My boyfriend and I have recently expressed the desire to spice up our sex life. Normally we are just very sweet and sensual, a lot of kissing all over, touching and caressing, fantastic oral... nice, very pleasurable, but not exactly dirty. The only thing is I'm not exactly sure what he would be into. When I asked him what he would like the most, he said a threesome. Although I'm not totally opposed to the idea, I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet. I told him I was interested in being lightly tied and blindfolded and then the last time I visited him he surprised me with ropes and a blindfold. It was amazing and I thought quite sweet of him. Now I want to surprise him in the same way, only I'm short on ideas since the only thing I know he definitely wants, I'm not quite ready to do. I know he isn't into anything super freaky, but he also mentioned being open to other things (he just didn't bother to mention any specifically), so I just need some ideas as to what a nice surprise might be for a guy. Any suggestions? all thoughts are welcome and appreciated!
Sun, 08/17/2008 - 05:37
#1
Ideas for surprising my guy
> I was interested in being lightly tied and blindfolded and then the last time I visited him he surprised me with ropes and a blindfold. It was amazing and I thought quite sweet of him. Now I want to surprise him in the same way, only I'm short on ideas
What is good for the goose can be good for the gander. Tie him up and have your way with him.
Being tied, lightly or not, has to have some rules as with all aspects of play. The two of you must absolutely have a "safe word" in place so that one or the other of you has an out if need be. The word is something that is not used in everyday conversation so that when it is uttered all activities [COLOR="Red">STOP[/COLOR] immediately no questions asked.
Secondly, much of what you do like spanking, etc. is illusionary meaning that the punches or slaps are pulled so that you do not actually hurt the person yet give the illusion of force. Its play acting just like in the movies. Speaking of which, one of the strongest feelings of being out of control was a scene in an old Dirty Harry movie in which Harry was tied to a straight back wooden chair (Captains dining room chair) while this vixen of a woman had her way with him and he was powerless unable to keep from responding to her touches yet wanting his body and mind not to react. Can you imagine how frustrating, aggravating, and maddening this can be yet feeling so good, also? You might want to give this a try. Even though he will be a willing participant, he might very well experience some of those same feelings of being out of control of the situation yet enjoying the experience none the less.
> I asked him what he would like the most, he said a threesome. Although I'm not totally opposed to the idea, I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet.
Please do a search of this site using the term "threesome" and see what pops up. I can tell you that this is a fantasy that many guys have, although, in reality it can ruin a relationship. I absolutely do not recommend following through on this. * Perhaps a better approach is again, play acting in which one or the other of you take on the character of a third person. Sure, it will be a twosome and not a threesome, yet by playing the character and actions of a third person a variety of new and different activities can be introduced in safety that might not otherwise be done simply do to normal inhibitions.
If you have a sexy negligee, wear it. Stand seductively in the doorway and talk to him as if you are another woman and then proceed under this guise.
If you have been wondering about participating in a certain act yet are unsure or uncomfortable with the idea, now is the time to experiment. One such activity is anal play (not intercourse). Please read the Sticky article on this subject that can be found in the Index. Anal play consists of caressing the very sensitive nerve endings on the outside of the anus and proceeding to prostate massage. These activities should be introduced only after he has become very highly aroused. It is then that these nerve endings turn on and he looses his inhibitions.
* A threesome may sound innocent enough, yet what people fail to realize and take into account are the resulting upheaval of emotions that often result after the fact. "Did you like her/him better than me." "I wonder if...." "I wonder, or what if s/he likes them better than me?" What if the other person talks or gossips to others about what we did? And the list goes on.
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please read the many articles listed in the Index and do not hesitate to pose any questions you might have.
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Thanks for the info doc. I know exactly what you mean about threesomes ruining a relationship, that is what is preventing me from doing it. I don't think I could help being insecure about it. It would take a very particular kind of relationship with the third person that I don't really think is possible.
I like the Dirty Harry scene you mentioned! I think he would probably enjoy it very much, and be surprised as something like that is quite unlike me. And yes, we do have a safe word for practical safety purposes, but we have discussed that neither of us are into anything too hardcore, like heavy bondage, or especially hitting and the like. Your point that its meant to be illusionary is particularly relevant to us, in that I think we are both averse to it simply because it sounds brutal but thinking about it as not actually causing pain, just doing something out of the ordinary to give pleasure makes me feel more open minded to trying new things.
On the note of playing a character, the idea of role playing has always made me feel kind of silly while also being appealing, but I was thinking that when Halloween rolls around that might be a good time to give it a try. We are both really into dressing up for halloween so I could do something that might also make a good character for the bedroom (I don't mean dressing as something slutty in itself, but perhaps something that is somewhat sexy but thats even sexier as its taken off). I think already being dressed up will help me feel more comfortable about it.
Thanks again for the info, advice and nice welcome!
As one who has participated in 3-somes, 4-somes, more-somes I can tell you that they do not, of necessity, ruin relationships IF EVERYONE IS ADULT ABOUT IT. No insecurities, no asking silly questions "Do you like her better than me?" etc. The fact is no, he didn't - she's DIFFERENT and that does not mean better or worse - just different. Same thing for you when you try an MFM. The extra man is just different as each person has their own style and skills and configurations.
If you tend to be jealous or possessive "he's mine! back off, bitch!" then forget 3-somes entirely.
As to the rest of your questions go here and read: www.wickedwomangroup.us
Glad to know that 3-somes aren't just a fantasy that ends up going wrong for everybody.. its still a possibility for us, but I still have a lot of thinking about it and checking my insecurities before hand. So I dunno..maybe it will happen, maybe not
But until then.. that is a fantastic website you linked. Its definitely got the creative wheels turning, as well as providing some good practical information. Thanks so much :D