Hi all, i have been married for ten years now and it does'nt matter what i do i say she just doesn't seem interesed in sex at all, i offered to buy her sexy new lingerie and got told she not into that type of stuff although a year ago she would have bitten my hand off at the oppurtunity, i can prepare a romantic meal / evening and that doesnt make a difference, it jus doesnt matter what i do or suggest it's jus not happening, any advice. :confused:
Fri, 10/22/2010 - 16:18
#1
Is it me or Her
How is your marriage?
How is your relationship with each other?
(Are you certain?) Because communication and feedback are cornerstones to a successful marriage, I recommend asking her.
It has been said that when a marriage is working well, sex is 10% of the reason, and, when a marriage is not working well, sex is 90% of the reason.
I recommend that your wife see her doctor and an endocrinologist in order to have her hormone levels checked. There can be a number of contributing factors from the emotional, above; to entering menopause.
If your relationship is great, the marriage is great, she is otherwise happy and content, then most likely her hormones are out of balance. Regardless, she should have a complete medical evaluation. If she scoffs at doing this, then I would question the answers you are getting to the other questions.
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Are you sure she's not having an affair!!Sounds a little suspicious to me,if you did those things for me i'd jump your bones in an instant.Could she be going through menopause......!!!
It is not you; it is not she. It is the marriage. So often said here, sex is often aymptom rather than the problem. The two of you need to have some supervised discussions. See a counselor: at best, the old spark comes back; at worst, you do not destroy one another coming apart.
Thanks to all for the replies, i have spoken to her about it and the response that i get is that she's just not in the mood, i can understand that she is not in the mood maybe once a fortnight but she is not in the mood permanently i keep saying to myself maybe tomorrow but we all know tomorrow never comes and quite honeslty i NEED sex, i have checked out phone bill and my brothers number comes up alot like 20 plus times a day but i really dont think he or she is that stupid i also spoke to her about that and its always i needed to speak to him about a motorbike race or something else, we spent the day together with my brother and his Mrs and she still managed to send over 20 texts so yes i am asking myself the affair question. I wouldnt say she is high maintenance as i really don't earn alot very from from alot, so from here i just carry on looking at other woman wondering if they would be up for a bit of fun (that is so wrong) but i need sex.
Well if you were in Aus i would cheer you up.'What's good for the goose is good for the gander'especially if she went wandering down the garden path in the first place.If you really want to save your marriage i don't know,maybe confront your brother about the alleged affair,or better still try and catch them in the act.
Thanks Rg all will eventually come out who knows when but it will all come out maybe i am right and maybe i am wrong but as i said i just want sex i am like a raging flippin bull just below the waist line if you know what i mean ;-)
yes i do know i have a very high sex drive at the moment as i'm starting menopause.I keep going back to my estranged husband for sexwhen i know i shouldn't.If you were my husband i wouldn't let you go without provided you treated me right.In my opinion i do think that there is something going on between your wife and brother,sorry to say and be the bearer of bad news.Maybe you should chat to your sister in law,she might suspect something and you both can get revenge,perhaps by hooking up together.
I think I go along the line of some expert advice. I don't think you mention any family. I am a great believer that a married couple have a responsibility to their offspring. Sex is not simply the glue for a strong marriage. It is a basic instinct at the end of the day. Surely you must have other things to focus on which are positive outcomes of your decade of dual harmony?
Good luck anyway.
Thanks for getting this back to counselling, maupassant, that is where it belongs. In fact, even more clearly now then when originally suggested.