Let me first preface this: I'm happily married to my wife of 3 years and everything in the relationship is fine. We are not using condoms and nothing else is out of the ordinary. I've also not discussed this with her yet...
One thing I have noticed lately is a difference when I'm with my wife and I climax. The sensation is less intense. Instead of the rush of being rocketed to the moon and crashing back to earth, its more like pulling myself over a wall on an obstacle course. That's not a great analogy but I'll refine it if needed.
Anyway, I do still get the old sensation when I masturbate so I don't think it's a physical change in me (tired etc.) So my question is when you are with a partner for a while have you ever experienced this change yourself and if so have you been able to work with your partner in recapturing it? And especially for the women, what is the best/worst methods your partner can explain this to you without hurting your feelings?
Added: I'm concerned I may hurt her feelings if I say that she has made me feel good but not great for a while. (I'd never say it like that but am sure that's the gist) Perhaps we just have to mix it up a bit more...
spicing it up definately helps.
adding some tease to string it out so by the time you cum, you can't stand it anymore.
also, try timing it so you both cum at the same time.
oops I replied before the edit. sorry. this is the edit.
Statistics say that in the natural process of marriage due to many factors, the 3, 5,7,15, 23 year mark in a marriage is one of the critical years for interest to wane and eyes to wander... one reason is boredom setting in....
Keep the eyes from wandering by focusing on each other... become a lover again with each other.
Somewhere on the posts I read of a couple emailing each other hot stuff like two lovers would, phone sex with each other, and "naughty" rendevous with each other at local hotels... sounds like some fun to try to spice things up in foreplay before bed.
Take a cruise somewhere romantic.
Make time for good significant conversation about your day and life each day before you go to bed. Don't you remember how you could talk for hours when you first were dating and first got married....
Like the others said: Spice it up. Your imagination is the only thing holding you back.
It is the law of deminishing returns...
sometimes it begins before you get to bed.
Check all the other areas of your relationship too and spice that up. When was the last time you gave her flowers without reason or kissed her just for her being her... Make her feel sexy and desirable with your words and actions in and out of the bed and she'll go out of her way to find new ways to please in the bed.
A woman's nature by design is to respond.... Take a look at what she is responding to. (said in nice way not to hurt your feelings but to light a fire under you to not be lazy and spice things up in and out of bed... sometimes just plain ol thoughtfulness, respect, and courtesy... not taking each other for granted by getting comfortable in status quo is all that is needed.
Like the others said: spice it up.
Yup I agree mix it up. Bring in some fantasy, new toys, sexy lingerie. Whatever works for you really. I have been married 17 years and still have great sex because we try to keep on exploring new and fun things to do.
Repetition can become dull. Sounds like you need some new ideas. Try The Joy of Sex. Though dated, it is still the best source of ideas I am aware of.