Hello. This is my first post on here. I joined this sex education web-site to try to help a problem me and girlfriend are having.
We have been going out for 5 years this October. We are both absolute virgins. She has never even seen a guy naked before. I have seen a few women only in pictures. Over the long haul over these 5 years I have been struggling get somewhere with this girl by trying everything there is to try known to man. When we first started going out I tried to get strait sex from her for a while. She absolutely refused my attempts. I had endless talks with her about us both being clean from disease and there are many forms of birth control we could use. First I offered her the ability to buy birth control pills. I had the ability to buy them without embarrassment. Next I spent a while talking about condoms. I finally decided after about a year an a half that strait sex was out of the question. Next I opened her mind up to anal. I insisted to her that doing anal was not nearly as severe on virginity as sex. She insisted that her ass was also a virgin. I even spent time doing research and showing her facts and information about how some believe that the ass doesn't count. It depends on who you ask. Truthfully the ass doesn't pop the cherry and therefore technically it is not sex. She was not for it. I did know at the time that oral has nothing to do with virginity. So I tried for at least two years to talk her into oral of any kind. She said that sucking me off or me sucking her off was against being a 100% virgin. I took her to this website to try to show her that things like the 69 were possible for virgins to have a good time. I said “people who do that, and are virgins, are virgins that have fun.” She refused. I asked next about sucking her breasts or ass as a compromise. She refused to even do that. I should have mentioned earlier that when we are both horny we go into different rooms in the house or wherever, and jack off. As my final effort I asked if we could watch each other jack off to make it better. She still refused to be seen naked or see me naked. I am at a total loss. It has been 5 solid years of dating and we don't even have more that a few good French kisses. I wonder sometimes if I should drop this girl and move on but I love her and she loves me. The real problem is we are no way near ready to get married and I want something at least to do other than jack off by myself. Is there any advice anyone has for me about what to do with this?
Love Fest? Isn't that a group of 6 or more couples?
Now Dearest Sera, what is wrong with a Love Fest????
So nice to see a Love Fest.............Glorious.
[quote=constantlylearning;211076]So nice to see a Love Fest.............Glorious.[/quote]More like the "breakfast club", LOL!
[quote=oedipussy;211072]Well, I think Billy Idol is still doing a good job at it...
Honestly, if you keep calling me that I think he'll end up suing me. There can be only one...[/quote]I can get you out of the legality through calling you a "tribute" to B.I.---LOL!:) Can you sing like him too? If so I have a "job for you"...a benefit concert. :)
Well, I think Billy Idol is still doing a good job at it...
Honestly, if you keep calling me that I think he'll end up suing me. There can be only one...
Why does she want to remain a 100% virgin?? Does she want to wait on marriage, based on what, religious values, parents, or just plain scared?
She has never been very clear on why. She does say that the perfect person waits till their married. She also talks about her virginity being very important to her. She grew up in a tight family where her parents both waited until they were married to do it. Her sister is the same as her.
OMG - do not just drop her and move on - drop kick her and move on.
Why? Because she's putting "perfection" above your relationship. NOTHING IS EVER PERFECT and NO ONE IS EVER PERFECT. She is in for a very rude awakening.
And you have been a total wuss to let her get away with this. Apparently the only thing you haven't done is what you should have done - walk away and stay away. Women want men, not little toy lap dogs staying nicely to heel. Stop being her dog.
Your life, even if you did marry her, will be one long, long life of being denied because she's gotten so good at saying no and making you toe her line.
Walk away and go find someone who is NOT a virgin.
[quote=The Perfect 69;210665]She has never been very clear on why. She does say that the perfect person waits till their married. She also talks about her virginity being very important to her. She grew up in a tight family where her parents both waited until they were married to do it. Her sister is the same as her.[/quote]So you wasted 5 years trying while making your desires clear? Hypothetically, for arguments sake you wait until you are married. Then she decides she does not like it or care for making love, then what? A sexless marriage? FYI: Some parents lie to their kids about their sexual endeavors since they feel they are imposing a "correct" image and really they are inhibiting a woman's sexuality to the point of being harmful. After 5 years, unless she is 7 years old does not "fly". She is better off suited with those men who believe in chastity. I would not continue this relationship since she is ignoring your wishes/wants/needs to protect something which holds no real value of a persons ethics, morals, or integrity. Virginity does not make a woman, its what is within her heart. If she is this set against sex or "looking" out of curiosity, I have to tell you there are some significant underlying issues. Sexuality is part of life, yes some choose to wait until marriage; however, she is pushing you for this or just cherishes upholding a very unappealing trait.
