Each person, male and female, must make the transition from "preorgasmic" to an orgasmic human. Boys do this matter-of-factly right out of puberty because they masturbate so much and quickly develop a routine of motions, rhythms, and pressures that they then pretty much rely upon for the rest of their lives to bring about a climax. Girls on the other hand either begin masturbating later in life, or, not at all. In the last case they never make the transmutation.

We are all born with a pleasure center in the brain and millions of sensitive nerve endings all over our skin and body. There is also an autonomic nervous system that will connect both ends together--if and when the connections are established. This is not something that is innate or inherent; rather, each person must practice and work at making the millions of connections. This is done by learning to masturbate and then being able to do so regularly and consistently.

Once each of us learns how to have a climax, we can then take our partner's hand and guide his/her movements several times until s/he learns to mimic those patterns that have become unique and specific to us. We all know the basics on how to stroke a penis and finger a clitoris; however, there is more and it is what I just described that is what I refer to as the "Fine Art" of the process. If we are off the mark just a little, either an orgasm will not happen, or it will be less than expected.

We do not give orgasms away. Each person is responsible for his/'her own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve one using their motions, rhythms, and pressures, along with some verbal or non-verbal feedback on how you are responding to their caresses and for what you may need--now. If we do not show our partner how we masturbate, do not give feedback, then all any of us can hope for is a 50/50 chance of getting it right. With something so important, who wants this as a batting average?

You may be one of a few women who cannot achieve a climax. Brandye reports that about 25% of women simply cannot. Before you give up on yourself, I believe you need "to give it the good ol' college try". If you have not been able to climax, yet otherwise capable of it, then in my guesstimation, you simply gave up too soon. Stick with it. Keep fingering yourself until something happens. You will find that as you approach a climax, your breathing will change, becoming both haulting and also rapid. You may even hold your breath right before the orgasm is triggered. Your attention will be only on what is happening and you will not be aware of anything going on around you. Perspiring is commonplace. So too is tensing the legs and torso.

"Hitting" the G-spot does nothing. The spot requires constant and ongoing friction from a massage and also requires just a bit of pressure.

The same holds true for the clitoris. Tapping it or touching it on a hit and miss basis is not going to do anything. Consider the clitoris as a tiny penis and then think about how these actions would contribute to your climaxes! NOT. Few sexual positions bring the femal genitalia into constant contact with the man's body sufficiently to produce the required stimulation. So, what most guys in the know do is to reach around and finger it while stroking away. A guy can also help her to orgasm before and/or after intercourse if it is her wish.