Welcome to Chick Chat! Here, we chicks can get it on with some sense of privacy addresing our specific concerns. Eavesdropping men may learn a little, too. I chose the first topic because it should be one of the first acts of your sex life - the dreaded "internal" which is really no big deal. It is too bad that too many mothers were roughly or insensitively treated their first exam and the old wives tales die hard.

We will allow this topic to cook for a while. Please post your experiences because the only internals I experience from the patients' side are my own. Certainly others of you have a different angle on things. As the questions die down, I have already prepared the next topic: "Am I ready?" By then, we should have several requested ideas.

There will be a guest moderator from time-to-time. Eva, my partner, is a nurse midwife and knows at least as much as I on the topics that will come up. In real life, I defer to her expertise and will do as much here. She is a mother and can add some experience that I have not had - pregnancy and child-birth.

This will be fun for all of us!

just a coupla thoughts ..

"am i ready?" sounds like a good next topic. would this include dealing with peer pressure to give in?

then how about "how to decide on the best method of birth control?"

This sounds like the perfect place to address issues facing older women. Specifically, I have been searching for information or advice regarding a Women's Sexual Prime. As an older woman, I am now experiencing my "prime time" and would like to know how long this phase is expected to last...my husband isn't very attentive to my sexual craving for frequency, which frustrates me. Also, I've considered that maybe he's feeling depressed that he can't satisfy me??, because I want/crave sex so often. So, there are also psychological issues concerning this issue for both partners.

Thank you, Jewel and yippi. Two great ideas. After we let this pelvic exam issue cook for another weeek I shall put up "Am I ready" followed by choosing birth control and age issues, perhaps concurrently. While all can learn, those more interested in the age related issues have already resolved the contraception issues.

Hugs to both

Right on Brandye, what a wonderful wonderful idea!
I'm very excited:)
Maybe at some point, the flux in a womans sex drive could be discussed (what to expect at what level of life).
Keep up the good work:)

Hey Brandye! I have value your knowledge and experience on this board so much and am happy to see that you have your own space! I think a good topic to disguss would be--if you have knowledge about it--polycystic ovarian syndrome. I was diagnosed with PCOS last month and if it wasn't for an article in a woman's magazine that my mom read about, we would have had no idea that this is what was wrong with me. One reason why I'm so interested in this is not only because I've got it, but because (I've read) about 10% of women have it and don't realize they have it until it is too late--like when they are trying to conceive and are unable to. I think more women should be aware of this syndrome because it can have some very bad effects if it goes untreated. Thanks so much!

Kricky,

You just accomplished what you wanted!! The two key elements of your post are how unknown some conditions are and, worse, how unhelpful the medical profession is when they offer a diagnosis. WebMD has an adequate section and there is an international PCOS association.

PCOS is present, we think, in about ten percent of women. Beyond that we do not know a whole lot. There seems to be a genetic connection. That is there is a weak to moderate statistical relationship between sisters and mothers-daughters. There is a hormonal imbalance but some experts say the imbalance is the cause, others say it is the result. It is considered to be an endocrinal condition which argues for either side and points out the need for a specialist in endocrinology.

I have encountered very few cases and referred them on when I developed suspicions. As my above lament indicates, these women came back to me for more information because the consultant did little more than diagnose. There are recent articles in the professional literature regarding obesity and PCOS and, especially, the likelihood of heart disease in women with PCOS.

If you live in a large city, your doctor can point you to some education and centers where more can be found. If you live in a more isolated area, you are lucky if the nurses can pronounce it. Joining the society could be very helpful in providing you with facts.

This is an "orphan disease." Not much is known and not much is being done beyond basic research. I suspect in a few weeks you will know more than I but please do follow up on the obesity relationship and heart disease. I am not suggesting that you are fat but knowing these relationships can suggest to you some self-preventative measures. The heart disease is most likely to show up in your thirties - earlier than for most women who do have heart problems.

HUGS

Thanks Brandye!

