You've been with this chick since 16, time to go unless marriage is eminent....if your putting a ring on her finger & walking down the isle in 3 months....hit the road...You are young and need to see what life has to offer, you need to have experiences--sexually & non-sexually. In other words, you need to live your life as does she! Smile, end as friends...and go forward. Always be polite since you never know where life ends you up...Ps.....Play the Field for a while.

We are all afraid of being alone. Hence, millions of dry marriages that should never have happened in the first place.

I agree with others that I think both of you are too young for such a serious relationship right now. You should be having fun, and if you are no longer having fun with each other, then it's probably best to end things and go single for awhile. You need to have some time to grow up and figure out who you are and who you are going to be, before you can settle down with someone and be in a serious relationship with them. You change a lot from the time you are 16 to the time you are 19, those three years can make you a completely different person. Just like you will go through tons of changes from now until you are 21, or 25. Don't hinder yourself by staying in a relationship when you are not happy. Everyone is scared of being alone but you go through times when it's best that you are single. This is a time in your life when you are supposed to be selfish, you are trying to figure yourself out and you should be spending time growing as a person, not tied down in a relationship. Just my opinions.

Adding to what Katie and the others have stated, you should be spending the next several years dating with no exclusivity to anybody until you are ready to settle down and one or two of the people you date become prominent. The purpose of dating is to make friends, to have more of a social life, and to learn what humanity has to offer in the way of characters, quirks, likes, dislikes, goals, values, religious ideas, children, etc. The more of these a person experiences from among the people you date, the better able you will be to choose Ms. Right when the time comes.

By not dating one person exclusively, you eliminate all the drama and angst associated with these pairings while young and as yet not fully equipped with coping skills. By dating lots of people, you will be alone less and be doing more things socially.

You need to spend these first few years out of your parents home living life, sewing your wild oats, and learning who you are and how you fit into the world at large. These are your growing and maturing years as has been stated.

Moreover, you should be finishing your education and/or settling into a career and saving money so you have a good nest egg to help with housing, babies, traveling, or whatever. It is poor form to enter into a marriage with little more than the clothes on your back a few personal possessions, and little or no money in a savings account.

As for being alone longterm, one good way to fix this is to join social and/or a sports club or activities in which women also participate. Go to church or volunteer your time to some worthwhile cause. If you do not find anyone in these ventures, use your contacts to help network for you and perhaps find some person from among those they know are looking for a man.

To answer your question about leaving, my reply is yes. She also needs to experience life, discover herself, and learn where she fits in society.

Dating does not preclude having an intimate relationship with someone if a relationship blossoms and matures enough for this. Just be safe.

The statistics in the U.S. and maybe elsewhere in the western world are that marriages in your age range will most likely end in divorce within the first five years. If you want a chance at having a lasting relationship into your senior years, spend these five years preparing yourself for the rest of your life. The likelihood is that when you are 24, you will be a vastly different human being than you are now.

[QUOTE=sexyand17;196945] just wondering if i should leave a 3 year relationship because it seems as tho im giveing more to her or at least trying to anyways but cant seem to live up to her exspectations as a man and keep her happy. I allways try to make it all about her but somehow ends up being about me cuz its just the way i was raised and the way i was tought or lack there of being taught how to be a man to my girl.[/QUOTE]

...and at her age, just how exactly is she supposed to know what a real man is supposed to be like?

Don't stay in a relationship simply because you've been in the relationship. Allow yourself to grow, and in doing so you will allow her to grow as well.

Hey sexyand17 - just remember SHE's not holding you back - YOU are! Most often our problems in life are our own fault - either from being too timid, or too bold. FORETHOUGHT is required in life. Be perspicacious!

Can I ask why everyone is against younger people being in a serious relationship? I understand you will feel is has been answered in doc's post above, but really - why is 99.999% of the advice re relationships to leave and get over it, sow your wild oats and hop in the sack with as many people as you can before you "settle down"?

