Anxiety is actually quite normal, especially for oyur first time. You need to get comfortable with her and comfortable being around her naked and seeing her naked. Start foreplay, and slowly strip each other, fool around naked for a long time. Several hours just making out, running your hands over each other's bodies and eventually genital contact if it feels right. It could take several sessions of this to be comfortable. Then you need ot show her how to turn you on, if you think its strange and too early to reveal it to her (you would have to eventually in a relationship, and at a point she wouldn't care) then just show her what feels good, how she can touch you to turn you on.

[QUOTE=LastOrders;220145]What turns me on is my business but unless i open up I'm not going to get anywhere. I wont open up tho because i might freak her out and humiliate myself :o.

Ive had several girlfriends in the past 4 years and i'm just fed up of waiting for the right moment which will probably never come.

Please give me your honest opinions because I have run out of Ideas.
What should I do?[/QUOTE]

Problems:
#1. You're scared.
#2 If you're having sex with someone else, what turns you on *is* their business. If you're not comfortable enough with someone to let them help you relax and enjoy yourself, you don't really have any business having sex with them.
#3 You're putting to much pressure on yourself for it to happen.

Solution: Come to grips with who you are and what you like. Accept it and have the confidence to move forward. Be honest with her. Explain that you are a virgin. Plenty of women are actually exited at the thought of being in a relationship with a virgin, because then they get to teach you and walk you through the steps in exactly the way they like to get off Now you get to have sex, and know how she wants it without having to figure it out yourself with no experience! Being honest with her will take a huge weight off your shoulders, and allow her to help you more effectively.

Before this, read all of the stickies, and become as familiar with the act as possible. It really helps to know anatomy and where you are inside of her, and you can be more confident and less anxious with your increased knowledge.

[QUOTE=LastOrders;220145]Although I may seem it and act it, I am not normal.

Normalcy is relative. Normal as compared to whom? Ok that may be a little flippant but seriously, it's all in the eye of the beholder. IMO, if you can be happy with who you are, that's the most normal you can ask for.

I love being with girls but why am i still a virgin?
I'll tell you.

Ive been going out with a cute girl for around 2 months and our only sexual experience together was short lived (I fingered her yyyeah).
I couldn't get it up due to a massive Anxiety problem.
When i kiss her and fondle her when I know it wont lead to sex BAM! Hard as a rock. So I know its only a psycological problem.

However anxiety isnt my only problem. I get turned on by the daftest things.
I dont get turned on by the thought of sex alone. Tits are fun but they do nothing for me. What turns me on is my business but unless i open up I'm not going to get anywhere. I wont open up tho because i might freak her out and humiliate myself :o.

Slow down and take the time you need to build trust in her, and YOURSELF. With the trust will come the ability to open up about what you like. The previous poster is also correct, allow yourself to be human and like what you like. We're each different and like different things. If something surprises her to a point she can't handle it, she's not right for you anyway.

Ive had several girlfriends in the past 4 years and i'm just fed up of waiting for the right moment which will probably never come.

Wait for the right moment. It will come.

Please give me your honest opinions because I have run out of Ideas.
What should I do?[/QUOTE]

Above all else, RELAX. The more anxious you allow yourself to get about this, the harder it will be to overcome. Take the time you need to get comfortable and confident. Everyone has moments like you're describing.

Unless and until you open up with us I doubt you'll get much help. What are the "daftest things" that light your fire?

> Ive had several girlfriends in the past 4 years and i'm just fed up of waiting for the right moment which will probably never come.

The right moment for what? Telling her what these daftest things are? Having a great make out session? What?

Have you ever overheard some guy tell a friend "I got lucky last night"? The definition of "luck" is when opportunity meets preparedness. The right moment will come along when you prepare for it and make it happen by what you do beforehand.

You are a new poster, yet have you been lurking in the background thumbing through the forums and the main site? I recommend you go to the Home Page and read the many articles there, then return to the Forums and look through the Index and read the many articles listed in it.

Again I say normalcy is relative.

I think the thing you need to learn to accept is, who you are. The only one you need to compare yourself to is you. The only one you need approval of you from is you. Be who and what you are, and be content and confident about that.

Life's too short not to be happy and confident in who we are. Take me for example. I regularly flaunt my own dorkiness LOL. Or more accurately, 'I embrace and celebrate it every day-it's just who I am, and life is way too short not to be able to embrace and celebrate the real you.'

Now the next step, is to be confident ENOUGH in the real you, to be able to SHARE it with those who care about you. You get what you give, and you gotta let people in or they'll keep you at a distance too.

I think you should replace the word "normal" with "typical." Just because you do not behave like your friends do, "typically," it most certainly does not make you abnormal. Keep your chin up and be proud of who you are. The right time will come, but only after you are comfortable in your own skin.

BTW, I am 28yrs old and if I were to find myself with a man my age who was a virgin, you bet I'd be excited about it. Well, as long as he was eager to learn the ways of my body, anyway. :)

In reply to the subject of this post, if you obtain any kind of wisdom, you will come to learn that no one is normal. The world itself does not reflect anything that properly exists in the human realm. There are only various shadings of the human experience but no "normal" simpliciter.

Anyways....

Hmmm... I was a virgin at 28. Not so much a virgin at 33. Too bad we didn't meet back then Suki2007. Sigh...