so here's the deal...i cannot orgasim..like its an impossibility...the one guy i was dated swore he would get me to orgasm and he tried so hard, like he'd be fingering me/giving me oral forever, and it just never happened...i get like really worked up and it feels good, but i never reach that climax...ive tried relaxing as much as possible and tryin to get into it, but it just doesn't happen...i've even tried fingering myself and the same thing happens...my body is rejecting me, what should i do?
Wed, 03/26/2008 - 01:49
#1
i cannot orgasim, so frustrating!!
skipgirl - get yourself a small vibe known as a clitoral stimulator (has a flat head with little bumps on it) and wet the top and apply to your clitoris, moving it about slowly until you find the right spot. Yes, you have to masturbate to orgasm - and do so frequently - so you train your brain.
Try Here... especially the one Help why can't he make me orgasm
Definitely get a clitoral stimulator: the bullet, rabbit, etc are great. I have a vibrator called the "Magic Monarch" and it is wonderful (but probably not good for most first timers since it's pretty big). It gave me my first and best ######. To sum it all up, you need clitoral stimulation
Bullets, rabbits - etc are meant for insertion. Those are the kinds you DON'T want.
try the waterproof mega-mite seen here: http://nightdreams.com/main.php?cat[]=vib&sort_order=&results_per_page=23&page=1
that's more of what you should be seeking.
From what I've heard and from experience bullets are made for clitoral stimulation and can be inserted if desired. And even with vibrators that have insertion, as long as it has a clitoral attachment, it's likely that it would work well for you
Clitoral stimulation is great - and it gets MOST girls off - but its not for everyone.
I think you just have to, perhaps, not try so hard. Just enjoy the sensation. If you try hard to come sometimes you will be your own worst enemy.
The first thing I recommend is PC exercises - they will give you far more control over your orgasms (and make them stronger!)
Secondly, just try different things out. Try watching porn, different vibes, reading erotic stories, masturbating in front of your boyfriend, etc. Different things do it for different people.
Just experiment... and enjoy doing it.
Here are some helpful hints 'n kinks from the SI101 Board. These articles and many others are listed in the Index.
-doc
Why Women's Orgasms?
Female Sexual Response
The Anatomy of the Female "O", Answered by Brandye & Dancingdoc2 & Inspired by Godiva
For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
The KIVIN Method of performing Cunnilingus, answered by Brandye, EEK, and Dancingdoc2
I think that a clitoral vibe would definitely help, but on the same note, I think you are so fixated on having an orgasm that you are actually making it impossible for you to have one. If you focus on the goal and not the path on getting there, it will evade you. Instead, try to think about how everything feels, fantasize, imagine how your bodies look together, whatever gets you going. Watch erotica if that does it for you.
The less you think about whether or not you will have an orgasm, the more you can focus on the sensations you are experiencing. You need to relax and pay attention to what feels great and what turns you on. An orgasm will happen naturally, but first, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Good luck.