Before you even go there with him, you have to know what makes you orgasm...try experimenting on your own first and see what does it for you, then convey this to your partner....

Also, do some reading around this site, there are many threads on this, many lengthy ones, one recently posted by dancin doc (yesterday I think), take the time and read it...it's about sexual arousal and all processes.

You are thinking backwards. Your orgasm is to please you, not him.

> I also have never had an orgasm and id like too, Idont know how to ask him. CAN ANYBODY HELP ME.

Please read the following Sticky message:

For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

> I gotta know how to please him. Ive given him head before, hand job, hes asked me to lick his balls but thats about all ive ever done for him.

The two of you should take your cues for what to do when from each other's reactions.

> I wanna know somemore things to do. I like to be in control anf right now I feel kinda out of control.

Please have a look at the information on the Jackinworld site. It is perhaps the preeminent authority on male masturbation--as as part and parcel of this, male stimulation.

http://jackinworld.com/sitemap.html

Read through the information in the "How To" and "Expert" sections. Because variety is spice, you will find a lot of ideas for spicing up the way you do things for him now and then.

In addition, ask him what he likes and then employ whatever it is. If you want to be in control then be bold and try some form of caress and see what happens, again, taking your cues from his reactions. Once in a while, you take command of when and how intercourse will proceed. You get the two of you into position. You can if you prefer take over the action, or just the act of getting into position and then once there, reverting back to being a follower; it's up to you.

Something else to consider is teasing him. Now, if you do tease, do not torment needlessly. There is a fine line between building desire and turning a person off by not delivering in the end. If you like giving him a hand job and oral, then combine the two in what I refer to as the "dynamic duo" as he approaches his climax. Doing the two together will help peak his arousal and the hand job will have a better chance of triggering his orgasm than oral by itself. Now, having said this, STOP! way short of his peak. Move on top of him and let his penis slip inside for a stroke or two and then matter of factly disengage and go back to a hand job or oral for a while. You can alternately build and hold off his approaching climax several times all the while driving him frantic with excitement, expectation, and, desire. Keep him wondering: will this be the time she lets me get off? Then, thinks he: Ah darn, she got off me! Oh no, its back to another hand job; Oh wait! now she's blowing me also? I can't take much more of this!

Repeat this scenario four or five times, each time making intercourse last just a few strokes longer and perhaps being a bit more energetic before returning to the hand and mouth tantalizing.

If you don't think this will drive him insane, try this as yet another alternative: Don't change any of the above, except for the emphasis. In the beginning he will think this is all about him and what you are doing for him. Later, as you repeat the "teasey torture", make him think it is now all about you by seeming to be unconcerned about his progress toward Nirvana. Play the part of the vixen who is happy and becoming carried away by all the action and selfishly enjoying the moment whatever you are doing.

Do you like to act? Like chef Emeril on TV, kick this up a notch. When you are getting into the moment, act as if you are a happy go lucky ditzy blond and self absorbed in what you are doing while appearing to ignore or to be unconcerned about what is happening or not to your partner. Of course nothing could be further from the truth, although this is what you want to have cross his mind while he is under your control.

After you have had your way with him, have driven him mad with anticipation, don't stop. Fall into each other's arms at this point and make mad passionate love.......... If he is a normal guy, I can pretty much guarantee one whale of an orgasm. What's more, he will go from thinking you are the devil for torturing him to believing you are "the woman" and God's gift.

Anyone else have some ideas for Nesse or someone in her situation?