I do already know a lot about PCOS so this post was more for the benefit of other women who have no idea what PCOS is. then for myself. There are many good sites out there that have good info on this, like soulcysters.com, so I'm glad for the internet!! I think, though, that a list of the symptoms here would be nice for other women that are curious, so I copied a list from that site. Women with PCOS may have the following symptoms:

Amenorrhea (no menstrual period), infrequent menses, and/or oligomenorrhea (irregular bleeding) — Cycles are often greater than six weeks in length, with eight or fewer periods in a year. Irregular bleeding may include lengthy bleeding episodes, scant or heavy periods, or frequent spotting.

Oligo or anovulation (infrequent or absent ovulation) — While women with PCOS produce follicles — which are fluid-filled sacs on the ovary that contain an egg — the follicles often do not mature and release as needed for ovulation. It is these immature follicles that create the cysts.

Hyperandrogenism — Increased serum levels of male hormones. Specifically, testosterone, androstenedione, and dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate (DHEAS).

Infertility — Infertility is the inability to get pregnant within six to 12 months of unprotected intercourse, depending on age. With PCOS, infertility is usually due to ovulatory dysfunction.

Cystic ovaries — Classic PCOS ovaries have a "string of pearls" or "pearl necklace" appearance with many cysts (fluid-filled sacs). It is difficult to diagnose PCOS without the presence of some cysts or ovarian enlargement, but sometimes more subtle alterations may not have been recorded, or are not recognized as abnormal, by the ultrasonographer.

Enlarged ovaries — Polycystic ovaries are usually 1.5 to 3 times larger than normal.

Chronic pelvic pain — The exact cause of this pain isn't known, but it may be due to enlarged ovaries leading to pelvic crowding. It is considered chronic when it has been noted for greater than six months.

Obesity or weight gain — Commonly a woman with PCOS will have what is called an apple figure where excess weight is concentrated heavily in the abdomen, similar to the way men often gain weight, with comparatively narrower arms and legs. The hip:waist ratio is smaller than on a pear-shaped woman — meaning there is less difference between hip and waist measurements. It should be noted that most, but not all, women with PCOS are overweight.

Insulin resistance, hyperinsulinemia, and diabetes — Insulin resistance is a condition where the body's use of insulin is inefficient. It is usually accompanied by compensatory hyperinsulinemia — an over-production of insulin. Both conditions often occur with normal glucose levels, and may be a precursor to diabetes, in which glucose intolerance is further decreased and blood glucose levels may also be elevated.

Dyslipidemia (lipid abnormalities) — Some women with PCOS have elevated LDL and reduced HDL cholesterol levels, as well as high triglycerides.

Hypertension (high blood pressure) — Blood pressure readings over 140/90.

Hirsutism (excess hair) — Excess hair growth such as on the face, chest, abdomen, thumbs, or toes.

Alopecia (male-pattern baldness or thinning hair) — The balding is more common on the top of the head than at the temples.

Acne/Oily Skin/Seborrhea — Oil production is stimulated by overproduction of androgens. Seborrhea is dandruff — flaking skin on the scalp caused by excess oil.

Acanthosis nigricans (dark patches of skin, tan to dark brown/black) — Most commonly on the back of the neck, but also but also in skin creases under arms, breasts, and between thighs, occasionally on the hands, elbows and knees. The darkened skin is usually velvety or rough to the touch.

Acrochordons (skin tags) — Tiny flaps (tags) of skin that usually cause no symptoms unless irritated by rubbing.

It took me 4 years to get diagnosed with PCOS and many other women have been trying much longer then I have to have a dr. tell them what's wrong with them. Luckily I do live in a big town and have many drs. to pick from, and went through 2 ob/gyns and an endocrinologist (who was known for his research on PCOS) before I was diagnosed. It's a frusterating and nasty thing to have to go through, and I just wanted to share with other women who may be going through the horrible symptoms and have no idea why their body is doing so.

Sorry this is kinda long, but I guess I'm getting up on my soap box here Hopefully this will help someone!!!!

And oh....about the obesiety, most of the women (including me) are overweight. I will have to watch for the heart disease, and am also concerned for the onset of diabetes. Since there is the insulin resistance with PCOS, many women do get diabetes. Both my grandfather and uncle have diabetes, and along with me being overweight, puts me at high risk for getting it Hopefully that won't happen....

thanks again....

