Hi I was a virgin until about 5 months ago when I lost my virginity to my currnet boyfriend. We've tried just about everything, and I just cant seem to get off. I dont know what to do. He has no problem getting off, but expresses his concern that I havent yet. He isnt wasn't a virgin and hasnt had this problem before. I dont want this to become a problem in our relationship, and I want to fix it if its possible.
I think that the pressure I put on myself to orgasm is inhibiting me from being able to do so. I just cant seem to relax. I also guess I just dont know what I want, but dont know how to find out.
Any ideas of anything I can do to find out what I want? Or any ideas of anything he can do to help? Any feedback would be great
Thanks!:)
as dancing doc reminds us we cannot give our partner an orgasm. we must all know how to acheive one ourselves first thru masturbation. do you masturbate ? if you cannot get off on your own it is very unlikely that you will with your partner. you need to find your own persoanl tecnique and then show him what to do. the actual act of sex does not stimulate the woman very much at all so it is advisable he stimulate you another way at the same time or take care of your needs first perhaps orally
uh....what do u mean by get off?like raising himself off of u?
thanks. I knew that masturbation was an issue. I dont, and never have but now am definitly considering it. By getting off I ment orgasam.
[QUOTE]the actual act of sex does not stimulate the woman very much at all so it is advisable he stimulate you another way at the same time or take care of your needs first perhaps orally[/QUOTE]
does my girl.. she has an orgasm everytime we have intercoarse. sometimes multiple.. it's all about the angle and the motion. (she had never done this with anyone before and cant get off herself but can when i finger her, oral, sex, etc)
thought not everyone can achieve this and the first part of newtolove post was the best advice here.
[QUOTE=SexTherapy;156405]uh....what do u mean by get off?like raising himself off of u?[/QUOTE]
I think you have a wrong user name! lol
[QUOTE=chevychic1234;156410]thanks. I knew that masturbation was an issue. I dont, and never have but now am definitly considering it. By getting off I ment orgasam.[/QUOTE]
It is very important than you do (masturbate). This will allow you to explore your own body and find out what makes you feel good, and will allow you to get sense of how your body reacts as it approaches an orgasm. Once you know this, you can apply that knowledge to your sex play in an effort to achieve orgasm that way. You can teach him how to touch you to make you cum, and without knowing that yourself, you're basically just flailing around hopelessly.
Once again from the top!
Masturbate - exploring both clitoral and G-Spot stimulation.
Look at men - not just those puppies in your schoolroom - real men. Think 'what do they know?' These images and thoughts are the basis for a rich fantasy life which will help during masturbation. Get the kind of vibrator called a clitoral stimulator (small, has a flat head with a few small bumps on it), wet its top and use it. They are inexpensive, battery-powered, and small enough to be discreet. Every woman should have one.
More men - yes I know this probably goes against your current philosophy, but how do you know your current male is any good? He says he is? OK. Play the field and sport-date. Get yourself on the Pill and have at it. Show them no mercy! Just make sure you choose males of good character and closed mouths. Just remember this is not love. This is sex. Have fun with it. Play with it. But don't take it seriously. Not yet.
well well well evilevilkitty certakainly is the name for you has the word love of even affection or even more remotely caring ever crossed you ? some people in fact at least 50 % don't want to make of sex the sport you seem to make and your advice in almost all of your posts points to the fact that you are someone that cares for no one (perhaps just for one night as long as the one night stand lasts) and probably do your best to use men and then dump them. sorry if I am ewrong but most of your posts do actually anoy me
Newtolove - you are very much mistaken. But far too many people like to linger on with the 'hearts and flowers' routine until it becomes silly and too saccharine for words. I am a woman, not a 'pet' or a child who needs coddling. Men meet me on an adult level or not at all. I do not have one-night-stands - EVER. They are a waste of time. If he's not interested in a long term relationship then he's gone. Sorry and all that but that is how it is. And all of my lovers are also my very good friends, thank you very much. I live in a web of initmate interlocking loving relatonships.
Of course my posts annoy you. They go against everything you have been taught to believe.
I've never been taught anything in particular but I do prefer one compagnion at a time and agree with you on all the balls of flowers ecc. yes I think occasionally they are necesary but not just tons and tons. I just want to be with some and be happy no need to keep trying to win them over with such crap we either get on or move on but most like a little thought now and then the last and only flowers I gave was a picture by e-mail and it was more to explain a tradition here in Italy that i don't entirely agree with called ladys day
Romance is nice but not as a steady diet. If you prefer one at a time, fine. But one should try other modes and methods before making any such decision. I am merely presenting the alternative view.