Far be it from me to say that going to a strip club or an adult bookstore together will not jump start your sex lives. First time I EVER enetered a strip club it was at my wife's insistence. While I enjoyed all the naked women I think she had the better time watching the men's behavior.
If you go to an adult bookstore DO try and actually find a useful book or magazine. I feel that the important thing here is that you BOTH want to work on this together. So go along with any ideas that he has and he should also go along with your ideas.

If you feel that things have gotten boring and you need a jumpstart you might want to just start all over with the most basic things. Relearn your partner's body and have him relearn yours. You both might discover some new things. You might even discover that things you either disliked or were not affected by 15 years ago now are and incredible turn on. Get a sex manual at that adult store of thru Amazon or some such company-go thru the manual together. Work your way through the basic towrd the more advanced stuff. Don't think -" I already know the basics"-sex is a full contact sport and practioners of sex, just like any athlete, have to review and polish their fundamental technique periodically. Joshua Bell still practices long tones and scales and arpeggios on his violin, why wouldn't we want to do the sexual equivalent if we want to be virtuosos?

You might want to take a look at the following sites
http://www.sexuality.org/index.html
massive website-take your time and visit it frequently

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/tantric/tantricsex.html

I asked my wife once to go to an adult store to pick out some new toys. She said she was afraid of running into someone she knows. She went anyway. As we were strolling the aisles, she ran into one of her MALE co-workers. She hasn't been back since!

I guess I'm a bit surprised that people are still reticent about such things. I haven't been to a strip club for quite a while now, but have visited quite a few in the past. I visit adult stores from time to time. Its no big deal, not much different to visiting a supermarket (sort of). I haven't run into anybody I know yet, but that doesn't bother me. I think I'd find it amusing actually.

shop for toys on the internet.

not as sexy, but the end result is exactly the same and you just may save a few dollars.

Rita, do you have a thought on why things have gotten stale??

CL - my question exactly. Perhaps reading the sticky posts herein will give her some ideas: notably The Program, Body Worship and The Posterior Fornix.

I've gone into adult stores with John, my boyfriend of 2 years (we're both 23). Strip clubs are where I personally would draw the line (fortunately John isn't into that anyway), because I feel that in a relationship the two people in love should be enough for each other. Books, movies, toys, etc. that they can do as a couple is one thing, but I feel it crosses a major line to bring a third living human being into it. Even though strippers don't participate (beyond lap dances, which I feel crosses the line into cheating), I would still see that as the man I love and who loves me choosing to seek some other woman to turn him on. Even if he was just looking, I would always wonder why he wanted to look at someone besides me, or why he NEEDS to look at someone besides me. I would recommend starting out with the bookstore and seeing if that satisfies you both. If not, just make sure you consider how YOU would feel having your husband take sexual pleasure from looking at (or worse, a lap dance from) another woman. If that truly does not bother you, then go for it, but if it makes you in the least bit uncomfortable, listen to that instinct. A man who loves you will understand and respect your wishes either way.

Hope this was helpful.

i LOVE going to strip clubs! its so fun! and especially if you have a group of friends preferably guys go with you. I like the topless ones..not the full nude... boobies are ok, but i dont want another girls junk all in my face.... not bare... just not my thing...
but either way, they are awesome if u can get over the fact of "oh my god im not gay, im not going to a strip club"
dont have to be gay or bi to go to a strip club and have fun!

Laur - it doesn't bother me for I am The One & Only EEK!! All others are just 'distractions' and not worth bothering about. The point being - YOUR self-esteem is the issue and that comes from "within", not from "without".

[quote=Lakebum;220057]I asked my wife once to go to an adult store to pick out some new toys. She said she was afraid of running into someone she knows. She went anyway. As we were strolling the aisles, she ran into one of her MALE co-workers. She hasn't been back since![/quote]

Precisely why shopping online for toys is the better option! I personally buy all my toys at www.spicygear.com because they have free USA shipping with no minimums required and they have a good selection.

I am in no way into vanilla sex. My wife is into vanilla but we compromise. I love lots of sex and in lots of ways but going to a strip club together is way down my list of things to do.

Why not dress up for him, talk real dirty during sex, play role playing games. One I like is to pretend I'm a masseuse and she comes in for a massage. She starts out in skimpy underwear but throughout her real massage I start feeling her up and touching her in the inappropriate spots. Then we end up having sex of course.

Or you or he could take a domineering role. Be dominant with him tell him you are in control and if he's bad you are going to do something bad. Start this story line out while you are stroking or blowing him. When he is highly aroused he will definitely go for anything you say. Tell him if he doesn't cum in 5 minutes you will be forced to lube your finger up and tickle his asshole. Or you will be forced to make him taste his cum. Ohh How naughty. Ok, you just found my fetish. Being forced to eat my own cum. If the idea of this controlling fetish sounds like a good idea to you then check out my real life stories at http://cumeatinghusband.com.

This is just one thing you could do. There are so many other things. What about giving him a bj or hj while you are fully clothed. Google that for more ideas. It's called cfnm sex. Clothed female nude male. That way that episode will be all about him.

Geez us guys are so easy. It's so simply for you. Just be upstairs in bed and say hey can you come here. When he comes up have your legs spread wide and be in the throws of passion while masturbating in front of him. That should spice it up.

Last but not least go to a tube porn site and look up all the categories of fetishes. In there you should surely find something that peaks your interest.

thanks

Prior to having our 2 children back to back, we would go to strip clubs quite often with friends. If you have every been to any clubs in my area, you would understand that we would go more for the humor of it all. Let me just say that most of the strippers should not have been strippers.

If I can't participate, I'm bored.

At the very least I say go to the bookstore as long as it's a classy, not sleazy place. My wife agreed tO go a while back as we are in what sounds to be the same rut. She was so nervous walking in but soon we were laughing and joking like kids and having a ball. Recently on a trip to Boston she was the one who suggested going into a bookstore we passed while walking the streets. With the right mindset it can be an exciting new adventure and give some insight as to what your partner might be curious about that you may not know.