Kricky,

Thank you. This is exactly the kind of dialogue we want. Things that are specific to women and allow us all to educate one another. Please do not go too hard on your doctors. With any of the orphan diseases, we see few cases in our entire careers. There are many diseases that are only textbook entries for me.

I am glad you stayed with it and hope that your primary care physicians were helpful. Mostly I am glad that you have chosen to share. I am prevented from being too specific bby professional guidelines and many doctors wory that every time someone reads new symptoms, they decide thay have that disease. Well, OK, I sometimes feel that way.

One woman helping another figure out what her strange symptoms are about is a great service of the internet.

Hugs

Neither your boyfriend nor anyone else can cause you to have an orgasm. They can do some interesting things but you have your own orgasm. Changing your thinking can help.

Masturbation is the best way to learn what an orgasm is and what sets you off. What fantasy? What touching? What pressure? and so on.

Many women have their first orgasms with a vibrator. Though I rarely use one, my girlfriend does. I suspect that most women at this board own one or at least use one from time to time. They are great aids. I prefer my own fingers.

I would really appreciate some advice on having an orgasm! No matter what my boyfriend tries nothing happens. He has had 3 other girl friends and has NEVER had a problem making them climax. But I have NEVER had one!! It's so depressing and frustrating. Any Help ANYONE has will be much appreciated!

Susanna,

As women approach menopause, sex frequently becomes a higher prioity. Your increased sex urge can be related to early changes in the hormones in your body. They can have the opposite effect as well depending upon the woman. You may find that the urge goes up and down.

As for adding variety, that seems to have a psychological rather than a physiological basis. You have been doing the same things, mostly, with the same guy, mostly, for twenty years or so. A little variety is indicated. I applaud your desire to keep it within the marriage. I have never been married nor had a really long relationship. This will require his shared interest and participation. Talk with him and see if he will explore with you. You may even want to seek out some sensuality/sexuality workshops where there is some good guidance and suggestion about what works and what does not in an established relationship. Sure is better than finding a toy boy who has to be hidden.

I had a woman, your age, in my office a few weeks ago. Married a bit over twenty years; generally faithful (she did have an early fling); kids now all gone; boring job; early signs of the onset of menopause. Horny as hell and her husband was not cooperating. You are in a life stage when the click ticks faster, you are less fearful of relationships and bored with what you have.

The woman I described has taken up, on the side, with another woman in a similar situation. No, I did not recommend this. What can be safer? Two married women with grown children spending time together is quite acceptable. Suspecting my bi-sexuality she seemed comfortable disclosing this. Your feelings are very common. Accommodating them is highly individual. If the light bondage as you describe is your desire, get your husband interested by simply doing it and then encouraging him to reciprocate. Surely, he could use a little spice as well.

The very few complete lesbians in this community do get together and share fantasies. I believe this has been done by them and some liked it and some not. It is not at all uncommon in the heterosexual community. It does not have to be leather and lates but simple velvet ribbons can accomplish much.

Other than mild analgesics for mild cramps, and diuretics to control water retention, we move on to using "the pill." I am not in a hurry to put a younger woman on the pill but if she is sexually active anyway, that is the preferred treatment for difficult periods.

Other hormonal methods of birth control (patch, ring, shot) have some effects but not as much as the pill. For serious amenorrhea, stronger dosages are sometimes used than are found in normal contraceptive pills.

I'm also pretty new to the site.

I have a question about PMS... How do some of you girl relieve BAD cramps? I noticed that sometime citrusy fruits (oranges, grapefruit, etc) help. Other times just chilling (kinda in doggy style position) but not having sex... (to let my uteris hang there and relax) unfortunately my cramps are getting worse and my periods are a bit more heavy then before and I was wondering if anybody had advice (please don't tell me heating pads and midol)

I hate taking medicine if it isn't necessary because of some past health issues that had me taking over 15 pills a day.

ALSO::: I caught my fiance cheating (online) and so the wedding is off. I do want to try to work things out and was wondering if anybody had advice as of how to do so. (Please don't tell me to leave him because I don't want to resort to that) I just need some advice as to how we can build the trust back up. (I've never had to deal with this before because I've never loved anybody this much.

