I have been sexually active for about 6 years now and I barley ever orgasm with my partner. In fact, I probably can count the number of times I have ever orgasmed with my partner on 2 hands. I always orgasm from masturbation though, but only when I fantasize about two straight men hooking up. I can not orgasm from fantasizing about any thing else and even though I try it never works. I have even started to try and concentrate on these guy/guy fantasies when I am having sex in order to help me orgasm, although it is too hard to concentrate on them and so it doesn't work. I do not know what is wrong with me and I want to be able to orgasm when I am having sex with my boyfriend! Any advice for how to solve this problem?
Tue, 01/15/2008 - 01:26
#1
I only can orgasm from Masturbation!
Stop trying and try getting lost in the moment & all the wonderful sensations. Submerge yourself into being present with him and how great it feels. Take the pressure off to orgasm and it becomes easier. Also, try not to masturbate at all and you may find his touch & fell are enough...just a thought.
Enjoy him thoroughly and enjoy pleasing him...its a major turn on.
The more you masturbate, the more you get used to your touch and your way of getting off...this means that instead of a penis sliding in you isnt the same as two fingers. Ergo no orgasm.
I find when people masturbate regularly they are accustomed to their own feel...long story on that one. However, one person I knew was more into helping himself then enjoying the moment.
It appears if done often you are sensitive to your touch and feelings alone. Therefore, if the other is not mimicking & doing exactly as you do then you have lost the wonderful feel of another human being & the closeness.
[quote=Ducy;205646]The more you masturbate, the more you get used to your touch and your way of getting off...this means that instead of a penis sliding in you isnt the same as two fingers. Ergo no orgasm.[/quote]Ducy:
ARE YOU DOING YOUR HOMEWORK & STUDYING? ACADEMICS I MEAN. NO FAILURE FOR YOU. I ALSO HOPE OEDI IS DOING WELL...FINDING HIS WAY.
Amy,
A quarter of us never reach orgasm and half of us require stimulation in addition to penetration and thrusting. The fact that you can achieve orgasm is good news. You know what one is and you know what you are looking for. The oldest patient who ever reported her first orgasm to me was 54 years old. I have had a number who were in their thirties with children before reaching orgasm.
The fact that you can means that this can be transferred to other situations but will likely require patience in a partner. Teah him how you masturbate and let him practice. You can be fantasizing anything you wish - it will not show. We all fantasize during sex and you have a fantasy that works. Use it.
If it does not work for a while, you can always finish yourself off (not uncommon) after he is satisfied.
Yes sera I am...my classes started yesterday...and I made sure I had it all done asap.
Since they are all online I have plenty of time to work so now i am job hunting....although nobody seems to want to hire me :(
I also have difficulties having an orgasm, but most of the time during sex he stimulates me additionally with his fingers.
Are you tensing up as orgasm builds? Are you NOT breathing deeply? Do you think of sex as 'dirty'?
I ask because what's going on in your head can affect what goes on with your body and vice versa.