[quote=neko] im having problem with my friend because she still doesnt want to have sex with me although she is giving me oral sex and i also give her oral but still she's not yet comfortable to have sex with me..
so my question is how do i make a girl comfortable enough to have sex with me? [/quote]
Your question while simple enough has a much more complex answer than do "this" and she'll want to have intercourse.
First of all, you should be asking her. It is her body, her life.
* If she is a virgin, does she want to remain chaste until marriage?
* Until she is much older?
Whether yes or no:
* Until your relationship is more mature?
* Until she finds the right guy?
* Until she is more comfortable with you, the relationship, and has developed trust and confidence in you?
* Until she is emotionally mature enough to handle any inhibitions and this new found level of intimacy?
I understand the drive and the desire to have intercourse, particularly the first time ever--or, just the first time with this person, however, it is important to know and understand that the act of intercourse is much different for women than for men. This is particularly so for young guys out on a date than for guys who have fallen in love and are planning for the long haul. For the guy out on a date it generally has more to do with getting his rocks off, first and foremost. For women anytime, it has more to do with the emotional aspect of the relationship and validating this. It is only later that guys learn that intercourse is more about the emotions and the psyche than the physical. The act is the outward expression of the love a couple has for each other.
[quote=Brandye] If you do not really care for her, forget it. The pain of being used for some guy to get his rocks off with no feeling is greater than the physical pain involved. [/quote]
I'm not saying intercourse isn't or cannot be all about feeling good for both, only that you have to know what the primary reason is each time. Brandye, our resident doctor, has stated often that an orgasm is not a necessary part of nature for the female of the species as it is for the male, therefore, she is free to enjoy them for the shear pleasure of them. That said, you need to find out from your girlfriend why she is not yet ready. In addition to the reasons given, above, is the very real fear of pregnancy and other issues that are of concern to her that might impact her health and wellbeing.
As for guys, please consider that as wonderful as intercourse can be, because it has more to do with satisfying the psyche, oral stimulation and a hand job to orgasm are usually much more physically pleasurable with sensations that are vastly more intense. So, while you may be curious about the act itself, climaxing via intercourse usually does not deliver the intense physical pleasure foreplay activities do. While you wait, please keep this in mind.
[quote] I'm just thinking that if i ejaculate inside her anus would it be okay? [/quote]
As for anal sex: you are very naive if you think she or any woman will want this the first time as a substitute for intercourse. Even if true, anal penetration is much more complex than vaginal penetration. This article is also an excellent tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal stimulation as well as play.
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing_him/19950-playing_ball_how_tips..."]"Playing Ball" and How To Tips for Prostate Massage
Forget about anal penetration so early into a relationship. In addition to the physical difficulties with the act, there are the mental aspects to consider, also.
It is better to forgo anal penetration whether or not you will be contending with the presence of a hymen. Do you know what the state of this is? If she is a virgin, do you know how best to have first intercourse?
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/sexual_health_women/11675-am_i_ready_sex..."]Am I Ready For Sex?
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/20351-birth_control_failure_rate..."]Birth Control Failure Rates
I recommend that you pull back and do not push her, rather, learn from her and then learn more about the entire process of developing a relationship and making out. Please begin by reading the various articles listed in [URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/index_sexinfo101_board_topics/22777---be..."]the Index.
[quote=KMB]I feel so happy, last night me and my boyfriend did petting over clothes. He said he wanted to have sex with me really bad. We almost did but didn't, maybe some other time when we are prepared and protected.
It felt so good to be so close to someone I love a lot. I can't wait it's soo hard I don't want to have a kid now, but I just might do it with birth control.[/quote]
If and when this time comes for anyone, please make sure that you both use a contraceptive. Look out for and protect #1--you. Do not rely upon just one form of contraception.
* Use the pill or patch along with a condom
* If using only a condom, then increase the level of protection by also using a vaginal spermicide.
Teenagers are more apt to become pregnant than at any other time of life.