MissBlush

(if you want email your reply to [email="alinker05@yahoo.com">alinker05@yahoo.com[/email] )

Brandye,
This forum is a great idea! I have so many female issues I would love to talk over with other women! Only wish it could be face to face, but this is better than nothing.
I am 44 and in the last 3 years have experienced an explosion in my sexual drive! Is this normal at my age? I far exceed my husband in the drive department.....and I want so badly to try some things that are out of our normal repertoire...like a bit of light bondage, sounds like so much fun to me, but he feels embarassed talking about it. Talking online to others that are open to fun sexual play has helped a little with satisfaction....but now I am afraid my appetite is getting stronger. I am afraid I will do something stupid and look outside my marraige for satisfaction if I get desperate enough.
Is it okay to explore fantasies safely with a friend, male or female? I just wanna feel the tightness of being bound so badly.

Responded at your other post

Hi Brandye,
i'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this post but i have a tilted cervix which is causing me to tear during sex. it's painful and frustrating to have to stop when both my boyfriend and myself want to go on.

i avoid certain positions but it still happens. is there any advice you could give me?

Well lets see i been read every one issued and i thought i would say something sinced i am a female. I am 27 i can not have no more childern. I have three now, after having my third child i started have what they called irregalur bleeding i still have my tubes but every thing elsed is gone. But have sex at young age depends on you when you wanted to have it. Men likes to push women into sex when they are not ready and i for one think more women need to stand there gorund and let them know that we are not going to take it.I think if men can not understand that you are going through a changed and you are not wanted sex do not have it but also explained it in a way he can understand. Me i went through a stage where i did not give my husband no sex for 6 months cause i refussed, for what reason that what i do not know. But you know what you wanted in life and you go for it. :laugh:

Hey!
I'm new to the site and I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I'm very interested...
I'm 19 and I have almost complete vaginal insensitivity; my boyfriend's equipment isn't small or anything, but I can't tell when it's in me and when it's not. I don't feel anything during sex, and when he performs manual stimulation I get nothing from the G-Spot either. I've even tried vibrators and masturbation and I've never had an orgasm. I'm very comfortable with my body.
Is this a normal thing? I would like more information as I'm unable to find any so far. If someone could please E-mail replies to [email="Tuesday_G@hotmail.com">Tuesday_G@hotmail.com[/email] as I don't get to go on this site too often...
Thanks!

well, wondering if any others can offer their thoughts or experience or hearsay advice on this. im 45 and ultrasound just showed another ovarian cyst and that, along with heavy periods and frequent periods doc and ive decided to discuss surgical options. so - just take it all and be done or take overes or jut cysts r.... then, vaginal or laprscopic???? how long hosp stay, how long before we can have sex afterwards, how long recupe...??? also, im a smoker family history of stroke so - what about hormone replacement or herbal or.....????
risks to surgery? questions i should ask? sex drive improve afterwards? ... just looking for all advice and input i can get so i will feel better educated on things for better undrstanding and so not to make informed decisions and ....
thanks in advance

There is a Golden Post on this from long ago. Let's deal with some conceptions and misconceptions. There is no general agreement that the G-Spot exists. Anatomically, it does not exist but many women report similar reaction to stimulation, usually by finger, of the spot on the front side of the vagina a bit above the pubic bone. There are tons of sites that advocate and give great testimony on the wonders of the G-Spot and female ejaculation - another controversial topic.

The G-Spot does not "develop." It is, possibly, a spot where underlying tissue, especially a ligament that runs along there, being manipulated causes stimulation. Another explanation is that it stimulates the urethra as well and this eventually becomes very stimulating. I do not believe the G-Spot actually exists but I am glad mine has been found!!

With a man, it has never worked. My girlfriend and I (both medical professionals) spent hours, on many occasions, trying to convince ourselves the G-Spot did or did not exist. We each leapt up frequently to run to pee. A few drops, usually. The G-Spot is a sophisticated concept that requires patience, skill and not a little faith to find. See the thread in the Golden Posts.

