Hello Denise, welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. If you click on the site's Home page you will find even more information.

> recently i started have sex with my boyfriend and he wants too eat me out. but i"m a little self conscience because i feel that i"m not normal!

How "normal" are any of us? Take a good look at the passersby on any sidewalk or mall. Do we all look the same? No, of course not. Our smiles are different, our eyes are different, our skin tone is different, and so on and on. We also like various aspects of ourselves and others we see, as well as features we do not. We are what we are unless there are some aspects we can do something about.

I believe the most important point to believe in is that when we fall for a person, we fall hook, line, and, sinker. When your boyfriend declares his love for you, believe him. When your boyfriend offers compliments about you and your body, believe him. It is self defeating to second guess what he knows to be true.

> my vagina looks i guess i can say normal!
but one of my inner lips (like the lips inside the lips)
(sorry idk what its called libia something) but yeah one is longer
and slightly darker!! is that normal??

All are normal. The "Vulva" of which the Vagina, Labia Majora and Labia Minora (lips), Urethra, Mons, are all part can take on many different looks. In fact there is at least one culture in Africa or perhaps So. America in which mothers massage and tug constantly on a daughter's inner labia in order to make them larger than normal because in that culture it is considered a sign of beauty. To believe that yours are abnormal when there is simply a wide range of normality is a sign of body image insecurity. If your boyfriend likes them, that should be enough for you.

They will be darker. Shucks, take a good long admiring look at your boyfriend's scrotum. You will find it darker than his surrounding skin. This is normal. (Oh, and just to add to the discussion, a person's clitoris like the male penis can vary considerably in size, so as long as yours works, that is all that is important.)

> and anotheer thing is i havent cummed yet! is that normal?? its been 5 times already hes cummed every time!! but i havent is that normal??

Please read thru today's posts, I just answered a version of this question. The answer to your question is "perhaps". Why? Because the answers depend upon circumstances. Girls in general are not driven to masturbate like boys when exiting puberty. Learning to climax and have orgasms requires a concerted and conscious effort and happens later in life if at all. You cannot expect a partner to give you an orgasm. Each one of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can do is to help each other achieve them. To learn how, please read the articles in the Index about masturbation and learning how to help each other climax.

> and he always tells me to expirement with my vagina so he can know what i like or what feels good.

Kudos for your boyfriend, although, not knowing how or what to do is not helpful and this is why some of us have written all the articles listed in the Index. Because knowledge is empowering, I suggest that both of you read each of the articles more than once and discuss what you have learned.

There are several articles that discuss the female "O", including one that teaches you how to learn. Once you know what to do and can climax regularly and consistently, then you can show him what to do by taking his hand in yours and moving it in ways that please you and will bring you to the brink of an orgasm and beyond. This is covered in detail. As important is the reverse--you learning what it takes to bring him to the brink of an orgasm and beyond. Communication and feedback are keys and are fully explained.

> but i just cant i feel wrong doing it!!

Why?
* Does it have anything to do with the beliefs you were raised with: "good girls don't touch themselves"?
* Religious teachings?
* Cultural norms?

What are your thoughts about boys who masturbate?
What are your thoughts about girls who masturbate?

Here are the advantages that enjoying orgasms provide as copied from an article on masturbation:
BENEFITS OF MASTURBATING FOR BOY AND FOR GIRLS--

What are the effects of masturbation happening everyday for a few years including cumming?

Isn't cumming the point?

"For both boys and girls, learning to masturbate to climax helps establish the connections between the millions of sensitive nerve endings in the skin and the pleasure center in the brain. It is a natural part of our maturation. Mother Nature gives us the pleasure center in the brain, the nerve endings, and, the autonomic nervous system that transmits the signals back and forth, yet through some twist of evolution the connects are not established. Practice is how this is accomplished. Boys do this rather matter-of-factly right out of puberty while girls often begin later, if at all.

So, the main reason a girl should learn to masturbate is to transmute from a pre-orgasmic entity into an orgasmic being. It is a learned experience. It is also a conscious decision and effort. For boys, learning is pretty much an automatic activity from the beginning, and a driving force often willing us from then on. For girls, while orgasms are enjoyable, they are not the necessity they are for boys.

Other benefits to masturbating to climax are:
a) stress relief
* sexual
* emotional
* physical

b) as an aid to falling asleep

c) relieving menstrual cramps

d) strengthens the body's immune system and helps
build resistance to common infections

e) stimulates the body to release mood elevating endorphins

f) reduces yeast infections

g) strengthens the pelvic muscles

h) masturbation provides an excellent cardiovascular workout!

i) increases sexual self awareness

...and in a follow-up to the original post, noting that masturbation is also "FUN"!

I hope this is of help. After doing some reading, please do not hesitate to ask questions. We are here to help.

-doc

Let us try a simpler and shorter response. All of us are a little different from one side to the other. The difference in you lips would be quite normal.

