MOLESTING your daughter and letting your sons watch PORN...my soon to be EX husband
SHOULD he be labeled a sex offender.... HELL YES....!!!

[QUOTE=raunchy gal;263041]MOLESTING your daughter and letting your sons watch PORN...my soon to be EX husband
SHOULD he be labeled a sex offender.... HELL YES....!!![/QUOTE]

He should of been labeled that years ago when he done that raunchy gal ..
Instead he has been let of scotfree and still got his end away with you
numerous times over the years since... What on earth do the children think of that

Ok ,i know what i must look like to you nutty,but here's a few facts:1 - i've been suffering from depression/anxiety for 15yrs,this clouds your judgement 2 - I did not think i deserved any better in my life 3 - i thought i was protecting my children by not having their father charged,they did not want me to go to the police.And i did not want them to be dragged through the court system and have to give evidence against their father.It's his word against theirs.And to be brutally honest the punishments for sex offences in Australia are damned lousy.It's not worth the effort and money putting my children and myself through so much angst,when he'd have gotten off scott free anyway with a slap on the wrist and a community based order.He has an aquired brain injury which he would have used as an excuse for his actions.
4 - It's 2011,a new year,new friends,time for a change for the better
Ps Nutty you do have a right to your opinion,but you really only know me by what i write here.I'm really not a bad person and have always put my childrens welfare before my own.However i realise that my judgement at times was not the best,and the decisions i made at the time were not always the right ones.

[QUOTE=raunchy gal;263047].It's his word against theirs.And to be brutally honest the punishments for sex offences in Australia are damned lousy.It's not worth the effort and money putting my children and myself through so much angst,when he'd have gotten off scott free anyway with a slap on the wrist and a community based order.[/QUOTE]

Don't let's forget NZ and Aussie law are close to the same on alot of things so
the "Damn lousy punishment" aspect you are angling at is a bit BS.. Most countries take child molestation very seriously...

[QUOTE=nuttychick;263051]Don't let's forget NZ and Aussie law are close to the same on alot of things so
the "Damn lousy punishment" aspect you are angling at is a bit BS.. Most countries take child molestation very seriously...[/QUOTE]You omitted the part where i said that he has a disability which he would have used as an excuse for his actions.A brain injury he received in a car accident as a child.And do your research into sentences for sex offences in Victoria.You'll see that the punishment very rarely fits the crime.My chidren were 7 (twins)and 3 at the time and if you want to JUDGE me and call me a BAD mother then go ahead.

[QUOTE=underfloor heating;263029]Hi,
The label "sex offenders" is such a broad term. Everyone must keep an open mind and realize that not all sex offenders are the same. I'm not trying to play the devil's advocate nor am I excusing their behaviors, they have done mistakes in the past but not all sex offenders are black hearted demons. First, let's examine what actions a person take to deserve the label "sex offender".[/QUOTE]
"A sex offender (also sexual offender, sex abuser or sexual abuser) is a person who has committed a sex crime. What constitutes a sex crime differs by culture and by legal jurisdiction."
[url=http://www.answers.com/topic/sex-offender]Definition from Answers.com

Well; I guess that says it all... And it includes a long list of examples.

I've made comments before on how I think some sexoffends are defined in a deceiving way; meaning the offends in which the act was voluntary. I'm referring to voluntary and consenting sex between teens, in which conviction of "statutory rape" could be the result. Voluntary anal sex between two consenting adults is considered a sex offend in some countries. Also in some parts of the world same-sex-sex is convicted (even more so wrong, since it denies homosexuality). In all cases: these so called "victims" are from an entire different category. The term does not do any justice to the horrible experience real victims go through that were in fact forced!

[QUOTE=raunchy gal;263053]You omitted the part where i said that he has a disability which he would have used as an excuse for his actions.A brain injury he received in a car accident as a child.And do your research into sentences for sex offences in Victoria.You'll see that the punishment very rarely fits the crime.My chidren were 7 (twins)and 3 at the time and if you want to JUDGE me and call me a BAD mother then go ahead.[/QUOTE]

You obviously don't get it at all... Without punishment at all and your willingness to keep having sexual relations with the beast makes him think it was ok what he done..
What happens when your son gets old enough to have kids... Is he going to think it is ok to do the same? after all his father got away with it...
This cycle of child abuse could go for generations...

Here in the US it harsh if they get caught, but I knew one pervert who did 3 little girls at school where he worked and got by with it because he was a member of a church that backed him as a great man who was always working with kids. He didn't even get a slap on the wrist. Later he even bragged about it, the 4th girls parents wouldn't even press charges after the church talked to her parents. One day two of us caught him out and made a point, if it happens again the church can pray for him because my friend was going to end his life. He moved out of the neighborhood and quit his school job. He hasn't been seen since. I guess when your looking down the business end of a fully auto 9mm the game is over..............his butt should have been in jail after the first time.