I have NO idea where to post this, but I figured a woman, or a girl, or someone of the female status could answer this question. Plus, it may give someone a good idea for a topic such as the topic somone mentioned of what to expect sexually at different points in a lifetime.

So here goes my question: when does the "g-spot" develop? My boyfriend of 18 months and I have only as of the last two months engaged in intercourse, and have a pretty good sexual relationship, mainly due to our openness and closeness with one another, which I strongly encourage for all couples ("successful" meaning orgasms for both at least 80% of the time). However, neither of us are all that sure that my g-spot has developed. I am 17 and will be 18 in September. What other factors come into play for when a g-spot develops? Or maybe he just hasn't been able to find mine...

I could use any information on this possible... either post it or email me at [email="ktbabe3724@netscape.net.">ktbabe3724@netscape.net.[/email] I greatly appreciate all of you who have ideas, concerns, questions, answers, and comments and are willing to share them. This website has helped me out an incredible amount, as I, like too many, am not in a situation where I have resources I can simply ask these types of questions.

Thank you to all and keep up the openness about sex!

Maybe you could do a topic on breakups. That way, girls will be able to share their feelings about what might have happened to them.

a topic for.. this part could be.. sex while preg.. that would be interesting cause.. i've always wonderd how they managed LOL big belly and all.

jamie

ok i have.. one thing... about pregnancy.. Well alright.. for the women who have had a baby, or.. are about to... my question is.. DID YOU KNOW?before hand? like felt it was gona happen? and.. if you did. .how did you deal with that...?even though you were... a month or 2 a head of when it was gonna happen.. *you were aware a month or so before it happend*..

Hi... I'm new to this site, and I think it's really wonderful! I am also interested in a dialogue about age and sex drive. I am thirty years old, and thinking this is how 17-18 year old boys feel! lol Am I the only one going through this? I have never had a strong sex drive, and I'm not sure how to deal with it because I have just never thought about it that much.

I have a curiosity, that may be related to the topic of PCOS or not.

I am fairly certain that this is what my mother had, as she had an almost complete Hysterectomy a few years ago to relieve some very bad symptoms. (They only left one ovary, making her PMS half the time and slip into menopause the other half )

Anway, is it possible that this disease can be passed from mother to daughter?

I want to have a child someday (I'm only 16 right now). But my mother had to have me when she was fairly young (25-6,I think) according to the doctor, or she couldn't have children. I am an only child because the doctor warned against my mother bearing any other children.

Maybe PMS and Periods...unless that falls under pregnancy. Umm...I posted this in New to Sex, but no one has replied: How do you get in touch with your sexuality?

I suggest this because so many girls are brought up to think that sex is dirty and they are dirty. Its kinda like, what makes you feel sexy? masturbation is normal, and you are beautiful the way you are. Something like that. Hope thats a good idea.

I too suffer from PCOS. I think that an reproductive forum, or infertility fourm would be helpful and supportive.

Suggetion that another fourm could be for persons with children, and or persons with disabled children.

I think that it is wonderful that this is about women and we should have all types of topics to support and help one another.

Great idea ladies!

female masturbation would be awesome...i need some tippppps

Hello Brandye, I'm, 25 and a new born to the site. Take heed for my mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone. I apologize if this is the wrong thread. I'm still viewing the site.

My question is, well, it's more of a phobia I suppose. I don't like semen. I can't stand it. It bothers me to see it, taste it or have it on me. My boyfriend, of five years, knows this and has been very patient with me. But I feel bad that I'm not like "other women" who are into that sort of thing. Giving oral sex to him isn't that bad but I just don't like doing it. I do give it to him on occasion and I do read sex guides and I try to get over it but I can't bring myself to *cringe* swallow, or have it on my face.
It's to the point where I have a neck down policy. As long as stays from the neck down I'm all right, for a minute, but if not I freak out and immediately grab a towel cleaning myself off. It's like kyrptonite to superman.

