Hey people,
I'm a 21 yr old female that has little to no sex drive left. I've been dating a guy for almost a year now and I can tell the frustration is starting to build. I am a virgin and I used to have a pretty healthy drive during high school. I started using the pill (Yaz) because I loved how it kept everything regulated. My concern now is that it's totally wiped my sex drive. I've tried a handful of different pills and this one keeps me regulated the best.
Mentally I want to do stuff with my boyfriend but my body doesn't. It hasn't always been this way....as I've been in some pretty shitty relationships in the past yet i've wanted to be sexual but mentally and emotionally wasn't ready as well.
Currently my boyfriend and I still "mess around" but I know he's getting a bit frustrated. He's had sex with several partners before and I don't want to disappoint him but he knows my body isn't reacting the same way. We would make out and feel each other up...he even does the stuff I tell him which used to get me going like put my arms up behind my head and grind his thighs between my legs but for some reason it doesn't get me going and it doesn't feel like it should. My breasts are really sensitive and I don't get the sexual feeling like I should when he touches them.
I truly haven't felt horny in over a year and for someone my age, it's not right:( I never have a dirty mind and I never think to myself..."Oh I'd do him" Any help would be appreciated. Also I'm looking into seeing a gynecologist to look into options. Other women on Yaz, please give me some input on whether it has messed up your drive as well.
Thanks!
Jamie
Jamie i can't give you advice about the pill as i've not been on birth control for many years.But as a woman who has suffered from stress,depression and anxiety for many years(causing low sex drive) i wonder if you might be overthinking and stressing too much, putting pressure on yourself to perform.Perhaps outside influences like work, study ect might also be playing a role in causing your lack of interest/drive in sexual activity
Two possibilities:
Women react to different pills differently. You state that you have already tried others. This needs to be discussed with your gyn and, perhaps, the one which "regulates" you best is doing damage to your libido. You may accept a little less regulation to regain your sex drive.
If you do a google search on any brand pill you will find women discussing similar problems. With forty or so pills available, your doctor can help you find one. Or, consider the ring. That puts the smallest amount of hormone into your bloodstream and fewer women have negative reactions - such as dead libido.
The other possibility is that your body is telling you something you do not want to accept. Possibly you are simply not that into him. Or, at least not that into having him into you.
Yaz is meant to be low hormone... My gf was on it for a while, and it killed her sex drive as well. As Brandye sayds though, I am sure there are bad experiences with absolutely every type on the market.
I agree with the top two posts about me. Though my girlfriend wasn't on Yaz, she was on the shot. It would stress her out, and towards the end she didn't have the sex drive. I'm not sure if it was because of the stress level or what it was, but it affected both her and me. She then switched over to the ring that gets placed inside of women that is to last for 5 years, but most doctors say have it in for 3 then have it replaced. She wasn't stressed as much and her drive came back. When you tried the other pills, how long did you take them to try them? If only a month, I don't think you didn't give it enough chance, but I'm not a doctor and I'm only familiar with the two methods my girlfriend had tried. I'm not t well educated in this area, just thought I'd share our experience with you, and I'm hoping you will get that back for your sake.
Disregard sprtskhne33's post. This is confusing an intra-uterine device with the ring. They are two VERY different things. the IUD is placed in the uterus. Those with copper coating are usually expected to last seven years; with hormone coating, five years; uncoated (not available in U.S. but most popular many other places), indefinitely.
The ring is inserted only into the vagina. It is left in place for 21 days; removed, and a new one inserted seven days later. The ring places the lowest level or hormone in the bloodstream because it bypasses the digestive tract and because it is providing a constant source of hormones rather than the spikes of taking a pill and its decay (mostly through the liver) over the twenty-four hours until the next dose.
Most doctors will tell you there are more adjustment difficulties with the shot than with other forms of hormonal contraception.
The consensus is: change your birth control. Now to discuss the rest of your post.
Stress is a desire-killer and it doesn't matter what is causing the stress. Sexual desire is often a fragile thing even at the best of times, add a bit of stress and it is instant chill. Brandye touched on this topic. Your body may be trying to tell you something more than just 'change your pills'.
"I don't want to lose my BF." Nice of you, I suppose but think of it this way. You have an important, temporary, medical issue and this man, who professes to care about you, dumps you because he's not getting any. This issue of yours is not about "what you are not doing for him" but more "how tough is this man exactly?"
Everyone has his/her level of physical need but the last thing people need is a partner who will cut and run during a 'bad patch'.