My girlfriend and I are going to get married. She asked me a question that I don't know the answer to. I'm of the Christian - Presbyterian faith, and she is of the Catholic. What she had asked me was, what kind of priest would we have? Also, her and I broke up back in June, and then we got back together. She asked me, would we have a new anniversary date, or keep our old one. Our old one was Dec 7, and the new is Dec 17th. Thanks for the help!
Thu, 12/23/2010 - 00:32
#1
I've gots a question (lol)
well in all the wedding i have attended i have learned that usually the guy goes with the faith of the woman. so if she is catholic then you should have a catholic priest. thats what i learned. and if you broke up and then got back together you should use the new anniversary date. dec 17th. i hope that helps any.
Generally speaking, the answer to both questions is precisely the same: do whatever the two of you agree upon. It's your relationship so it's up to you.
Some couples do indeed go with whatever the bride wants, because traditionally the bride's family picks up the tab--s/he who writes the check often gets their way. IMHO, in the end it should be all about what the couple wants.
However--you should be aware that unless you're willing to convert to Catholicism, it's likely you won't be allowed to marry in the Catholic church.
As a Presbyterian married to a Catholic - it depends upon how involved each of you is in your faith. My husband is a "reserve Catholic" meaning if God needs another Catholic, He can call him up. But the problems with finding, at that time, a Catholic priest willing to do the honors gave my husband such a disgust that we were married by my minister. It was two years after the birth of my son, 6 years after our marriage, before the Catholic church accepted our marriage. They wrote a letter to my husband to tell him so. He was not impressed.
Our children were raised Protestant.
A church, being the House of God, should certainly know that people come to God in their own time and in their own way - but being men, they chose coercion rather than patience and welcoming with open arms and open hearts.
I was Protestant,and my husband Catholic when we married.We solved the problem by migrating to a nuetral non denominational church.Didn't do our marriage much good though we separated 7 years later and i now attend an Apolstolic/Pentecostal church.
For the church thing it will be easier for the Roman Catholic to marry in most main stream Protestant churches than for the Protestant to get married in the Roman Catholic church. My sister's marriage was just like Evil Evil Kitten's; after they had been married several years the Church of Rome gave them permission to get married. I know from first hand experience that Presbyterian clergy can sometimes take a harsh view of simple things so you might consider an interdenominational or nondenominational wedding or consider a more liberla denomination.
Your anniversary will be the date on which you actually get married.
Wrong church for you, RG. You do NOT need a church that strict and with that much structure esp since that structure is anti-woman in the extreme, as I know from those in it. Something with more heart and understanding is required in your case.
The acid test is to ask if they take The Bible literally. If they do, they are NOT the church for you.
I love God, but I just can't stand his fan club...taken from "the shack"...;)
> Your anniversary will be the date on which you actually get married.
I agree. When there is a contract, you can then celebrate the anniversary.
If you want to celebrate the anniversary of the first date or the date that the two of you decided to go together, then celebrate that. The break up and subsequent get together are a non-issue. Actually, truth be told, you can celebrate anything you want to celebrate. What matters are the license, the contract, the "I DO", and, the consummation. Celebrate that day.
go in a third direction, choose a Rabbi
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;263127]Wrong church for you, RG. You do NOT need a church that strict and with that much structure esp since that structure is anti-woman in the extreme, as I know from those in it. Something with more heart and understanding is required in your case.
The acid test is to ask if they take The Bible literally. If they do, they are NOT the church for you.[/QUOTE]
I've been to two Apolostolic/Pentecostal churches EEK.This one is alot more accepting of women than the first.Women are treated as equals not lesser persons.I have spoken to the female pastoral-care pastor about my situation with my husband in detail,and was told that in my case divorce is acceptable.The church encourages women to participate in the various social groups available.It is a very welcoming and friendly atmosphere.I have attended numerous churches over the years - Baptist,Protestant,Uniting,Salvation Army (where i was married)and the two Apolstolic/Pentecostal of which the first i left, as i did feel that they treated women very inferiorly.
My wife grew up Catholic and I grew up Baptist. However, to care any less about religion, we'd have to be dead--so we went with a Justice of the Peace. :p
As many posters already stated, you will be more likely to find a Protestant minister to marry you than a Catholic Priest. Unless you're willing to convert, the Catholics probably won't do it. And I suppose if I actually thought there were a God who cared about who I made contracts with, I may try to comply with what he wanted. As it stands, however, if a church refused to accept the contract I wish to make (which is their right, to be sure) I would shrug and take my contract elsewhere.
PS: Hello, everyone. I'm new here. :)