This is frustrating to both me and him. He has no problems pleasing me orally. When I asked he said he liked it. I've even told him that since I don't give him oral pleasure that he didn't have to give me any. I want to please him, I want to make him happy but I feel like a failure at being a woman. I had a molar pregnancy at 22 and was told by the doctors that having a child later maybe risky. So I feel that I have a big scarlet letter of 4F on me for that fiasco and then I add on my semen phobia. Am I in the wrong for having this phobia? oO I am I the only one? Is there anything I can do about it?

Thank you, Identicalsnow. aka I.D.

I apologize for this I just found my answer I believe in the Pleasing Him section. If you would be so kind you may delete this post. Thank you ever so much. Identicalsnow

You would not believe some of the descriptions of "that yukky stuff" I hear in my office! First, I, personally, do not like the taste, smell or consisteny of semen. Second, an active sex life, with male partners, means we need to deal with it. I always keep finger towels on the bedside table and have learned that the benefits of performing oral outweight the short term terrible taste.

I do not know whether a sex therapist or a therapist who deals with phobias would help more. There are some wild phobias out there and you need not be apologetic for this. With proper guidance, you can overcome the phobic response. Once I learned what pleasure I was giving and what I got in return, I learned to tolerate it. Not an acquired taste so much as a quid pro quo. Like most women, I have had it end up just about everywhere - that is part of our being the ones responsible for extracting it from the male body.

I suggest you talk with someone - therapist, girlfriend, whomever. The stuff is really nothing to be afraid of and it washes easily.

QUOTE: The stuff is really nothing to be afraid of and it washes easily.[/QUOTE]

But it WILL stain clothing, sheets, and mattresses.

If you leave it there...just like anything else.

I haven't seen it on here (unless it has a name I'm not familiar with) but is it possible, Brandye to address the topic of endometriosis? I'm lucky that my spouse is very supportive of mine and everything I'm going through with it, but some others aren't so lucky. And as I've experienced, it's very difficult to detect and diagnose. Perhaps your expertise will help others with this issue.

Also menopause can't be overlooked.

While I've heard that it can prevent implantation of a fertilized ovum, especially if the woman who has it is over 30, I've never heard that it affects sexual desire/experience. Menopause seems to affect sexual desire/experience either physically or psychologically or both. The hormonal changes seem to make some women desire sex more, but causes others to desire it less.

I remember a friend telling me about her mother (who had birthed 5 children): Her mother reputedly said that she had always enjoyed sex during her marriage but after menopause "felt nothing, wanted none of it". It became a big issue in her parents marriage. Since the kids were all out of the house, her Dad was ready to rock n' roll, while her mother moved out of their bedroom into one of the kids old rooms and fixed it up to suit herself. Then she started going out with friends and enjoying activities she hadn't had time for while bringing up 5 kids. At that time there weren't any of these "boost your libido" medications that are popular now. I don't know if she would have taken them anyway. Some of it sounded psychological to me. I think she wanted to live a different kind of life after 40 odd years of meeting the needs of husband and children.

The body to mind equation can be enigmatic. And certainly different from woman to woman.

Ovarian Cancer is something that a lot of women assume is looked for with their yearly Pap, But what many dont know is that it is not!

I'm from Canada and am involved with the Run for Ovarian Cancer in London Ontario, where many of the women involved have been diagnosed with this disease, and some have tragically passed since the run's inception.

This is somethign i think alot of peopel are ignorant about. It's called the disease that wispers, becasue by the time its detected, its already too late.

some things every woman should know....

Canadian Facts about Ovarian Cancer

* Every year 2,500 women will be diagnosed in Canada with Ovarian Cancer.
* Each year 1,500 women die from ovarian cancer in Canada
* Ovarian cancer is a serious disease with no early detection test, most women are unfortunately diagnosed in the later stages of the disease and 60% of them will not survive past four years.
* Even though the statistics surrounding the disease are bleak, the good news is that when it is diagnosed in the earliest stages, the long-term survival rate is 90%. Education and awareness are the best tools we have for improving survival by alerting women to the signs and symptoms of the disease.

