Ok, so I am new to this website, and boy am I glad that I found it. Ok, so I have a long story, but I will try n cut it down. First, some background. I met this guy through a friend......like 4 yrs. ago we went to World's of Fun hit it off really well. Were I guess friends with benefits.....we made out all the time ect. We dated for like 8 months, our relationship was pretty serious. We broke up , got back together after like one day, then we weren't techniqually together, but we fooled around. Then, we offically broke up. He broke my heart ect. He sleeps with another girl, gets her pregnant.....I graduate go to college....ect.....they have a kid. They are not together......he doesn't love her, or so he says. The girl he slept with leaves in the same town as me. Little town, hick like ect. He lives in the city, they are not together.
Meanwhile we have always talked. We text, call anyways been really close. It has been so hard on me too! It effects me, to be honest. I have been terrified I guess u would say because of the crap he put me through. Now after 2 yrs. of not talking to each other face to face he calls up, asks me to come over to his new place. I am a little undecided at first, but I decided too. We talk , just casual.....we discuss stuff that happened in the past, he apoligized ect. Now, the downside of this long story.....n yes, I am sorry for those of u who are reading this I slept with him. I still have feelings for him.....I think he does for me as well. I can't really explain this mess.
After this happened though he called me n waited me to come over all the time. I was like I work n go to college.....so forth I can't be driving there all the time. I work in the same town as he lives so I always see him then. Ok, but then all of a sudden he goes on this depression phase.
He says his ex-gf won't let him see his kid....ect. he isn't showing up to his job.....he says he is depressed all the time. I haven't seen him since we slept together.....he always tell me he needs to be alone......how do I deal with this......what do I do.....besides be nice n send him notes as to enjoy ur day...or I hope ur doing alright. Basically , just checkin up on him, n it's not the annoying check up.......he wants me to check up with him. Oh, n to throw u all for a loop I was setting in a car with him n he told me something.....something that devestated me.....something that is really bothering me.........n in this case all I have done is think about it......it is literally driving me crazy......n I can't tell anyone about it. I don't know if it is safe to be with him now..............this sounds totally stupid...........I'm not dumb, yes, I am aware of my surrounds, I know it's not safe to be around him, but I luv him. What the HECK do I do? Why the hell did I sleep with him.....is it cool to be serious with someone who has a kid? How do u know if he is over his ex? How do u know if he is useing u? I mean because it's not like he is blowing me off, it's depression....n he is on anti-depressants, those could be affecting him. Can anyone help?
Thu, 04/05/2007 - 18:27
#1
I will address this as HELP! lol!
Skip the kid and the ex part. You said it's not safe b/c of what he told you he did. On the phone (with a tape recorder) tell him not to contact you again. Change your phone number, change your license plates and get away from him. You slept w/him, okay, now get away FAR AWAY. If he bothers you keep a record and go to the police. NO contact with him.
Rule is generally if someone is suicidal they are also homicidal...In case this part of what he said to you.
Neither one of you is very mature or responsible. Read Sera's post, again, and place her words into action.
As for all the strife, turmoil, and drama, all this is causing you, why continue? Your job is to get through college and make a life for yourself with what you have learned todate. Date a lot of guys for a few years, none seriously, in order to learn what humanity has to offer. The more people you learn about, the better able you will be to make a good decision when it comes time to select a life partner.
Casual dating lets you have a social life while also learning about people.
Casual dating removes the stress and drama from your life that no one going to school needs to have on their plate for the time being.
Doc...
I agree with you and find a common denominator in many threads which goes like this; "What do I do to prevent loosing my gf/bf, or I am so afraid of him/her leaving me" . Many posters are so young and are not experiencing dating various people at the same time. A long term relationship should develop over time and only after dating as many different people as you can. Then and only, then can a person make an informed decision as to what type of person is best for them! If you don't experience life, you wind up making bad choices since you have limited your experiences. Perhaps this is part of the cause of high divorce rates.
And to the OP, this guy is really bad news...
well if this whatever is so terrible i suggest you get away from him you havn't exactly a great history, meet other people and forget him, I can't see what he is depressed about
He is using you; his relationship with the mother of his child is not your concern. Do what Sera said, and if he tries this again, get a restraining order.
this man sounds to me like hes not right in the head/junkie.
I ment to post something here but i posted it in wrong topic and it wasn't too pretty lol :(
whatever you do dont get involved with that, you dont want to be dragged in and dragged down, you have your own life.