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Hey Dale,

Thats what my guy does too normally, gets close, then stops.. gets close.. then stops... Thats what I do sometimes too. As to what to do.. um... Try out some different positions and dont stop. I'm relaly no expert at this... so all I can suggest is keep going until you get there...

shadowy

good luck coming, sounds like your not because you stop (maybe too much?) good thing is, you and your gf are enjoying having sex.

i cant give any 100% correct answers, but that's my 2 cents worth :)

I think what he means is he used to masturbate- stopping before he would ejaculate when masturbating (not having sex with his gf) and repeat to build his stamina.

After learning abit, it's two things. Either anxiety of why you can't come, or purely stamina. For anxiety, just google Delayed Ejaculation and start reading.

For stamina, you hand can't compare with a vagina. I'm in the same boat at day two.. I've read (recently.. thus day 2) don't masturbate for 2 weeks. Then when you do again, use only your fingertips as you have to sensitize your penis. Using a full grip desensitizes, and we don't want that.

Best of luck

having the girl go on top should help, my boyfriend says that feels the best for him

thats a good idea, julia, but then everybody is different...

although it might work.

I have no trouble coming when masturbating myself, but it takes like double the time when my girlfriend does it. I guess its cuz i dont wanna come in my boxers :P

i'm not trying to diagnose here, maybe the resident doc i've seen posting on occasion can help, but i can offer my insight as someone who has had a similar problem, and has been dealing with it for three years.

I discovered that the problem is most commonly referred to as inhibited ejaculation or male anorgasmia. you will find almost no literature on the subject as it's a problem that barely 10% of the male population ever deals with, and is way overshadowed by problems like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation (a problem i'd almost rather have, and i'm sure you might too). The basics of it are that you cannot orgasm during sex, but have no problem getting an erection.

I've found in my repeated attempts, and finally with moderate successes that the problem for myself is two ply. I masturbated a lot, and thought that i couldn't orgasm because i'd desensitized my penis or gained too much stamina (i used to do about the same technique you described....it just feels good and keeps the masturbation session going for longer). So i tried not masturbating, and found that it felt a little different when i had sex, and then after some coaching from my sex partner to go faster i ended up going at about the speed of a rabbit and was finally successful at orgasming for my first time. but it wasn't the beginning of smooth sailing. I still only came maybe 10% of the time, which was incredibly disappointing to me and her. She and i finally broke up, and i stopped trying to solve my problem.

I had a little success, mainly by chance, with my second sexual partner. The first time she and i had sex, i didn't orgasm, but faked like i had, and snuck off to the bathroom before she could see there was no semen in the condom. but the second time, i was able to cum. I was able to cum about half the times she and i had sex. This girl had been much louder than my first, and was much more into it. I didn't totally attribute it to this at the time, but that was part of the reason i did cum. My first hints that it was not just about masturbation, but was a mental thing as well.

Finally, my current girlfriend and I have been sexually active for a couple months now, and i've had some success on and off. I'm sure if i gave up masturbation for good i'd be golden, but i haven't given enough effort to it. But on the first few times i was successful at orgasming, i realized what was getting me over the edge that had been missing on some of the previous occasions. If i fantasized about a sexual encounter (usually a fantasy i'd successfully masturbated to before) it was almost a sure thing that i'd orgasm. Now i'm just trying to make those successful times with her the fantasies I use when masturbating and when having sex with her so it doesn't feel like mind cheating when i do it. But between not masturbating for a few days before sex and utilizing fantasies during sex, i've had much more consistent success than ever before.

But that's just my story. Trial and error is a slow process sometimes, but it's all that may work. See if anything from my experience may help you, and do some reading on inhibited or retarded ejaculation or male anorgasmia. You'll find a little literature online, and just about as much in general sexual health books in the library or bookstores. A sex therapist may even be able to help, and that's something i've considered looking into, but haven't actually done so yet.

Hope this helps!

that might just be it though.

orgasm but no semen? or just no orgasm?

maybe it is because of your frustration, and too much effort.

Bro dont worry about it i used to have the same problem we went for 40 mins once...i killed her she couldent go on but i still could. its going to go away when your having sex with her concentrate on her watch her face, hear her moans and youll be done quicker. also try other possitions like the "drill" to get more friction.. good luck dude

my bf had d same 'problem' wen we started going out.....it used to be great but he could never finish d job (so to speak). i kept telling him it was a mental thing. he used to concentrate too much on making sure he's doin g all he can to please me....however, although i used to enjoy it obviously....he wasnt. finally he learnt to let go and not concentrate too much and try and enjoy himself also and he managed.

now he doesnt have the problem anymore! :)

so try relaxing more and dont stay worrying whether you'll manage or not coz if u stay worrying u wont manage for sure