ok..me and my boyfriend of a year have had sex a lot..well the last fews times that we have he cums but i dont do anything i dont come or orgasm..i dont know what to do or what im doing wrong or him..i mean like when he is about to cum thats about the only time i really enjoy it then he pulls it out...so i dont know what to do..can someone help me!!!?????:confused:
Wed, 03/14/2007 - 00:35
#1
I can't orgasm ... Weird
Did you orgasm before? and this just recently started happening??
Maybe try here too
i use to orgasm but now i dont do anything!!
Well can you think of anything that has changed??
Stress level... how wet you get... taking any different medications?
no i dont know of anything i mean i started taking a new medicine but this happened before i even started taking it!!
Sounds as if he is stopping too soon for you. I noticed if I get out of sync too many times straight, then it's hard to get back in it again. Meaning if I cannot orgasm then it makes it difficult then next time...
well he pulls it out cause he doesnt want to cum in me so he pulls it out..but then like right before he does thats when i start to get into it. and feel like im going to have a orgasm but then we start again and nothing happens
Yeap, it's like the rythm was broke. Why is he pulling out?
he is pulling out so that he doesnt cum in me and get me preganet..cause we are not using condoms
Birth control pills? This is not an effective birth control method...it's one of the worse, it's right up there with the rhythm method.
Sexychick:
Please say you are using some form of birth control! If not read about the risks with this method!
yea well i know we should use condoms but he wont go out and buy any..and i have been for birth control for like 2yrs now!
Okay...you know you should use them & I am sure you have read all the posts as to why...not here to criticize, just to help. Glad to hear you are using something....you are not lowering the risks substantially with the withdrawal method. What if you add a spermicide? Or VCF?
Right, the BCP is made so that you don't have to pull out... if he comes inside you.. you are "protected"...mind you that's not always 100% and making sure you take them religiously increases your safety that much more.
Why won't he go out and buy any?? He's a guy right? That's what guys do lol.
You are taking responsibility on your part for taking the pill... he should have to do something. Besides, the condom might make him less sensitive and last a bit longer.
Or like Sera said, use some sort of vaginal spermicide.... I get like that sometimes where I'll be getting close when he's close. My b/f and I just use BCP by itself. But if he comes inside me and I'm "finishing" he can still pump after he's came b/c they'll stay hard a little bit afterwards.
Or what mine will do sometimes is if he's getting close but can tell I am no where close, he'll go down on me...start getting me closer and then he'll start back up... plus that gives him a min to rest and not be as excited.
There are different things you can try... anyways... if the guy comes and you are left hanging... he should always offer to finish you in other way... be it or, handy, anything lol.
well i dont know why he wont go out and buy any..i told him that he needs to cause i am taking the birth control but he still wont so i dont know..but when he starts to cum thats when i start to too.. but when he pulls out we pretty much stop and im not sure why..and i get nothing..i mean he wont finger me or anything..i give him hand jobs but he wont do anything to me..so i dont know !!
Ok Sexychick:
I am going to point out a few things here. First this guy forgot Valentine's Day, he's blowing you off about the prom, and he only gets himself off during sex & refuses to use condoms (I assume he did not do anything for your b-day either). It's time to kick him to the curb, throw him under the bus, ditch him and go out and have some fun! AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
yea i know he has forgotten valentines days..and he hasnt said anything about prom cause he wants me to go with him..and for my birthday the only thing that he did was went out to dinner with my family.... i mean i dont want to break up with him but i really think that it is heading that way,..i mean i dont want to cause i LOVE HIM!!!
Love is never enough. He is not giving you anything in this relationship, you are selling yourself so short and you know it. This is the hard part, you love someone, but they are not right for you, you are left disappointed over and over. When you find the guy who you care about and cares about you, you will look back and say "what the hell did I put up with that for?" He will not even tell you who he is going to the prom with. Stop making excuses for him, he keeps hurting you & you are letting him. I don't even know either of you and trust me...I can see it and "hear" it in your writing....Pick yourself up, get your dignity together, and do what you need to...there is nothing left between you two, your just holding on.
I had a rule as a teen: He provided the condoms and I provided the vaginal jelly. He di not bring condoms, he did not get laid. Period.
yea i know i am to dumb to let him go and i really need to cause its not going anywhere and its nothing left it is all dumb now and i think the only reason he is still with me is because i was his first..and he doesnt even stick up for me or anything ..and i cant deal with it so i think im really going to think about the relationship and see if there is any point of having it or not..cause i really dont think there is!!!
I know its hard SC but just take a step back and re-evaluate. You always take up for him saying that you LOVE him... but why? What it is about him that you love???
Was he your first as well? We do tend to have the certain bond w/ that person who was our first... but it doesn't always mean that its love.
It just doesn't seem like he has any regard for your feelings or you as a person... especially a person he is supposed to love.
He doesn't do things to show you that he cares.... he just makes you feel bad :(
I guess do the whole comparison and list things you like about him and things that really turn you off... and see which side outweighs the other.
And you aren't dumb!! You just need the courage to make a stand!
yea i dont knpw..but no he was NOT my first and my first was a mistake and i wish that i never did it but i did..ohh well..but i dont know i have been thinking alot about everything thats been going on..and when he says i love you i dont say it back anymnore cause i am havign 2nd thoughts about everythign!!
You are not "too dumb" don't put yourself down pick up your dignity and self-esteem!
ok.well he keeps calling me and i dont want to answer is cause i know we will argue...do you think i should answer it!!!
Why do you think you'll argue?
Do you guys always argue?
I mean if you feel like talking to him.. then answer.. if you don't ... then just you don't have to.
i diont know he could think of something to argue about cause thats what we have been doing lately!!
Ok.... I know I am a guy.. but let me toss out a couple of things.....
Yes, there is a huge difference in feel when you use a condom and when you don't.
A method that I have used in the past which helps is to use a lube on the penis then put the condom on and lube the outside of the condom.
This will help... Anyway lets work on your Big O.
In the past you have had the Big O with your current partner but now you can't get there. From what you explained, you start to get stimulated and on the way to the O when your partner finishes and has to pull out (due to lack of birth control).
What you can try to do prior is to stimulate yourself prior to him starting. This will jump start you and hopefully get yourself on the way to the O.
Lets face it, I am not gonna lie.... Women have it, men want it. You should demand satisfaction. Basically either you get off, or he doesn't. Lay down the law. Tell him how you feel and what the problem is. Either he is gonna see the light, or he should see the steet....
Have him do some foreplay to get you worked up, make him earn his.
I am not gonna ask your age cause it doesn't really matter but if all you do is argue with your partner and have bad sex... then you might need to look elsewhere....
Just my 2 cents and hope that I wasn't out of line with my reply...
yea well i dont think i really have to worry about ti anymore cause i dont think me and him will be going out much longer.cause i think i might end it cause i am tired of all the stuff that is going on and it is doing nothing but stressing me out..yes i do love him but i really cant take it anymore. i know it may not be the right thing to do cause i might lose him for good and then my life would suck but i think im going to take the chance and see what happens..maybe we will stay frineds and something could change and we could give it another shot but i dont know.!!
Hey sc...
Remember your life will not suck, it will hurt for a while, then you begin to pick yourself up and start over. Have to get that self-respect going girl! Heck, we all have been there and guess what? Life goes on and gets better, just give yourself some time.
yea well i guess you are right...but i dont know im just goign to think about it for a lil bit and decide what im going to go ...cause i really cant deal with it!!
At least your mindset has changed, and that's really positive. Your not posting questions which look like you need to change something (everything) to make him happy...You deserve respect, it's hard but all will work out one way or the other!