Move on....she doesnt even want to let you see her naked. I mean this girl wants nothing to do with you (sexually)
The handwriting is on the wall, or more accurately: she has painted a pretty good picture.
I agree with Sera. If she was interested in fooling around (necking, petting, and heavy petting) and limiting your sexual releases to foreplay then I'd recommend sticking it out until married. In this situation where she is not only a virgin after all these years but a person who shuns all romantically related advances, I believe has a problem, especially if she is not willing to talk about or discuss what is going on with her.
Time to move on.
Get the f**k out of there. You're not in a relationship with her at all - you're just being trodden on by her. If she is unwilling to make any compromises for you now you can bet she never will at all.
This is not a romantic relationship at all. This is good friends or even a brotherly/sisterly love. A relationship without sex, or at least without some things of sexual nature is NOT a romantic relationship. I feel sorry for you for waiting 5 years for nothing, but at least you're a very patient man.
It sounds to me like there may be more to this situation then meets the eye. It is possible that maybe she is hiding something under her clothing she doesn't want you to see (scar? deformity?) I don't know for sure but it sounds kinda fishy to me. I think there may be something she doesn't want you or anyone else to see. How old are the both of you by the way, if you don't mind me asking ?
[QUOTE=Roadbobbles;210726] It is possible that maybe she is hiding something under her clothing she doesn't want you to see /QUOTE]
:D lol Reminds me of an Afroman song:eek:...... hehehehe. sorry
for the irrelevance of my post no offense intended.. :)
Oh my Nutty.......How could you? I am LIKE totally offended. I would be
curious to know if Sera is as well. Thinking probably so.:eek::eek::(
Offensive to say the Least.
[quote=constantlylearning;210746]Oh my Nutty.......How could you? I am LIKE totally offended. I would be
curious to know if Sera is as well. Thinking probably so.:eek::eek::(
Offensive to say the Least.[/quote]I think you both lost me, so hard to say. If she is hiding something, I hope she is not a man, a scar? No big deal but after dating someone for 5 years, think you would tell them???? I have plenty of scars...no one mentions or cares. Usually, they are only vaguely noticeable if I point them out. I felt deformed when I had a breast tumor removed...I swore the world knew. Not one man mentioned it & said he would never have know if I did not point it out.
That is ridiculous! Come on she masturbates, thats already not 100% virgin from the way I see it!! If you rubbed her 'down there' and she rubbed you 'down there', the only difference would be that it was a different hand!! How old are both of you?
5 years? That's ALL?! I don't think you've waited long ENOUGH, buddy - better give it another 5 years just to be on the safe side...
So here's the bad news: You wasted 5 years of your life for absolutely nothing. Sorry, but "I love her" just doesn't cut it.
The good news, however, is that you're still fairly young.
Now then, stop being such a wimpy little lap dog and drop this chick ASAP. Don't you think that over the course of 5 years you could've had sex more than zero times with someone else? DON'T wait for someone who isn't going to give it to you. The rule is: If someone won't have sex with you by the third date, they probably never will...
[QUOTE=constantlylearning;210746]Oh my Nutty.......How could you? I am LIKE totally offended. I would be
curious to know if Sera is as well. Thinking probably so.:eek::eek::(
Offensive to say the Least.[/QUOTE]
Lol CL you know Afroman?
these are the words i was refering to..................
I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair but damn she looked good
I took her to my house because she was fine
But she whipped out a **** that was bigger than mine
Never heard of Afroman before, but that reminds of that scene with Anna Nicole Smith from one of the Naked Gun movies...
Okay, Nutty...now I got it! Down the same lines I wondered! About being certain of the gf IS a gf...:)
[QUOTE=sera300;210787]Okay, Nutty...now I got it! Down the same lines I wondered! About being certain of the gf IS a gf...:)[/QUOTE]
lol not to be confused with the "she wont let me ****" song also
from Afroman. which also popped up in my bad mind;).....
