Hi first time i have posted on a message board about this sort of stuff! I have been with my gf for about 2 months now, we both are virgins, depending on how you look at it. We have both had oral and hand sex if you know what i mean.
we probably will have sex soon and she is worried about pain, from having sex the first time. i have tried to find stuff on the internet and it all points to the hymen breaking. What i am not sure about is that i have fingered her before, does that mean her hymen has already broken? what is the chances that it hasent? what should i look for when im down there next?? thanks for any advice!
I was fortunate to have a pain free first time experience. I dont use tampons, and never played with sex toys or anything. So my hymen was pretty much still intact. Again, I was lucky.
What everyone else already said is what i would say. Just make sure you are both really ready, and that she is relaxed and comfortable. Foreplay right before also helps- it gets you both in a more sexual mood and helps her relax.
And dont be surprised if she doesnt get much pleasure the first few times. It is a weird sensation that women must get used to before pleasure comes into play.
Good luck and remember to use protection.
yes there is a chance it won't hurt at all. it didn't hurt a couple of my friends at all the first time.
if it does hurt the pain usually subsides after 2 or 3 or 4 times because your body learns to get used to it.
and as demon said, go slow..really slow. if she tells you to stop, stop. look at her face, if you can tell she is in pain, stop and ask her if she is ok and ask her if she wants you to continue. and lube is very good. when girls tense up they tend to lose their lubrication and that will just cause more pain so I suggest getting some k-y jelly or something at your local walmart or drug store or grocery store just to be on the safe side.
Thanks
well like someone said if she is so tense that she is a ball of nerves. its likely to hurt worse b/c she'll be so tight.
like i said, mine didn't really hurt it was just a weird uncomfortable feeling at first. after a few minutes it started to feel better.
after my 2cd or 3rd time it started to feel good.
just try to get her to relax and make sure she is well lubed either naturally or w/ store bought lube. then just get her to breath and you enter her VERY SLOW. she'll feel pressure which feels weird at first.
just keep going little by little if at anytime she's too scared or in too much pain definetly stop.
just let her know you are there for her
Thanks for the advice,at the moment she thinks its gonna hurt, so this cant do the apprehension any good. I just was hopeing you lot could tell me that there is a chance that it could be pain free. If she does get pain from the hymen breaking (i dont think she has one though) is the pain going to be for long? would it be best for me to stop? Thanks for the advice, im sure it will come in handy!
I do many "first time pelvics"being the only woman doctor for miles around. And mother's know the little lecture and pamphlets their daughters will receive.
Fewer than half the mid-teens I examine have more than a trace of the hymen remaining. A few years with tampons usually eliminate them. Athletics and self-gratification also do their part. There are instances of truly tough hymen and I suggest a little nick with a scalpel. Most girls accept the idea.
The biggest culprits in first time pain are inadequate lubrication and tensing up. The first time for any woman causes apprehension and real gratification is not likely. The relief of my first time being painless, made curious about subsequent attempts.
Pain is not the big deal that most of us expect.
did you read all the posts under 1st time pain and bleeding 101?
there is a lot of girls accounts on their first times.
mine wasn't too bad but i had been using tampons, fingered, and used "sex toys" so mine was gone.
it still was real tight my first time. more uncomfortable than painful.
there was a good pic on here somewhere of the hymen but i don't remember where it was. its outside the body. its like a flap of skin that covers the entrance to the vagina. maybe you can see it if its still there.
do take tessie's advice and go gentle and slow. those will make the experience much easier for her and you.
My hymen got broke in a bicycle accident when I was 10.
When I had sex for the first time it still hurt like nothing I ever felt in my life. Now I lost my virginity to a stupid jerk that was less then gentle with me.
When you penetrate her for the first time there will be pain more then likely. I would suggest you go very slow with lots of foreplay. Wait until she is very wet and wanting you inside. Then go slow and careful, stopping to let her body adjust to you. Don't do alot of hard thrusting the first time unless she tells you to go harder.
Remember the best way for it to happen is to communicate with lots of respect and caring.
Once you get the first one over the second time will be much better.
And don't forget protection.