Okay, yesterday I made love with a beautiful guy who I have been crazy about for months. The sex was great until the intercourse part. He was very understanding and reassuring, but we spent HOURS trying to get his penis inside of me. We tried different positions, lubrication, fingering, everything! And although I am a bit wider down there because I experimented with a tampon and it actually went in, plus I can put my finger inside, but it's frustrating because I feel like a freak. Why couldn't I be like all the other girls in the human race and have a hymen that breaks? Now the guy won't call me (it's only been a day, well, barely) and I am completely humiliated.
Did any of you have he same "hymen of steel" problem, and what should I do? Help! 
(Hymen)
Sounds like you just got to work it to get it open, I have to do the same with my girlfriend (even though her cherry popped the first time we made love) just because my penis is bigger than the average males so It takes that little bit of extra effort, try foreplay, and lots of it! (Eat Out, BJ) to get everything lubricated then keep trying, I've found out doggy style is the easiest to enter without having to be lubbed, also being in a hot tub worked too!
(Bike Accidents)
Oh yeah, I've had my share of those when I was little, there was a huge hill down the road from my old house and we would race down it and one day I lost traction on the pedals and fell on the bar straight into the back of a car and nailed EVERYTHING on the way into it flew over the car into a box (thank god) and I walked home crying lol, erm well limped.
PPE, this may be a case where you want to "listen to your body." Look at what you wrote in your second post to this thread.
That said, it's not unusual for this sort of problem to exist and it takes some patience and "exercise." If you're anticipating losing that virginity, you (or your guy) she do some "stretching" by increasing the number of fingers and iterally working the opening. It may take a few weeks or so.
The psychological aspect cannot be ignored. If, subconsciously, you're not ready (we're not talking about foreplay) you're body will resist.
Wally
[QUOTE=Quote (demonbuttercup @ May 08 2004,23:43)][/quote]
[QUOTE=Quote (demonbuttercup @ May 08 2004,23:43)][quote=Tessie,May 08 2004,21:45]I lost my hymen when I was 12 in a bicycle accident. Had to go to hospital and everything. Sooooooo embarrassing to have a doctor tell you in front of your parents what the hymen is.[/QUOTE]
i wonder how many girls this has happened too?
my best friend told me thats how her's broke.
she fell off the seat and her crotch hit that bar inbetween your legs.[/QUOTE]
I don't know the answer to your question, demonbuttercup, but I can say I think it's definitely worse for guys when this happens.... gotta stop now, I'm doubled over just thinking about it.....
[QUOTE=Quote (Tessie @ May 08 2004,21:45)]I lost my hymen when I was 12 in a bicycle accident. Had to go to hospital and everything. Sooooooo embarrassing to have a doctor tell you in front of your parents what the hymen is.[/QUOTE]
i wonder how many girls this has happened too?
my best friend told me thats how her's broke.
she fell off the seat and her crotch hit that bar inbetween your legs.
i bet its happened to a lot of girls and they just don't remember or realize it.
i had that accident happen several times on my bike. don't know if it broke my hymen or not lol.
i don't remember ever having one lol.
You know it being your first time it could be that your body was tightening up and not letting your guy in. I have had sex more years then I care to count and it sometimes is hard for my guy to get it in. Some women just have naturally very tight vaginas.
I would try a vibrator and see if that helps to teach you how to relax and let it in.
Your hymen is farther up and if you did have sex with this guy then it is broke.
I lost my hymen when I was 12 in a bicycle accident. Had to go to hospital and everything. Sooooooo embarrassing to have a doctor tell you in front of your parents what the hymen is.
Anyway my first time having sex was a true nightmare that hurt more then I can say. Of course I had certain circumstances that went on that have left me to now realize it was more like date rape.
My point is, it will get better over time. Learn all you can about your body and what works for you.
And if this guy don't call then he is a loser and you just need to move on. There are lots of guys in the world and you don't ever have to settle for one that doesn't treat you right.
Omg! You're the only other person I've talked to that that's happened to! (other than me) I felt really dumb too..like it was my hymen or something (which i thought had already been broken)..we kept trying and trying and I think he was more embarassed than I was. We came to the conclusion..well..he did..that he could keep it up anymore, so the condom kept coming off and his penis wouldn't go in.