[QUOTE=nuttychick;263061]You obviously don't get it at all... Without punishment at all and your willingness to keep having sexual relations with the beast makes him think it was ok what he done..
What happens when your son gets old enough to have kids... Is he going to think it is ok to do the same? after all his father got away with it...
This cycle of child abuse could go for generations...[/QUOTE]Nutty I NO LONGER have sexual relations with him,havent for a while actually.I AM GOING TO DIVORCE HIM "PERIOD"OK, GOT THAT.And one thing I DID DO for my children was get them into counselling and support them with unconditional love even when my oldest son went off the rails at age 11 and has only now at 17 turned his life around for the better.He's told me he HATES his father and NEVER WANTS to be like him.Yes he did have a problem with me still having sexual relations with his father,but it was only when it ceased did he come out and tell me.My son now lives with my parents as he and i have clashed over the years because of his behaviour which i understand was a way for him to vent his anger and frustration over the sexual abuse his father perpetrated on himself and his siblings.We get along much better now,and there's no way he'll ever want to do what his father did.I can also agree with Studmuffin,my husband was also the member of a church.He was a uniformed member of a particularly well recognised group.He had two persona's one for home and one for church.At home he was abusive,controlling and manipulative,but at church he was the perfect family man.Nobody believed he would have a dark side to him.I tried talking to the minister about our family situation several times.The response i got was "Oh he's under stress.Just be patient,perhaps you are not supporting him enough" I don't think my husband was ever spoken to about it all.I wish someone had pointed a gun at his head and pulled the trigger.And i'm a Christian and should have compassion and love for all of God's creatures.NO LOVE or COMPASSION for my so called husband ANY MORE

[QUOTE=raunchy gal;263064]Nutty I NO LONGER have sexual relations with him,havent for a while actually.I AM GOING TO DIVORCE HIM "PERIOD"OK, GOT THAT.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=raunchy gal;260442].We've had sex on & off since our separation & lately it's been really good(better than during our marriage even)d:[/QUOTE]
Posted less then 3 months ago...
Now I've had enough... child abuse is sick

Nutty,that was the VERY last time i had sexual relations with him.I've had support from friends and family helping me see the errors of my ways.And i had just ended a brief relationship which left me feeling guilty for cheating on him.So yes i did fall back into his arms again for a short period of time.And if you want to keep this spat going,just keep jabbing at me cause i'll just jab back.

O dear, this is a touchy subject.... Nutty, you do make valid points about how wrong child abuse is and that a mother could continue the damage by keeping relationships with the abuser; yes, it's wrong.

But from what I read here; RG now fully comprehends that what she did was wrong and is on a road to change. It was "only" 3 months ago she posted about having sex with her husband, so just look at how she's grown in a rather short period of time! Although it doesn't make the "wrongs" right; let us please not forget she was victim herself. I could cry reading what has happened to her over the years. Being abused over such long periods of time does tend to leave people depressed and with a total upside-down view of the world and unable to love themselves. But from all the posts I've read from RG, it seems clear that she has never stopped loving her children and wanted to take best of care for them, despite all circumstances. And that she never lost faith in the good of humans, which is a miracle as well as admirable.

What matters is that RG is now seeing the light. She may not have reached the finishline yet, but she'll get there! She tries to love herself, see the world in clear perspective again and is now ready to free herself from the beast (a very big step). Damage that has been done by the father and any of the relations she has kept with him, can not be undone. What can be done is acknowledge it has happened, that it was wrong and that she can now again have a healthy loving relationship with her children, as well as with herself. It seems like the sweet fruits are already getting ripe for the picking, given her bettering relationship with her son.

Happy new year and please stay on this road towards a better life, RG!
Off course; best wishes to you as well Nutty, and everyone else :)

Thank you Red Roses
Nutty i would like to apologize for my comments earlier about jabbing you back.I was angry...i'm very sorry!!

It is difficult to admit error, esp so when you know it already since it feels like you're being kicked when you're already down.

Let it be understood that sexual misconduct and sexual terrorism isn't about sex but about POWER - the need to have power over another human being, usually one who cannot/will not effectively fight back.

The answer is to prosecute, always prosecute such persons. Get the DNA, get the abuse documented and prosecute. This is to be preferred over the 'rough justice' method but it must be clearly understood that should this preferred method not be effective, 'rough justice' always remains an option.

The Washington Post Magazine just recently detailed a case of a minister in a small Virginia town being found out not only an abuser of his 18 month old son (to the point that he had made his son an imbecile) - but also the son's murderer. Unfortunately, this beast who calls himself a man remains at large and alive.