It happened a long time ago, but I remember the first time I went with a white girl (I'm of east Indian extraction). I literally shook, and not with excitement or arousal. I remember being scared as anything. This must have seemed strange to her, given that I was much taller and outweighed her by a 100Ibs or so.
The girl asked, "What's the matter?" I just trotted out some lame spiel about "It's my first time with a white girl", or something equally crass-sounding. However, she seemed to understand how I meant it, even sympathetic, and tried reassuring me with a line like "Yeah, but it's my first time too with a guy who isn't white. You don't see me holding back!!"
Ever since then, at almost 36 now, I've been straight in with girls of my own colouring, but I distinctly remember, every time before I even touch a white girlfriend, there's always a moment of....trepidation. That's the only word that fits. Followed by EXTREME arousal, much more so than with other girls.
Let me reiterate - just a few seconds hesitance. I would guess it's nothing that warrants seeing a shrink, but I wanted to work out what this could be.
Any ideas?
JayBee.
Don't judge women by skin color, they are human beings like us. I never judge women by skin color, it's just color. They have the same touch of skin. No difference. I'll date a woman no matter what skin color she is, whether she's black, asian, hispanic, etc.
Yes, I think it is racist when they are not attracted to a different skin color.
My best friend is the same way. He doesn't like black women and would never date one.
They are just human beings. They need to be loved like the white people. I hate judging by black and white people, it is racist for sure and it bothers me.
[QUOTE=Quote (sexbfun @ July 03 2004,04:23)]I agree, it is a matter of social conditioning. Growing up in my area everyone I went to school with, dated, or was even attracted to was white. The first time I was with someone hispanic, I was kinda intimidated about it.
Afterwards of course, I really liked it. Ever since, I have really wanted to get with an African American girl... don't know why, just seems exciting somehow.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, black girls...I have to be honest, although I'm not a racist, I'm not generally attracted to black women.
But maybe the following is racist; I want to sleep with one black girl, at least, during my lifetime. I dunno, that seems kind of racist, somehow, to myself - anyone else think so? It seems at least unfair, because if all white girls thought similarly, I'd never get any!
It's so weird - I'd have no hesitation about offering a black girl a job, a lift in my car, coffee at my place etc, so why should I feel that going to bed with one is any different? Why is the line drawn there, and why do I feel that way?
Mysteries, mysteries!!!
JayBee.
I agree, it is a matter of social conditioning. Growing up in my area everyone I went to school with, dated, or was even attracted to was white. The first time I was with someone hispanic, I was kinda intimidated about it.
Afterwards of course, I really liked it. Ever since, I have really wanted to get with an African American girl... don't know why, just seems exciting somehow.
Hi Jaybee.
I would say it's social conditioning. There has always been a segment of society that says stick to your own. Why that is I'm not sure. I'm sure that it's always there in the back of your mind- "People are staring and judging me." (even if there is no one around)
Being gay, I can somewhat relate to this. The danger is that you become so defensive that you think you already know what someone's reaction is going to be. The funny thing is most people couldn't care really. But the few really bad reactions keep most of us from being totally comfortable all the time.
What seems to work best for me is a "This is my life and too bad if someone else doesn't like it" attitude. When it comes down to it, YOU are the one who has to live with yourself 24/7. So you should do what makes you happy.