I am still terribly offended.........not sure how to comment other than
to remark that I think this lady Nutty is referring to TRIED to serve me
dinner while traveling in CA......needless to say I had to pass.....all of
a sudden I wasn't hungry.LOL
In high school when I had been dating 'this girlfriend of mine' from another school for a 'few months' at the time; and I had a big oppertunity to change course. In my high school the freshman girls who were interested (usually 80%) would always be lined up by the seniors to be picked for sex. One girl who had f*cked many of the seniors was a fried of mine. She was a real sex queen and had been sitting with me for a while and must have been turned on. One day while passing her in the hall way; she offered to take me in the boys bathroom and suck and f*ck me. I turned her down because of my girlfriend.
About August of 2006 I was a my community college getting ready to start culinary arts. There was a super hot girl that kept hitting on me. Other guys said she was the most popular and hottest girl in the college. They said she must really like me, acting the way she did. She gave me her phone number and asked me if I wanted to f*ck her that night. She said she was board and needed everything including anal. She said she liked it hard and good and was ready for a massive f*ck that evening. She offered to do anything I wanted. She told me that she was falling in love by the second and even asked me if I wanted to leave early. She said she was 21 and didn't care that I was 18 and a total virgin at the time. She said that virgins were fun to teach what real sex is all about. She said she had d cups and a shaved snatch. She said that she had wine and her dad's credit card. I refused to do anything with her and left her and never called her because of my girlfriend. When I told my girlfriend what I turned down for her, she just smiled and went on with her business. She said "1 day if we get married you'll be glad you made that choice." I guess i've been dumb.
Sounds like someone likes to make up stories. With lame endings...
I think we're dealing with a kid that has free reign of a computer and nothing to do with his time.
lol i deleted it
Unfortunately, I'm bad at math...
Ha - I caught that before you changed it, nutty!
Your son is 20 and has been engaged 3 times?! Yikes! That's three times more than I can claim...
*shaking head sadly*
I was born on may 16, 1988. In october 2006 i was 18. Today i am 19 until May 16th in 2 months. Check your math.
[QUOTE=oedipussy;210816]Ha - I caught that before you changed it, nutty!
Your son is 20 and has been engaged 3 times?! Yikes! That's three times more than I can claim...[/QUOTE]
ae Oedi he's a real loverboy .. now he's going to be a player lol...
grrr me happy aslong as I'm not a granny lol
OK, Perfect 69 - at least you might not be lying about your age. Too bad the rest of that post was total bull****...
I never was much of a loverboy. I'll be 22 in less than 30 minutes and just the thought of getting married someday scares me. Guess I better make whatever time I have left as a bachelor count!
Marriage is like getting a piercing.
It's expensive and it really hurts.
[quote=constantlylearning;210805]I am still terribly offended.........not sure how to comment other than
to remark that I think this lady Nutty is referring to TRIED to serve me
dinner while traveling in CA......needless to say I had to pass.....all of
a sudden I wasn't hungry.LOL[/quote]What? Tried to serve you dinner in CA and she is in NZ? Am I missing something here? Or is it over my head???
Sera, what are you doing???? Frankly, I feel you aren't keeping up
and I AM OFFENDED. Your insight is invaluable with that comes a touch
of responsibility (LIKE KEEPING UP). Nutty was describing a lady and she
sounded like a waitress I saw not long ago. A similarity between the TWO
not in the same location obviously. Do you need some coffee?? Better yet
a KLONDIKE Bar..............LOL
[QUOTE=oedipussy;210825]
I never was much of a loverboy. I'll be 22 in less than 30 minutes and just the thought of getting married someday scares me. Guess I better make whatever time I have left as a bachelor count![/QUOTE]
Happy birthday Oedi....:D:p
Nutty, did you bake him a bake or have one sent over from the local pastery
shop?? Oedi Happy Birthday as well.
lol too busy to bake another cake,,,, already made one for t he boy who turned 18 today
so Oedi heres your virtual cake lol
That's cute! [SIZE=3]HAPPY BIRTHDAY[/SIZE] [SIZE=3]OEDI[/SIZE]!!!!
[quote=oedipussy;211063]Aww, thanks sera. You're special, too...[/quote]Who else can be "Billy Idol"????:) Thanks back to you!:)
[quote=oedipussy;211056]Thanks everyone - that made me feel special.[/quote]You are!!!:)
Thanks everyone - that made me feel special.
Aww, thanks sera. You're special, too...