I don't get what all this fuss is about sex. I don't enjoy it. If anything it feels uncomfortable. I rarely get 'wet', if I have sex for more than a few minutes it starts to sting and I have little abrasions (sp?) underneath my entrance, quite often I see a little blood. I use lube (can't have sex without it as I'm often dry) and have plenty of foreplay.
I've tried many times by myself using fingers and a vibrator, but the only time I orgasm is with persistant clitoral stimulation. Even then, It's not that great... kinda seems like so much effort for so little gain.
Background:
I'm 26, Feb last year I split from my husband. It was a somewhat 'happy' split and we still talk and get along quite well. The relationship lasted 9 years. He was always up for it and I wasn't. It just never felt good no matter how hard we tried. I ended up rejecting him altogether as he was always on my case about it.
I've spoken to 5 different doctors, male and female, had everything checked out and the only thing they'd tell me is that I need to relax and enjoy it (that doesn't help me!)
Previous and subsequent relationships were exactly the same.. I get dumped becuase either they think I'm not into them or I'm not 'sexual' enough.
I have a sex drive. I've got nothing against porn, not religous, I can even talk to my mum about it... even if her response is "I've got no idea honey"
Is it possible to just not enjoy it? Even if you like the idea but your body just doesn't do want you want it to do?
I've read the articles, gone through the stickies (most of them), searched on the net....
But nothing.:(
Well, you are clearly not alone. About one-quarter of all women never experience orgasm. Some of these, I am certain, do enjoy the act but at least as many find it rather dull and time-wasting. We believe that almost all women can learn to enjoy it.
Your comment regarding your mother is very telling: "I've got no idea, honey." While sexual satisfaction is not genetic, these attitudes are passed on in subtle ways. Your mother, after all, is the one who teaches you to be female and is your "teacher" for many years. Her sexual response may be quite similar to yours.
By the age of twenty-six, your attitudes and opinions are quite well established. Ask your gyn for reference to a responsible sex therapist and see what can be unravelled. After checking with five different doctors, there is no organic problem and the psychological dimension has been reinforced each time you have experienced unsatisfying sex. Your alternative, of course, is to join the ranks of women for whom sex is simply an act of self-propogation. Not much fun.
Thanks Brandye.:)
My mum was mainly becuase she has no trouble and can't give me any advice.
I'll check out the sex therapist, I refuse to just have sex for a man's benefit. I want to enjoy it too!
Heya!! i have the same problem :( , i just dont get turned on n i find sex quite boring and a waste of time. im only 19 and have been sexually active for 2 years, but ive found that in the last 4-5 months.. i just havn't been getting turned on like i used to and its starting to worry me. I don't want to tell my boyfriend either because i don't wanna offend him..