Hi, I’m a 21 year old female, and I have a problem: I’ve never had an orgasm. Now before you give me the usual, “have you tried it alone?” route, let me explain. I started masturbating regularly around the age of 10, and I’ve had (compared to most females) an extremely high libido since then. I’ve never been sexually abused, or had any surgeries/accidents in the genital area. I very much enjoy sex and other sexual activities, but I’ve never had a clitoral orgasm (I’m just now starting to experiment with the g-spot, so hopefully that will go somewhere). Is it possible that I am physically incapable of having a clitoral orgasm? I’ve been researching this ever since my parents took the block off the internet when I was about 14, but so far have come with nothing. My stages of arousal are completely normal until the very last step. It builds up and builds up and right about the time that I assume the average person would have an orgasm and release, everything in that area shuts down and instantly further stimulation becomes extremely painful. That is my version of an orgasm, an extreme build up with no release, no contractions, no flush throughout my body. I’ve been okay so far, and I still enjoy sexual activity simply because I don’t know any different, but after so many years of this, I’m getting very frustrated, and so is my boyfriend. I’m writing this to put my story out on the internet and hope someone can give me some advice. It would be great to find someone who is going through the same thing, because as of yet I have never come across anyone with this particular problem. Any and all help would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
Brit
P.S. If you are reading this sometime in the distance future and it’s unlikely that I will still be checking this page, you can e-mail me at: [email]liam647@gmail.com[/email]
Brandye posts regularly on this and I believe she sites about 25% of women never do. She is the best to answer for you...it was never of issue to me & really never understood that women did not. Let her give you info.
Additionally if you have any hang ups or inhibitions it can interfere.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/19803-for_women_only-_help_why_c...
The Anatomy of the Female "O", Answered by Brandye & Dancingdoc2 & Inspired by Godiva
Female Sexual Response
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics
I go through the same thing you do :( I have the climax but no the orgasam
In Pleasing Her and Sexual Health: Women there are complete descriptions of the female response. We do know that about one-quarter of all women never, or rarely, reach orgasm. We also believe that the majority of them are capable.
The first thing to be done is eliminate physiologic issues such as a very thick clitoral hood or other anomalies. For this, a gyn who is experienced in dealing with sexual response issues is the first step. If all physiological issues are eliminated, then technique can be addressed. There are sex therapists who have dealt with this, mostly successfully. And then, psychological issues. Many sex therapists who may address technique will also address the psychological side of things.
Your gyn or a local women's clinic should eb able to refer you to a responsible and properly trained therapist. There are charlatans out there advertising in the classifieds - use regular referral channels to find a good one.
After all these years of trying it is time to go beyond self help and get some professional help. The oldest patient I have known to have her first was fifty-four. Several of my patients experienced their first in their thirties after being mothers for a few years. There is real hope.
There are various theories regarding the G-Spot (read around). Whilst possible, it is not very likely that that will make much difference.