Ok recently sex has been very frustrating. Oral and foreplay are fine, great even. But when it comes down to sex I seem to be ejaculating really quickly the first time, within a couple of mins. Then if my penis does decide to wake back up, I can’t get a proper erection, it seems to be in a limbo of a full erection and a semi and I very often loose what I have after a few mins intercourse. This is extremly annoying for both of us. My gf doesn’t show any anger when this happens and says not to worry but everyone knows that it would piss you off!
I understand surrounding, feeling and mind frames effect sex. Would these factors affect me so drastically? I haven’t got a very good sleeping pattern, but I never really have. As far as I know I don’t have anything medically wrong with me.
I will apologise if this has been brought up in other threads, but my example seemed a little more specific then what other posts read.
Thank you
OK, so here's the deal(s)........
Let's break this down into its various pieces-parts and fix each one in turn:
> Ok recently sex has been very frustrating. Oral and foreplay are fine, great even. But when it comes down to sex I seem to be ejaculating really quickly the first time, within a couple of mins.
As a young dude you are suffering a very common malady known as "Premature Ejaculation". It happens to most young male lovers when in the presence of a lover. It does not happen when home alone for two reasons.
First, because we are seldom if ever as turned on as when in someone elses company that we have feelings for.
Second, because we are in control of our journey toward an orgasm and can modulate our movements and make any midcourse corrections. Not so when someone else's hand is at the "controls".
There are two good fixes. The first is the "Squeeze technique" championed by Brandye that works well in the here and now, the second is an exercise that the two of you can practice and perfect that will help teach you how to be in control of your feelings during the heat of passion. You can learn more by doing an advanced search of the Board using my name and the search terms: PE, Premature Ejaculation, exercise, squeeze--or, simply follow this link to my reply for a detailed explanation of the exercise and how to use it to your benefit: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/plea...light=exercise
You will age out of the problem eventually, and usually by the mid-twenties. PE can visit any guy on a temporary transitory basis throughout life so it is no big deal in the overall scheme of life. You just think it is right now. Regardless, this is why these fixes are so important to all concerned.
> Then if my penis does decide to wake back up, I can’t get a proper erection, it seems to be in a limbo of a full erection and a semi and I very often loose what I have after a few mins intercourse.
It generally takes a guy between 15 and 30 minutes between any two climaxes to recoup and regroup. The two of you can keep the fires of passion warm with ongoing kisses and caresses that do not directly rebuild his ardor until he is ready to go again. Then, and this is important, begin at Square One by making out and doing more foreplay eventually. Erections are tied to arousal and you just gotta do things to not only keep the mind fired up but also the genitals. So, make love and make out, some more and the erection should come back. Even if it isn't as hard as before, you will still be able to perform, and, as does usually happen, it will harden (and you will feel it!) immediately preceeding the next orgasm. Now, if you go for three, then, yes, maybe it will not be nearly as hard, yet as you may know by now, you don't need a full blown erection in order to enjoy an orgasm.
> This is extremly annoying for both of us. My gf doesn’t show any anger when this happens and says not to worry but everyone knows that it would piss you off!
Well then, don't gett pissed off. You can make that decision, and now you have some information on which to work smarter. Good luck.
> I understand surrounding, feeling and mind frames effect sex. Would these factors affect me so drastically?
Distractions, and a lack of focus for whatever reason--like the chance of being discovered, etc., can affect either person's ability to perform well.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
thank you very much. I have read about the exercises and will definatly give them ago.
thanks
Yes, as Doc says, I am a champion of the squeeze technique. It requires your partners cooperation but it can be enjoyable for each of you if she does not mind sticky fingers. Google "squeeze technique."