I am sad to learn of your continued problem. Let's delve into this a bit more.

> I posted the topic that I was still a 17 year old virgin, nervous about sex with my girlfriend, being naked etc. Well, as I said in that topic, after the usual clumsly virginesqe first time, we did it, but I couldnt seem to cum. This was after a bj and a handy, and well, I am getting quite nervous...

I understand from this that the two of you are having intercourse. It will be helpful to know more of what is going on with the two of you.

Question, have you ever climaxed before having intercourse from her hand and/or the "dynamic duo" of hand in combination with oral? If no, have you tried, or did you just jump from these activities into intercourse?

Question, how aroused are you when intercourse begins?

The anxiety of not being able to cum is a result of worrying about not being able to, so, Performance Anxiety may still be a likely contributor. The fix is to quite literally stop worrying. I know, easier said than done, yet this is the answer.

If the two of you are beginning intercourse before you are on the raw edge of an orgasm, yet can still maintain control, then you are starting much too soon. Did you read in one of my articles that a lot of guys are under the misconception that the best way to reach a climax is from lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking? WRONG. If you haven't read about all this, and the proper way to go about it, please do so.

> I am freaked out that I have some sort of problem.

I understand and this goes right to angst and worry, not that you do not have a valid reason.

For now, I recommend the following approach:

1.) Forget anal.
2.) If you can masturbate alright, then-
a.) after a lot of Necking and Petting, and then Foreplay
begin masturbating while beside her and when you reach
the peak yet can still maintain control, take her hand and
guide her movements so that together, she can trigger
your orgasm. Repeat this several times over several sessions
in order for you to retrain your brain and so she can learn
what movements and pressures are required to bring about
an orgasm.
b.) Later, after several successes with this technique, let
her stroke your penis all by her self. If you fail to reach a
climax, then go back and repeat (a.) giving her more and more
of the stroking to do while you do less and less.

3.) It is very difficult for a guy to climax from oral stimulation
alone; therefore, combine it with stroking when you reach
the trigger point of your climax.
a.) Give each other feedback regarding how you are responding
to each other's caresses, and, for what you might need--now!
This is important for 2.), also.

4.) Devote several sessions over a few weeks to all of the above.
Once you have achieved the ability to climax from hand and oral
stimulation, you can then move on to intercourse. Until this
is accomplished, do not engage in intercourse.
5.) When you are ready for intercourse, make absolutely certain
that the foreplay takes you to the brink of an orgasm before
entering. Stroking maintains the preexisting level of arousal;
thrusting peaks it and triggers the climax.
a.) Go back and read my first reply to you about the difference
in feel between stroking within a vagina and that derived by hand.

Each one of us quickly becomes accustomed to the "feel"
associated with masturbating. Later, if other activities like
drastically changing how we stroke, or if we use a partner's
hand, or, we enjoy oral stimulation, these sensations are often
so much different that our brain does not recognize them as
a way to trigger our orgasm. So what is a guy to do?

The answer is to retrain the brain in order for the pleasure center to learn a new routine. Because the feel within a vagina is so much different, just like someone else's hand technique is different, just like oral (as superb as the sensations are) is different, we need to learn to achieve an orgasm from an alternative technique. One successful way to do this is to reach the trigger point of an orgasm, first, using a regular technique, before attempting to trigger it in some other manner.

More often than not, if a guy is on the ragged edge of an orgasm, an orgasm will occur within the first minute as a result of the initial inward stroke, the subsequent return stroke, or during the next couple.

If this fails to happen, disengage, and return to the basics and use tried and true techniques to rebuild your level of arousal to the peak--then, try intercourse, again. And, again, if need be. Eventually, you will train your brain to recognize the new sensations associated with triggering an orgasm from within the vagina, in addition, to your tried and true solo method.

Question, are you wearing condoms? This can sometimes offer enough of a barrier to the rubbing and friction ordinarily derived that a person cannot achieve an orgasm. Applying some lube to the Glans only of your penis before rolling the condom on can help a lot.

Apply the condom immediately before entering. Either of you can do this.
If a regular condom hinders friction too much, try poly or thin natural ones.

Give all this a try and report back after a few weeks of practice.

-Doc.

P.S. If you have not yet gone through the Index and read most if not all of the articles listed in it, please do. They were written for a purpose.

I doubt this is a physical problem. Sounds like it's all in your mind. Nerves, like you said...