Symptoms:

* Vague but persistent gas, nausea, indigestion, constipation, or diarrhea
* Abdominal bloating, feeling of fullness, or pain
* Frequen or urgent urination
* Menstrual disorders, pain during intercourse
* Fatique, backaches
* Weight gain or loss
* Abdominal distention

Risk Factors:

Some of the risk factors linked to Ovarian Cancer include:

* Personal or family history of breast, ovarian, endometrial, prostate, or colon cancer.
* Hereditary nonpolyposis colorectal cancer or syndrome.
* Increasing age
* Unexplained infertility, no pregnancies, and no history of birth control pill usage
* Use of high-dose estrogen for long periods without progesterone may be a risk factor
* North American or Northern European heritage and/or Ashkenazi Jewish population
* Living in an industrialized country.

TAKE ACTION If any symptom lasts more than 2 weeks!

Screening for ovarian cancer includes a combination pelvic/rectal exam, a CA-125 blood test, and a transvaginal sonogram.

Note: Pap smears DO NOT detect ovarian cancer.

Info taken from www.runforovariancancer.ca

Wonderful post!!! This is to bump it up and make it more noticeable.

I looked around and I was wondering if there is a good way to start talking about sex and the future with my best guy friend who will hopefully be more soon.

Yes, K.

How long have the two of you been dating?

What are you doing now as far as kissing, necking, petting, and just generally making out?

My recommendation is to read through the Index and begin reading the articles that discuss kissing and caressing, the gentle art of making out, am I ready for sex, contraception (his, yours, ours), first. This will get the two of you started if you have not already, and, it will give you ideas for keeping thing progressing well.

If by "sex" you mean intercourse, what is the hurry? Many people do not have intercourse until well into their twenties. There is much the two of you can do to feel loved and make each other feel good that can be more intense than intercourse. Think foreplay. Also, if you have yet to make the transition to an orgasmic woman, I recommend working on learning how to have orgasms. There are a couple of articles listed in the Index on this aspect of your life and relationship, also.

After making out for a few months, if the time seems right to go further, then bring the subject up at a time when the two of you are not about to become intimate. You can then have a discussion about birth control (his need to wear a condom or it's a deal breaker, and your need to be on the pill or some other highly reliable form of contraception or the very least to use a spermicide), chances of pregnancy and what each of you will do if it occurs, etc., et cetera, etc. Once you come up with a plan, are on a plan, then you can work on plugging P into V, not before.

As for talking about the future and any plans, at this stage of the game, I'd recommend just keeping the conversation very loose with "what if" or "I'd like" sorts of topics and then see what he picks up on and where the conversation goes. Please keep in mind that at this point, he is probably no where near being on the same page as you and probably has not even thought about much of this so you cannot hold him to anything serious; mainly you should just be sharing interests and ideas than creating a make or break set of questions and answers.

P.S.
> I voted for Missonary

With regard to your vote in the poll, it is generally accepted that the Woman Superior position is ideal for first time intercourse. Much has been written about this and why, and I have broken it down reason by reason in more than one post.

KMB:

I know your feeling not great right now...recall I said hold off on the marriage & kids issue???? This guy is not ready! Nor should he be; seriously, I think he is running from you. Did you go to your Mom???

Yeah we have actually been dating 2 years and last Saturday was the first time we actually talked about our future I felt good talking about it but I might as wait a little longer like till I'm 21 or later.

Sera: yeah I know I said we could talk about it not actually get married and have kids yet. Like plan although it is pretty bad time.

[quote=KMB;204513]Yeah we have actually been dating 2 years and last Saturday was the first time we actually talked about our future I felt good talking about it but I might as wait a little longer like till I'm 21 or later.

Sera: yeah I know I said we could talk about it not actually get married and have kids yet. Like plan although it is pretty bad time.[/quote] Please take the time to chat with your mom....:)

I did talk to her about problems with my relationship with Tim.

He's my friend who I want to be with.

I want to have sex with him I will be on birth control and pay attention. First I want to talk to him about it.

I hate being young at least I have a couple years till I'm at the righta age.

Men slow down ,there sex drive drops , what can a man do in his 60s or older ,to please his wife will she still love cunnilingus at that age ,hate to think i would lose that ,as well as sex drive like to be able to please her at any age even if intercourse is least frequent ,still have tongue will she still enjoy it

Talk about wet pussy.