[quote=atomic;198450]Can I ask why everyone is against younger people being in a serious relationship? I understand you will feel is has been answered in doc's post above, but really - why is 99.999% of the advice re relationships to leave and get over it, sow your wild oats and hop in the sack with as many people as you can before you "settle down"?[/quote]Mainly because as an older person we see many of our friends fail later in life either in marriage or in LTR's, wasting time, while knowing their partner was not compatible in MANY ways. Dating many while you are younger alleviates the pain/discomfort associated with divorce since it gives one an opportunity to find the type of person best suited for each. Then I say date for two years before considering marrying...most are off their "good behavior" then and the true person with all qualities and faults is revealed. Getting into a very serious relationship while young rarely leads to marriage with that person and you both have tied the other up for a long period of time being exclusive.

I know one couple, friends of mine, who have been together since 14, and are late 40's and happily married. Never dated anyone else. All other's failed. Even when married...you never truly know the person, that comes with more time.

It's not being AGAINST committed relationships at young ages; it's about figuring yourself out and each persons needs...that a more proactive approach to good choices. Who each sleeps with is a personal choice....many have regrets later on about not having been with others.

Atomic think about it - you're 13 and then you're 18 - the changes a person goes through during that time period are MUCH more extensive and much more fundamental than say those changes between, say, age 40 and age 45.
Now think of the vast differences between a young buck of 18 and a settled man of 45. Do you understand now WHY we say do NOt be exclusive early on?

The giggling girl at 13 will not be the same person when she's a woman of 40.
If she marries right out of high school to "the love of her life" - the chances of her remaining happily married to him at age 40 are poor. You know this.

The question is WHY are you fighting the knowledge?

Thank you Sera :) Appreciate the response.

I don't believe I am fighting anything at all, EEK. I am merely asking why. The only way to gain knowledge it to either ask or to experience it for yourself. I have not experienced it, so I ask :)

No, you do not have to experience things to learn them. You can deduce based upon what you know. You can also look it up.

And I am absolutely [COLOR="Magenta">tickled pink[/COLOR] to have had my reputation lowered by someone for asking a perfectly reasonable question on an information board! :D Gosh, how petty! :D

My deductions come out at different answers to yours, hence my asking :) This is an advice board, I would hope you are not discouraging people from asking questions?

Wasn't me! You can ask whatever you please.
But you are always on the side of "young love being serious & forever" when you know - it isn't. The old fashioned name for it was "calf love".

I'm actually not always on its side at all :) I don't think you could also say that it 100% isn't always and forever either (I would certainly agree on a 99% rule though).

Every relationship will be different, whether it is the people, actions, circumstances, internal and external influences - not all can be tarred with the same brush.

I am on the side of (within reason), giving things at least one chance.

But, atomic, they already have and then they come in here and ask for help - so that chance has already been given. If they've tried talking and working it out but still the relationship has failed, then it is time to "move on" - so we say so. It happens.

Atomic:

Generally when a relationship fails; it is for reasons. Second go around usually allows you an "attempt" to work through the matters but behaviors (positive or negative) usually surface again and both react again; hence, the relationship fails again for the same reasons. In past experience, I tried & we split again due to the same underlying issue--different priorities in life yet held similar goals & values in life. It just added another year and half of heartache to end up in the same spot with the same conclusion--a wedding called off one month prior to the date. To date, still no hard feelings on either side & we do talk on occasions as long as he is not discussing his "latest vacation experience" w/me.

Perhaps as a society we hold onto this old-fashioned notion of marrying the first 'love of your life'.

Back then, it used to be far easier to be content in your committed relationships for several reasons. Generally, couples got married at a much younger age, and once together, divorce wasn't really so much an option so problems were either worked out or endured through.

Today, we have movies, TV, the internet and magazines that paint us a picture of the world (biased or not)... but before mass-media, the average person didn't have as much of a world view. So they would tend to see the world as whatever it was like where they grew up, not necessarily knowing any better. For the same reason that young people are discontent with small twon living or in the way poor people can feel poorer (which is another subject), it's harder to be satisfied with what you got when you see that there is so much more out there in the world.

Society stereotype's norms. Live your life, travel see the world, see what life can offer, when ready make your choices. At my age; choices change throughout normal life stages--what I wanted at 20 is not the same as at 40+. I do want one thing; happiness then love everything else comes from experiences which living life has to offer.

At 50, I want fun & games! Which, come to think of it, was what I wanted at age 20. The difference now is that I know more ways of having that fun - life is more glorious than even I had supposed!