i know how you feel kinda. When i was with my one girlfriend i could have sex back to back and such, without a condom. I then got another girlfriend and started using a condom, and i was use to "well i came, im done." so recently i got back with that one girl and she is on the pill now. So I wanted to last longer than what I did, and it was hard because i couldn't concentrate on anything other than that since i hadn't had sex for quite a long time.

ONE MORE THING--
with regard to the squeeze technique.

It is extremely important that when a man calls for his partner to FREEZE all movement, She does.

Although the barrel of the penis is referred to as the "shaft", what can be seen is only half the structure. It has been reported that at least half of the penile structure lies buried within the abdominal cavity. (It is not unlike a tree in which we see the long trunk yet forget about the immense root structure underground). That said, then the question is: are there nerves deep inside? Answer: YES. You can test this out for yourself by rotating the shaft of your penis in a wide circle about the base when you have reached the trigger point. It is not necessary to do any further stroking, rubbing of the frenulum or another hot spot, etc., this motion, alone will trigger deep-seated nerve endings and will trigger your orgasm.

This is why it is so very important that when you call out for your partner to FREEZE or give her some other signal, that all movement stop. She cannot and must not move your penis even a little bit because any tiny motion is often enough to transport you beyond the brink.

For the squeeze technique to work reliably all the time, you must be able to give her sufficient warning so that she can shift her hand position and apply the necessary pressure to the shaft.

And, this brings me full circle. The squeeze technique works great, but why use it when you can train yourself to maintain control with a little training. Moreover, this training is actually a requirement when you want to get into position for intercourse. So, use it for this as well as to prolong foreplay.

> I came as soon as I realized she put her hand down my pants. I was really bummed about that, but life goes on....

Yup, sure does. This is proof, again, as noted, yesterday, in another thread, that all of us become much more highly aroused when in the presence of our lover than we get when alone. This is because the emotional and psyche connections in addition to the pheromones in the air.

Here, again, the key is to let your sense of urgency subside before letting her take matters into her hands. And, as has been the focus of these two posts, training you to recognize when you are about to loose it, yet being able to prevent it from happening.

SO WHAT HAPPENED--

Well, anything could have triggered this. The least little movement of your penis as her hand was sliding along the inside of your pants might have. The hyper-sensitivity of the nerves along your lower abdomen between your belly button and pubic mound, the least movement of the penis, or, the rubbing of the glans or frenulum against clothing.

PREMATURE EJACULATION DEFINED--

Simply put, this is a condition that by definition occurs before we desire it to {prematurely). What is not well defined by the sexperts is how short a span of time is it that is "premature?" I believe it is safe to say that if an orgasm occurs:
* within the first minute of intercourse
* as a result of inserting the penis into the vagina initially
* upon the return stroke
* during the first few strokes

that any one of these qualifies as having the condition known as "Premature Ejaculation. This is a condition common to most if not all teenage boys and often lasts into a man's mid-twenties before finally aging out and going away. (It can revisit on a short temporary and transitory manner anytime throughout life.)

For couples experiencing this during oral sex then the time element is the benchmark. That a man climaxes ~2--10 minutes later and before he desires to, is not a case for Premature Ejaculation. Now, having said this, the ability for a guy to hold off having an orgasm is all the same and is why this exercise outlined in the previous post is so important to do.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE EXERCISE--

I didn't come right out and say it, but while doing each exercise, try and continue to hold the man's climax at bay by building his arousal to the brink, pausing until the sense of urgency subsides, then rebuilding his excitement, again, two or more times before eventually letting him enjoy his long awaited orgasm.

There is a fine line between purpose, pleasure, and torture.

While you have a choice whether to use your training alone, or, to use the squeeze technique, my recommendation is to use the latter as Plan B--just in case Plan A came into play too late.

I hope this has been of help. Got questions?

dancingdoc2

> I know there have been other posts on the topic, but I am having a big problem with cumming too soon.... I really wish there was something I could DO about it... I'm one of those obsessive self-improvement kind of people.

There is, but first, Branydye's recommendation for the "squeeze techniquie" is excellent. Stewie's advise is also good; however, for them to work, both make two assumptions.

THE FUNDAMENTALS--

The first is that the man can recognize when he has reached the trigger point of his orgasm; and second, that he can and will let his partner know in plenty of time to stop or FREEZE all movement.

There are two inherent weaknesses with #1; the first is in implementing it in time; the second is that absolutley NO MOVEMENT of any kind take place during the freezing of all motion (stroking, etc.). The weakness with #2 is strickly that of the mind. All too often once we get to the point of an orgasm the feellings are so wonderful that we often just say to ourself, "ah shucks" and then in a moment of extreme ecstasy simply let nature take its course. We know we should stop and yet we decide not to. Let's explore these issues in greater detail.

For the squeeze technique to work reliably the man must learn to recognize the sensations associated with an approaching climax. There are a couple of important benchmarks along our response curve that we must learn to recognize.

