I'm a virgin planning to lose her virginity shortly to a rather more experienced man. I've noticed that the use of store-bought lubrication is strongly encouraged, and I understand why, but I still have a question. Just how do you introduce the use of lube to your partner? Is this going to be interpreted as some weird sign of thinking him inadequate (for not getting me wet enough)? Do you just whip out the AstroGlide while he's rolling on a condom, or is there a better moment at which to apply it? The logistics of this are proving far less amusing than the Sock Gap.
Fri, 03/17/2006 - 00:08
#1
introducing lube
you might try handing it to him with a condom at the same time. besides, i dont think he'll be opposed to a slicker ride....
Hi there,
I think you are thinking too much. :confused: Communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship, whether you are discussing matters of the heart, checkbook, who takes out the trash, how many children, religion, etc., et cetera, etc. With regard to this topic, you have options:
* you can talk about it matter of factly at a time when the two of you are not planning on making love saying that you have a bottle in the nightstand just in case
* if he brings up the subject you can tell him you don't think you'll need it, but....
+ The buts are that your level of production can vary from day to day and not be any reflection on his prowess.
+ That if you need some help, it is no reflection on him
+ That sometimes a condom needs an application regardless of how wet you are, even if one of you goes dipping with a finger to spread some mucus on the condom
> Do you just whip out the AstroGlide while he's rolling on a condom, or is there a better moment at which to apply it?
If you do not know whether you need the lube, simply have it handy and if he has trouble penetrating, then either add some mucus, as above, or, just say "wait a sec." and simply roll over, reach in the drawer and bring out the Astroglide with a wink and a smile telling him you have something you want to spread all over his penis then make a "big (positive) deal" out of applying it if you want. This is really no big deal; although it could be considering the "fragile male ego" problem some guys battle.
You do not mention how you intend to protect yourself from pregnancy. Assuming spermicide and condom, you can have the spermicidal jelly already in you. Put a full applicator into your vagina and a pea-sized dollop on your finger to place at you entrance.
If oral is expected to be part of the foreplay, or even to bring you off, you may want to have the applicator filled and handy. After oral, it can be inserted. If he is experienced, this will all be quite natural. Just part of preparation and protection.
I would say....that you talk to him about it! let him know that since you are a virgin...that you would be more comfortable using extra lubrication...and since he is more expiernced he will understand y...:)
yeh...you could make it more interesting with it too...
i know for sure, id get turned on even more if my gf helped with putting the condom/lube on me...
[quote]I think you are thinking too much.[/quote]But I'm just a thinky kind of girl, Doc. You can't expect me to change just for this. ;)
Brandye, I've been on oral contraceptives for several years to help tame truly wretched periods. I've been more careful than usual over the past couple of months to take them on time, so that should suffice.
I've been known to blunder into little sacred heaps of doo-doo when it comes to the male ego. After giggling at an inopportune moment a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to be sure I wasn't going to be doing yet another thing 'everyone' knows you're not supposed to do. Men can be so sensitive about the strangest things....
Oh, and champloo, I fully intend to help. :cool:
Thank you all for your input.
Thank you for the follow up. Your sense of humor will see you through. I like you.
> Men can be so sensitive about the strangest things....
Yup! As a dance instructor I have to contend with the fragile male ego all the time. It is a curse.
well hey spell, good luck whenever your plannin to lose ya virginity :D
It'll have to be later than I thought, champloo. His sister has surprised us all by making a trip to town this week for her son's first birthday with Gram and Gramps, so naturally we'll have to attend the G-rated family gathering. No sex for us - at least, none so long as I maintain I don't want my first time to be some contortionist's quickie in the backseat of his Toyota Echo. I've waited twenty-four years to be in a relationship like this one. I hardly think my naughty bits will shrivel from another week's technical disuse.
[QUOTE=Brandye]You do not mention how you intend to protect yourself from pregnancy. Assuming spermicide and condom, you can have the spermicidal jelly already in you. Put a full applicator into your vagina and a pea-sized dollop on your finger to place at you entrance.
If oral is expected to be part of the foreplay, or even to bring you off, you may want to have the applicator filled and handy. After oral, it can be inserted. If he is experienced, this will all be quite natural. Just part of preparation and protection.[/QUOTE]
Just a quick question, Brandye: How long will spermicide remain active inside the vagina? Is there a certain safe time limit a couple has before the spermicide has lost its effectiveness?
but you never know....you both might wake up in the middle of the night, and happen to meet each other in a hallway with sudden urge to have deep, compassionate, sex.
lol, although unlikely. ah well, i bid you a good time at the "G-rated" gathering.