Today I started to ask my ex about our sex life. I asked her...
1. Was my penis big enough to satisfy you?
A. She said yes it was alright. (vauge I think) She always said she liked it before....
2. Did she ever fake it?
A. She said out of all the times we had sex and whatnot 3 times she faked it to get me to stop. (since I wouldnt unless she came)
3. She said I fingered her good.
4. And I ate her out alright.
So overall she said she faked it 3 times and the rest was average or above average. And sometimes a bit below average. Now first of all I HAVE went to a doctors and I DO have clinical depression. There were times where I was erect but not rock hard like I should have been. Also she was my FIRST sexual partner in EVERY way. Also my first girlfriend and first love. Sad I know. My question is should I worry? I asked her if I was better than her ex and she wouldnt awnser. She said over all the sex was ok. But hell I was a 100% virgin! Should I think I have a small dick and suck in bed? Or chalk it up to the depression,lack of drive, inexperience etc? I have no self esteem as it is and this is killing me. Thanks.
Tue, 02/04/2003 - 06:46
#1
Lies revealed
Basically should I think Im bad in bed? Should I sit here and feel really crappy and have the fear of seeing other less commited women who will leave me? I dont know what to think. I think I did pretty good for a depressive, self loathing, virgin. But I still feel like I must be hard on myself. The first like 6 times we had sex I came pretty fast before I actually lasted long enough for her to cum. She said thats not normal. Im just confused and scared.
Chalk it up to experience and move on. I have faked it a few times but only with men who would not believe that we women can actually enjoy sex without an orgasm - in other words, to get him to stop.
After the breakup she is not remembering the good stuff. Suck it up, go get laid and move on. What one of us women think is terrible, another will enjoy; or we will enjoy it next time. Worry about your own satisfaction; we worry enough about ours.
Okay, I'm over 30 - married for 9 years and had quite a few sexual relationships before that (more than I'd like to admit).......I have never faked it! If I cum I cum if not - it was fun anyway!
Not that I don't understand why some women do, but I guess I just wanted to point out that not every woman fakes it.
Jaime
Just like the last comment said, every girl fakes it once or even more times, its not a big deal. You too broke up, shes not going to tell you, "oh you were great", if you were, and if you're not the best she ever had, it takes time and practice, it was your first sexual partner, dont worry about it. As time goes by, you will get better. Dont let it bother you, actually dont let any girl bother you, if you let too many things bother you, you will be a miserable person. Live life to its fullest, be yourself, and let things go. There my advice to you, I hope it helped.
Hi Rick,
From one clinically depressed person to another... try not to beat yourself up over it.
Everyone is "clumsy" (for lack of a better word) the first few times they have sex. It's natural for a guy to cum very quickly the first few times he has sex, and maybe not to bring the other person to orgasm. Practice and communication is what brings about these "perfectionisms".
I'm no expert in bed by any means, I'm still trying to figure out how to turn my man on, and I've been having sex for over 10 years (don't ask, long story). He's a new man, so I chalk it up to me not being sure what turns him on, how he is different from the other man I've been with, that sort of thing.
Sure it's frustrating... but with your next partner, just relax, and have fun... isn't that what sex is about?? Pleasing each other, and being pleasured?
I'm not sure if you are on any meds for your depression, but if you are that can be a HUGE! part of it. It can change your libido completely so you don't even want sex at all, or can change the "outcome" to where you can't reach orgasm, even though you are interested enough.
Just communicate openly with your partner, be as upfront as you can, and don't worry about what your ex said.
If you are taking meds for depression, or any other kind of mental illness, make sure you follow the dosage subscribed, and don't change them without your doctor's okay. If you don't like the meds you are on, and feel that they are messing WAY too much with your sex life, talk to your doctor, and maybe you can be switched to a new drug. There are a lot out there that won't affect your sex life...
I was on Celexa which killed my libido completely, but now I'm on Effexor, which gave me back my life (from depression's clutch) and my libido!!!
If anyone wants to talk more about depression and sex drive, etc, please feel free to email me, as I know there is a big stigma about mental illness. I'm very open to talking about it though (heartgirl03@yahoo.ca)
yeah, i know how you feel. i was wit ha guy and we were like best of friends and after he slept w/ me, he stopped talking to me. he wont even look me in the eye. what else am i suppose to think, of course i thought damn i am really bad in bed.he has much much more experience than i did. what is worse is that im in the recovery period o a very long depression( seven to eight years) and just even being with someone, letting someone in like that was kinda hard.
but since then, i just go on with life...when i meet someone that loves me enough and understands that experience is not everything and it takes time to learn what a partner wants ...then i have met my prince...
still, oh god...i still love him
Im in the same boat Itpurt.. my girlfriend was my best friend before my girlfriend. We used to talk about everything.. do everything.. she was like my other half and told me the same.. somewhere along the line she decided we lost our "spark" or something.. now i cant even look her in the eyes.. guess its time to move on