[QUOTE=dave24;254549][COLOR="blue">I am new, and I was wondering If I could ask something. [/COLOR]

Of course you can. Welcome to the community. The venue operates on questions and answers and is community driven. I hope you enjoy participating.

[COLOR="blue">You see, I have recently started dating a nice woman, and she loves to have sex as much as possible with me, which is good. Thing is, I am a chronic masterbater,on days we are unable to have sex, I masterbate multiple times a day. [/COLOR]

What is behind the reason you masturbate? Do you do it for the pure and simple pleasure of it all? Do you do it to reduce or eliminate stress and pent up tension? Both? Please click on the link and read the following article. Although written for teenagers, it provides some information and insight that should prove helpful to you:

Boys and Masturbation / Got questions?

The importance of the article for you is with learning management skills. There is nothing wrong with masturbation no matter how frequently or infrequently a person does it. That said, what can be a problem is when doing it interferes with daily life and obligations. Developing and then using the management skills should be a big help to you in handling your relationship with your girlfriend.

[COLOR="blue">Also, My stamina during sex is known to last for 1-2 hours, even more, and a lot of the time I can't cum before she finishes and when she is done, we useally resort to hand jobs to get me to finish. the times i have cum during sex i can count on one hand. Is it because of the masterbation, does it prevent me from cumming as quickly during sex and should I stop so that I can cum when she does?[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Masturbating to the point of exhausting your resources so to speak will likely make it difficult to climax on demand when you really want or need to. As you know, achieving a climax during the day is usually not a problem, yet each successive one becomes more difficult to trigger until your body simply refuses to respond for several hours. It can take seventy two hours to completely recoup and regroup. Masturbating a lot can and may be a contributing factor in why you cannot climax during intercourse or foreplay; however, I'm willing to bet that the main reason is technique and communication--or the lack thereof.

Each of us learns to stimulate ourselves in the same basic way for our respective genders; however, soon after a boy learns to masturbate he quickly settles into a method of movements that are also unique and specific to him. We also benefit from an internal feedback system that permits us to make tiny mid course corrections along the way. This is missing when we turn the reins over to some else. What is necessary is to demonstrate to our partner how we masturbate and then to take her hand and guide her movements over the course of several sessions until she learns to mimic what we do when home alone. Key to this is also providing verbal and non-verbal feedback on how we are responding to her caresses and for what we need now/next. Please read the article that explains using feedback. These same skills hold true for her with you.

Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership.

A lot of fellas nowadays seem to have the misguided misconception that the best way to reach an orgasm is from lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking. WRONG! If this is what you are doing, I recommend that you do not begin intercourse until all of your making out and foreplay have brought you to the brink of an orgasm, yet not so close that you cannot shift around and get into position. Doing it this way will prolong your fun, excitement, and, anticipation, yet make it very easy to reach an orgasm within the first few strokes--or minutes. As you adopt this method, you may find it necessary to develop techniques for staving off a climax so that you do not cum until you are ready. There is an article on two methods that you should read.

Please begin your participation by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index. If you click on the site's Home page you will find even more information. The Index contains links to helpful insightful informative, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about--like yours.

Please read each of the articles as knowledge is empowering. I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

OK, I do not have a penis, thank god, so why respond? I know a little bit about how the body works and have a bit of experience dealing with those things. I have played with many more penis' than you have!

Men tend to masturbate more vigourously than the penis will be treated by any woman, especially using her vagina. Your penis has become a bit desensitized by masturbating and is, therefore, insufficiently stimulated by the more gentle clasping and rubbing by the vagina. You note that she can finish you off by hand. That is likely less vigourous stimulation than your hand but is much more so than the vagina. We rarely develop callouses in there and the mucous membrane is less abrasive than the skin of our hands.

So, the short answer is that you have, in the short term, taught yourself to respond to roughness rather than smoothness against your penis. I do not know any definitive answer. With her assistance, try some things. Such as: you lie still and let her do anything she wants using hair, air (blowing gently), breasts, pubic hair, lips, tongue and whatever she wants to stir you up into frenzy. Then, you stay still, she can take you into her. She should be looking for not only the obvious erection but the more subtle engorgement and turning purple that occurs just before ejaculation. She will learn other little signals to know when.

This will not work immediately but will train you to respond to gentler and smoother surfaces. Besides, with any imagination you two will have lots of fun retraining that thing.

Do not develop great expectations of the magical simultaneous orgasms. Rarely, very rarely, does that occur.

Uhmmmm... maybe this is a very weird idea, but I thought of it and maybe there's a truth in it... Brandy refers to perhaps being less sensitive to more smooth and gentle simulation of the vagina. Would it perhaps help if the gf did kegel-excercises: strengthening the PC-muscles? I can squeeze it so tight, that it has a solid grip on something as small as a finger. Think about the pressure this gives on a penis! And no, according to my bf, it feels good and doesn't hurt :) For the girl:it really maximizes pleasure for her as well :) as long as you have good control over these muscles. I really am not able to tell if the Kegel-exercises really strengthen them... I've only learned them for controlling (really don't know why, have had this grip as long as I can remember without exercises and from what I heard of, that's not the standard ;))

It's just an idea... maybe a bad one... Perhaps Brandy could comment on this?

There's a skeeter on your peter....whack it off! lol Just joshin'