Um, I don't want to be rude but there are about 50,000 threads concerning this topic. Do a Search :) Some women cannot orgasm during sex from thrusting alone. Maybe she can try playing with herself / using a vibe while you're going at it?

Yes, there are many archived threads dealing with this matter.

Here's the answer in a nutshell:

With the exception of a few positions, women need help to achieve an orgasm during intercourse. The positions that give her the best chance of having an orgasm are:

* The Woman Superior (a)
* The Missionary in which the man rides high up (b)
* The "X" or "Y" side-by-side positions (c)

Why?

Well, think about it...our genitals require nearly constant friction in order to build arousal and then trigger the climax. With most positions, the woman's necessary pieces-parts either do not come into contanct with her partner's body or do so in a touch and go fashion--hardly conducive to building and peaking her ardor, excitement, and sexual tension.

So, what is a guy to do?

What those in the know do is:

* to help her orgasm, first, before engaging in intercourse
* to reach around with our hand and finger her while stroking
* and perhaps to follow up with an orgasm after intercourse, if it is what she desires

Whatever combination works in the heat of the moment. Now that you know what must be done, go have fun and help her to experience her orgasms before, during, or after intercourse.

> She has told me that she has never once had an otgasm from sex

(a) The Woman Superior position gives the woman complete control over placement of the penis, pressure required for insertion, length, tempo, and rhythm of stroking; and, the speed at which her level of arousal and excitement builds. By sitting on him, she places her genitals in direct and constant contact with him and by undulating and "grinding" she can massage herself into a frenzy and achieve her orgasm.

(b) By modifying the Missionary position so that the man "rides" high up in order for her genitals to rub against his pubic mound and/or for the base of the penis to rub against her, she will experience more constant stimulation.

(c) The "X" and "Y" side-by-side positions differ only in the position of the legs. The couple recline on their sides facing each other, perhaps at an angle, with either the legs parallel or across each others.

I am assuming that she is orgasmic and can achieve orgasms from fingering, oral, or masturbation. Is this correct? If she cannot, then she must do some homework and learn how to masturbate, first, before she can expect to experience orgasms by her partner's fingers.

Results guaranteed

By now we all basically understand how to finger a clitoris and stroke a penis; however, what each of us must be taught in addition is what I call the "fine art". Upon learning to masturbate each of us quickly develops a routine of movements, rhythms, and pressures, that we come to rely upon to bring us to the brink of an orgasm and then beyond. If we are off the mark by very much an orgasm will either not happen or if it does it will not be as good.

I recommend and urge all couples to teach each other how we masturbate, first by demonstration, then by taking each others hand in our own and guiding his/her movements several times in order to learn how to mimic what we do for ourselves. Once we learn how our partner gets off, then we can pretty much be assured we will be able to do it for her/him.

Feedback

When we masturbate we have benefit of an internal feedback that permits us to fine-tune or modulate our actions in response to what we feel and for what we may need next. When we turn our pleasure over to our partner, we no longer have this internal feedback. So, what is a body to do? Simple: Give each other verbal or non-verbal cues on how you are responding to their caress and for what you may need, now.

Verbal feedback can be a word or utterence like: "wow", "whew", "more", "more-more-more", "don't stop", "STOP!", "I like that", "mmmmmm", "uhhhhk", etc.

Non-verbal feedback can be a squeeze of the hand or some other form of body english that the two of you work out to have specific meanings.

Did she?

The female orgasm is much more internalized than the male's. Because of this guys often have no clue or indication that his partner has achived an orgasm. This often prompts the question, "did you cum?" I believe this is awkward, squelches the mood, and completely unnecessary.

I believe an additional aspect of giving our partner feedback is for the woman to indicate to her man in no uncertain terms that she either did or did not experience a climax. Gals, you can do this very matter-of-factly, again, by using body english that the two of you work out to convey to the guy that you climaxed, or to whisper a key word that leaves no doubt in his mind. It's a part of sex etiquette 101.

The Partnership

> (she rates me at about a 9 out of 10, you always want room to do better)

The key here is to know and understand that we do not give orgasms away to our partner. Each person is responsible for his/her own. All any of us can do is to help him or her achieve them. You now have the knowledge to do this for each other.

Second, improvement comes through practice, knowledge, and from teaching and learning from each other. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, it is what we do for and with each other. This is a partnership. Explore and learn together.