Just relax.....Guys aren't too picky when it comes to sex...and if he's into to you I'll bet he's willing to be patient while you learn ....:D

ye thts true most boi's arnt 2 picky wid sex stuff if it pleases them, then it works basically.

> boi's arnt 2 picky wid sex stuff if it pleases them, then it works basically.

I have to disagree with this statement. A person spending just a few minutes browsing the Board will find many threads in which guys are dissatisfied and unsatisfied and wondering why and what to do about it. In part it is the "why" of why this site exists.

> > when it comes to me pleasing him i lose all my confidence.

hmmmblush, confidence is acquired both by knowledge and experience. There are numerous threads on the Board that will provide knowledge. Experience is gained through practice. It is important to understand that every time a new relationship is formed, both parties have a new "Square One" from which to start. Any previous experience that one or the other of you may have equates to knowledge, not skill.

The reason this is so is because we all have different expectations, quirks, likes, dislikes, preferences, wishes, AND, ways to be stimulated that are unique and specific to each of us. These must be learned and ajustments made to our knowledgebase. A successful relationship is a partnership in which two people decide to join forces for the common good. Love making is also a partnership in which the couple work together. Making love is not what one person does to the other; rather, it is what we do for the other. There is a big difference.

Communication is at the cornerstone of every successful relationship. I urge the two of you talk to each other about this. Ask and/or inform each other what pleases you, how to go about it, what your desires might be, and so on. None of us are mind readers so you cannot expect to somehow innately know what to do or how to go about pleasuring each other specifically.

A topic I address frequently has to do with the specifics of how to stimulate each other's genitals. Each of us by now understands the basic mechanics involved in stroking a penis and fingering a clitoris; however, there is more, which is what I refer to as the "fine Art" of it all. Shortly after learning how to masturbate, each of us quickly develops into a routine that includes certain motions, rhythms, and, pressures, applied globally and/or to certain areas and hotspots. These techniques are unique and specific to each one of us, and therefore must be taught to our partner. Why? Because over time we come to rely upon this pattern of stimulation to build our excitement and pleasure and then to trigger an orgasm. If we miss the mark by very much either the orgasm will not happen or it will be less than desired.

I recommend that you ask your boyfriend to show you how he masturbates so you can see what is involved. Next, encourage him to take your hand in his and to guide your movements several times until you learn to mimic his technique. The same holds true for you with him!

If you want more information on techniques and the practice of male masturbation, I highly recommend the following website: www.jackinworld.com

You will find pages of descriptive and illustrated ways to handle a penis and to make him squirm and moan in different ways prior to helping him enjoy his climax. You can browse the site using the tabs; however, I recommend going to the "Site Map" page and following the links to Advanced Techniques.

Communication is key; and as part of this so too is feedback. It is important that each of you provide feedback to the other so that you know how s/he is responding to what is being done. Feedback can be both verbal and non-verbal. Verbal means using words or utterences to convey information; non-verbal can be some form of body language like a squeeze of the hand or a vibrating hand, or a shift in our body's position, etc., et cetera, etc., that also conveys this information as well as for what we may need--NOW!

Before any of this can or should take place, we need to go back to basics and to begin a love making session at the beginning.

Whether you recriprocate or take the lead in making out, as a couple, the two of you should devote a lot of time just kissing and caressing each other. While a guy can be ready to enjoy a climax by whatever method in a matter of minutes after having a randy thought, gals require a lot of time and preparation in order to reach this same state of readiness. What guys often fail to realize is that they also benefit greatly from all this time and effort. So, devote no less than thirty minutes--more (within reason) if time permits, to just making out. During the sexual revolution of the 1960s the various stages of making out were broken down into the following classsifications, that I still like using:

* Necking-
Kissing and caressing that is limited to activities above the shoulders
* Petting-
Making out and touching each other's body with clothes on exclusive of the breasts and genitals.
* Heavy Petting-
As above but with a progression toward undoing and then removing various articles of clothing in turn. Breast play can be included.
* Foreplay-
As above and to include the fondling and stimulation of each other's genitals.

As you might imagine, by the time a couple reaches Foreplay or gets into this activity, there will be a lot of heat, heavy breathing, and squirming going on. Please do not gloss over the importance of these activities in a rush to have orgasms. "Quickies" have their place and I'm a big fan of them, yet you will be satisfied to a much more profound state if you spend lots of time building each other's passion, excitement, anticipation, and sexual tension, first and foremost. Your kisses and caresses should be inclusive. This means that it is best to move from A to B to C, revist A & B, move on to D, revisit A, B, & C, and so on. Using this approach is a great way to build each other's excitement and anticipation.

Please do not be afraid to explore and learn together. Share information, give feedback, and take your cues for what to do from the other person's reactions.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?