Ok I'm dating a girl who I think is having a concentration problem, when she has sex she doesn't think about it and at best she thinks nothing at all. This makes her really tough to please, she has been doing this all her life from day one. though recently we have been getting into some bondage and she seems to be alot more responsive. she says that she likes it, but doesn't know if its that the focuses better or that thats just her thing or both. Now I am by no means an expert, I could just be spouting off normal things that I'm just not getting so I thought I should ask people who I think would know.
If I'm just doing somthing wrong or if there is another way I should be approaching this any help would be great, I'm here for her.
If she is having sex with you and does not think; what do you find attractive then? Brain function is essential, lack of well, creates a whole host of issues. Or maybe I am missing the point in your post????:confused:
Well, the slightest things get her off track, its all most like sexual ADD. Its getting better that I have brought it up, and I just have to wonder about why. Is it what we are thats making her focus or is it that shes focusing better as is.
let me put it out, I know I'm not the best at this sort of thing, sorry folks, thanks for atleast reading it.
-she has a hard to focusing on sex, she has always been like this. somthing vary small could happon, a noise from room mates, my hair touching her, even if my breathing changes and she looses focus and looses arousal.
-is there anyway I can help her with that, am I not giving her the experience she needs? I can get her to orgasm, and its faster each time, but she still has a lot of focusing issues.
I just want to know if its normal, and if I can help.
I would think if she is very young perhaps some fear of getting caught might distract her. If she is not young & has been with other partners; I have to say that her lack of concentration may just be a bad mix sexually between you both. Or she is just not a sexual person.
Someone could be having a party in my house & I would have no idea when intimate with someone. Now, if my parent's & family were ringing the front door bell? That MIGHT catch my attention, other then that...dog/cat running about? I would never hear it.
I think if you are noticing this you need to have a heart to heart talk with her while you are just alone and not nearing engaging in or moving towards a sex act. Talk when in a neutral place and where she is comfortable. Focus on "I notice this happens when X and it makes me feels Y" not by saying "YOU do X and YOU make me feel Y"...
This is a serious issue. You are NOT demanding her participation. She is not reciprocating and therefore has nothing to keep her focus where it should be - on you! To begin with - have her give you a nice massage. Then use the female superior position (her on top) and make her do all of the work.
Don't do bondage as she still just gets to lie there. Do the Discipline side of it by demanding that she do this that or the other - "lick my ankles" - whatever. Have her do the body worship on you.
Please review the sticky post entitled The Program.
and stop letting her get away with being lazy in bed.