Hey guys, its been a long time since I've been on these boards, but I have a question for some of the senior members. I have been doing kegel exercises for a little while, and have noticed a definite difference in orgasm power, ejaculation power, and even hardness. But my question is, in order to "orgasm without ejaculating" are you supposed to contract your pc muscle and hold it until the orgasm subsides? Also, even though you orgasm, it is the ejaculation that is required in order to have a "down time" correct?
I am just curious because I have decided to start doing them because I want to be able to last for my partner (LTR only using birth control both tested and clean). I never had a problem when wearing a condom, but now I feel as if I should just call myself a virgin :p. And I have tried, although unsuccessfully to stop myself from ejaculating (But I am getting there). I just wanted to make sure I was doing it right
First off, I think it's important to mention that any orgasm you have is going to cause some reduction in the hardness/firmness of your erection. I think Doc talked about it in the sticky regarding PE (Just checked, and couldn't find the comment. It must be in one of his replies somewhere). In regard to actual refractory periods, you are correct. You should have no refractory period after a non-ejaculatory orgasm. This is something I am working on as well, with some success. And yes, the idea is to flex the PC muscles you've been training to hold back the tide, so to speak. Determining when to begin flexing is the really challenging part. Flex too soon and you won't get that delicious orgasm you just cheated yourself out of, or flex too late and those mounting ejaculatory contractions will be too hard to resist/hold back. Feel free to use the squeeze method techniques Doc described in tandem with flexing your PC muscles.
Try to recognize what your point-of-no-return feels like and what it feels like to get to that point. Begin to squeeze your PC muscles as soon as you reach that point and stop/reduce all stimulation. Keep squeezing until you return to a lower point on your plateau, and then resume stimulation. Rinse/repeat. Each successive orgasm will be stronger than the last. I think some people have coined the term "edging" to describe this whole process. Re-reading the sticky to refresh your memory is probably a good idea.
Hope this helps!
Hello Guys,
Can you please explain me about the Kegel Exercises? I would like to know and do this exercise. Pleas help me.
It is in fact possible to separate orgasm from ejaculation. I arrived at this through practicing the "grunt" technique which relaxes the PC muscle. This is the opposite of the so called "Kegel" exercise which tenses the PC muscle.
In the grunt technique the man mimics the action of trying to pass a difficult stool and grunts in the same manner actually eases the tension in the ejaculatory apparatus thus allowing him to postpone ejaculation for a while. At first you might want to stop thrusting. If she asks what's going on, especially what the grunting is about, you can tell her. After you have done it a few times you know the muscles and don't have to actually grunt. With practice you should be able to postpone ejaculation and possibly ( in my case it happened) separate ejaculation from orgasm thus allowing yourself to have more orgasms in a session.
You also need to rethink your understanding of orgasm. Studies show that any part of the body where we have skin with nerve endings can be stimulated until orgasm is reached. The most obvious places are the genitals, but the breasts and buttocks are also easy areas to work with. Patience and the right partner can lead to orgasm through stimulation of the feet, hands, arms, legs and neck.
Back to ejaculation--- You say you want to make sure you are doing it "right." At the risk of sounding like a guru (which someone called me this week, lol) I'll say that you have to discover what is the right way for you. If you ever experience an orgasm in which you ejaculate, but continue to have an erection afterward try to be aware of what was happening, how it happened and your state of mind at the time. In the future you will want to replicate this. Have you ever had a double ejaculation?. By double ejaculation I mean that you ejaculated a little then stopped only to have a more satisfying ejaculation/orgasm seconds or minutes later. If you experience this then you are probably on the right track. The first ejaculation will relieve the pressure in the prostate and the rest of the ejaculatory apparatus. This will allow you to continue or resume thrusting until another or more ejaculatory episode.
I have had as many as six ejaculations in one lengthy session with the same erection. Another result that I have had from use of the grunt technique and the exploration of non genital orgasms is the ability to have several ejaculatory orgasms in a relatively short period of time while maintaning an erection.
I should add that just because it worked for me doesn't mean it will work for you. Your mileage may vary, as they say.