* The first is in being aware of the sensations associated with and immediately prior to the triggering of an orgasm.
* The second is in learning to recognize the sensations just prior to the trigger point when it is still possible to maintain control and in fact stop all stimulation in order to stave off an orgasm.

Once a man learns to control these two, the next challenge is to see how close he can move the second benchmark to the first and still maintain control over his "destiny".

* The ability to actually decide to take pause and let the sense of urgency subside is really a conscious decision that must be made. Because we often give in to the ecstacy of the moment it is not unlike what happens when we are on a diet and "wake up" to find ourselves returning from a trip to raid the refrigerator during a commercial. We knew we were doing it but only after the fact did we have remorse.

THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION--

Like Brandye stated, learning to use the squeeze technique can be fun. So too is the training method I recommend couples practice together. The premise is to teach the man to recognize where he is along his response curve and what these respective sensations are. The reason we often ejaculate prematurely is because the climax sneaks up on us and we do not associate the feelings immediately prior to that of the point of no return. The following exercise is designed to fix all this.

WHY THE EXERCISE--

It is important to understand that the exercise requires the woman's participation. A man cannot do this alone because of the interference caused by our internal feedback, and, because if we could do it alone, we wouldn't have the problem in the first place. When we turn over control of our arousal to someone else we loose the ability to self regulate it; gone is the benefit of having internal feedback.

* We must therefore learn to recognize what sensations are experienced immediately prior to an orgasm when we cannot stop
* We must also learn to recognize the sensations associated with the benchmark immediately prior to this "point of no return" when in fact we can continue to maintain control if we only decide to tell our partner to FREEZE!

There are benefits and rewards associated with getting a handle on this. We need to be able to gain control over our responses in order to:
1. be able to pause until the sense of urgency subsides so that we can prolong the foreplay by building and rebuilding our arousal over and over until finally deciding to enjoy the orgasm.

2. be able to stop in time so that we can get into position for intercourse.

DOING THE EXERCISE--

Perfecting the exercise will take several days or a few weeks depending upon how often the two of you can get together and practice. The practice sessions are actually quite simple--and enjoyable.

What the two of you want to do is to find some alone time when you will not be disturbed, and, when you are not in a particularly amorous mood. Each exercise session need only take thirty minutes or less of the couple's time. It is also not really necessary to do a lot of kissing and caressing to begin with; just get down to "business", so to speak.

The purpose, as noted above, is to turn control of the man's climb toward orgasm over to his partner and for him to be very conscious of the various sensations and feelings he is experiencing along the journey. The challenge is for him to be able to recognize with 100% reliability when he has reached the second benchmark--where he can stop without loosing control. Secondarily, is to recognize when he has reached that point of no return and will coast over the top without being able to prevent an orgasm from happening.

Once he can recognize these two conditions and control the second, his next task is to see how close he can position the two benchmarks without loosing control.

IMPORTANT--

Know that mistakes will happen while he is attempting to get a handle on his responses. If and when he has an unexpected orgasm, do not make a big deal about it. Simply wait for his recovery and try again, or, just stop and try again another time.

Once he has gained mastery over his responses, he can then provide the required feedback to his partner, thus replacing his internal feedback that more or less subconsciously controls his ability to regulate the timing of his orgasms when masturbating. This is why we do not suffer from Premature Ejaculation when taking matters into our own hands, so to speak!

CHOICES--

Once mastery over your destiny has been achieved, you can then use this method or the squeeze technique reliably. Variety is spice.

Next time you masterbate, don't do it to completion. Either stop by removing all stimulation and focusing, or one strong kegel. When you feel the desire to ejaculate subside, continue again. Keep doing this as long as you can (if you have the time).

Every time you masturbate, use this technique. Soon, you will begin to recognize when you need to slow down or stop completely. When you resume, you will be able to last another few minutes.

Along with relaxing breaths, kegels, and age you will not see it as a problem for much longer.

And if a girl seems to make an issue of it, just say that you have never been with someone who has turned you on that much.

Thats going to happen the first few times you have sex (until you get use to it). If you're still at the "OMG shes touching me!" part, then expect to cum soon. You said this problem is the reason youve been staying away from relationships, but maybe thats the reason you still have this problem. My advice: get a girlfriend, have sex regularly so you learn what everything feels like, and realize that this is just part of the rocky beginnings of sex that everyone goes through (look at the numerous posts on the subject). ...then just film it all and send it to me.

Well, the good news is that, at your age, there is always another spoonful ready in a few minutes. Your ejaculation is not the end of the evening. Many young men are good several ejaculations in a relatively little time.

Longer term, you may want the help of a cooperative partner. Look up, in a search engine, "squeeze technique." It is usally effective over time and is great fun for both partners while learning.

deep slow breathing, can help, same with focusing on another part of your body besides the lower regions, pc exercise, kegels all that helps, mula bandha which is a yogic term for all that, google it and see what comes up.