We had been fooling around for like over an hour and he couldn't keep it up anymore or something, so we knew for the next time to only fool around n such for like 25-30 min then we did it and it was fine! no problems! I hope that helps? Cya!
[QUOTE=Quote (ThePurplePeopleEaters @ May 08 2004,17:15)]Plus he's a Scorpio, so he might see me as some kind of sexual project.
[/QUOTE]
Hi ThePurplePeopleEaters!
I'm sorry to hear about your problem, and I hope you find a solution. It's not really MY area of expertise (lol) so I'll leave it up to others (like thetease
) to try to advise you. Okay, well, except to ask, have you tried a vibrator or a dildo? That could be something you could do yourself to see what the problem might be or to stretch the hymen. Just a thought.
Anyway, I just want to say that I am a Scorpio, and you are soooo right. We HATE to leave a project undone...lol... and we tend to blame ourselves when anything goes wrong. So I hope your guy calls soon.
Take care and good luck.
in all honesty, your hymen is probably not even there. it's a piece of skin on the outside of your vagina and is usually lost early in life from sports or bike riding or horseback riding or lots of things. anything can break it.
and i didn't say get it removed. i said the doctor could cut it for you. they don't remove it from your body. they make an incision in it and bascially cut the skin in half.
and even after your hymen is "broken", it can still sometimes be seen for a while after until it eventually wears away.
And as for tampons, I've never been able to really wear them, and I haven't have a hymen for many years..not because of virginity, but because I was active as a child and a tomboy and just lost it a long long time ago. The reason I thought it was my hymen when I had problems was because I, like a lot of people, didn't know where your hymen was and thought that it was inside the vagina and not on the outside. Once I learned more about it, I could figure out what my problem was.
Read around this site some and there are bunches of other sites that can give you information on sex and your anatomy and you might just learn something about yourself you never knew.
And like I said, the first time with anyone, whether it's your "first time" or not can be extremely awkward and can cause pain and all sorts of things, including not being able to really get the penis in. It's not that uncommon. You're always nervous when you're with a new person and that can cause many difficulties.
Thank you soo much for responding!
First off, I'd like to say that I might be at fault because I entered into a "casual sex" or "hookup" situation as a virgin, which is stupid, even if we are friends.
The frustrating part about it all is that the same thing happened with the one and only other guy I was with a few years ago. He couldn't get his penis in and the condom kept slipping off. I realize that the both of us have to be turned on, but for some reason, it just doesn't happen. Is there something I can do to keep us both turned on while he's inserting his penis inside of me?
The short canal theory is interesting. I don't really know. I think it's my hymen because I couldn't even wear tampons until after this guy fingered me. I think if we tried it again we would be a little more successful.
I'd love to have my hymen removed! In fact, if it doesn't work out with this guy, that is exactly what I am going to do.
You're right, I only left him this morning so I should give him time. He did say that although we were unsuccessful today, we would be tomorrow. But then again that could have been the alcohol talking. I'm just afraid he's going to cut me off completely and go after more experienced girls. But he's a decent guy and I doubt he'd be that big of a bastard. Plus he's a Scorpio, so he might see me as some kind of sexual project.
First off, was this your first time? Lots of people have difficulties their first time and it's definately not uncommon for people to have trouble getting the penis in.
Second off, It seems as though if you can get a tampon in and your fingers in, then he should atleast be able to get some of his penis in. Even if you have a thick hymen, something should be able to enter atleast a little ways (especially if you can get a tampon in there) and the hymen would just stretch.
Perhaps maybe, it's not your hymen? I though that was my problem at first because he could get what seemed like halfway in and then I'd get this shart pain...and that happened every time, with his penis or his fingers. And then I eventually conluded I have a somewhat short canal and I've now learned that even though I am wet, I am not wet enough on the inside so I require more lubrication and that cuts back on a lot of the pain.
But if it is infact your hymen, you can go to the doctor and have them cut it for you.
And third off, it's only been a day. So give him some time.
And if after a while, he still hasn't called you, perhaps he wasn't worth it. I find it silly to not call someone after only one time because that first time together, even if it's not your "first time", can be extremely awkward because you don't really know each other's bodies.