As for the lack of orgasm, read around the Board. That is almost automatic for a male but we women have to learn. Masturbation is the best training. Look around here for ideas and then visit clitical.com. That is an entire site devoted to female masturbation.

I do hope that he is wearing condoms (properly) and you have vaginal spermicide in you.

Why don't you google the word "vagina" under images and get a true sense of the variety out there.

As one who has seen, ummm thousands and thousands? (heck I'm not even sure whether I should say tens of thousands or not?), I can assure you, no two look the same and the vast majority of them (not the ones off of STD sites as a rule...), are pretty tasty looking. :D

Alternatively, grab a hand mirror, have a look down there and say to yourself "oh, that's what a vagina looks like" and really believe it.

Fact is, that's not true either. The vagina is (correct me if I'm wrong dear doctors), the muscular tube inside the body that is the birth canal leading to the uterus and the place where the man's penis goes during vaginal intercourse. The outer labia, inner labia, clitoris, mons venus, and the rest of that stuff, is the vulva properly speaking. Cunnilingus is carried out on the vulva, not the vagina as such. No point really as there are few nerve endings in the vagina...

Now that that anatomy lesson is over, we can carry on with our regularly scheduled programming.

Cheers!

:D

mines is the same!, im self consious about it and nothing else i am litterly to confident in any other area !xxxxx

Sort of related; I find I have a lot of white heads on my labia, its not an STI, i've had them forever, and I can pop some of them and it's clearly bathroom tissue residue. Any ideas on how to get rid of them??

Cleansing very thoroughly either in the shower, on a bidet or soaking in the tub.

hi i m 20 yrs old nd want to loose my virgintiy but i don't know what is the best position . Can anybody help me to say what is the first sex position.plz help me

[QUOTE=sexyjony5230;264516]hi i m 20 yrs old nd want to loose my virgintiy but i don't know what is the best position . Can anybody help me to say what is the first sex position.plz help me[/QUOTE]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and it Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. We hope that before people place a post that they look around the site, first. I urge you to familiarize yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about--like yours. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information, like the illustrated, animated, sexual positions.

As for the question about which position is best, this has been asked and answered dozens of times. Please read the articles listed under the heading of SEX e.g. INTERCOURSE on Page Two of the Index. There you will find several articles and links that will provide answers to the question you asked as well as those you should have information about yet have not yet asked.

We encourage questions; however, we also expect people to avail themselves of the vast information already on the site, first. In addition to the Index, Sticky Posts, and the forums in general, there are two search engines to help you find information, and often more rapidly than waiting for someone around the world to reply.

I hope this is of help.

Hi there,

Your vagina is pretty "NORMAL". Remember everyone is different and made up differently, love yourself for who you are. You should have tried cumming on your own before you had sex, you have to know your body inside out to know what works for you to get you where you want to go. :D

take a look at it this way
Your womanly region works. It isnt turning green (HULK SMASH!) or purple (the color of royalty). You dont have a third arm growing down there. No third eye, ear, no second nose. No teeth. Nothing unatural.

So yes, you have a normal vagina (to be specific, the entrance).

every thing is normal do not blushing and allowed him

They all look a little different.

if this is any value to anyone who reads this thread then your welcome. these are drawings so it shouldn't cross the line.

[url=http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://11.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kv... Vulvas

Those are drawings with high educational value, so how could it be wrong? Even if they were pictures, it wouldn't be wrong from my point of view. Women shouldn't be ashamed of what they look like down there! I actually donated a picture of mine to a project against shame. They use it in a slideshow during workshops now. Anonymously off course ;)

There used to be a great initiative: the Genital Art Gallery. Here people could share and explore what every-day-genitals look like. And most of all: be proud of it instead of ashamed! It was created by Betty Dodson; a sexeducator, writer, researcher, artist and most of all: fighter for women considering their sexuality in every way. I browsed it in the days I was troubled with uncertainty of what it was supposed to look like and felt more confident after. It was taken down some time ago as it became subject to laws of adult entertainment. Which I thought was so sad; how our genitals are classified only as a field of "entertainment", instead of simply being part of us. But it seems like they rebuilt it :) See: [url=http://dodsonandross.com/gallery/genital-art]Genital Art Gallery | Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

yes i was just covering all bases since my link in the sexting psa was censored. that is a really good idea to have a genital gallery because if fact most learn and create expectations from porn. so this would be an offset to the adult industry.

we also have here where i live in california a kinesiology gallery i will call it. bodies that have been donated for science are structured in movements to show the body in many forms. these models for lack of a better term don't have skin so you can see all the muscles and tendons in their natural state. unfortunately i haven't visited yet because the smell wasn't very good when they were setting up the gallery, so im afraid to go in. i have seen it on tv though and it is interesting.

The other thing to think about is "you want to change yourself to fit some idea of what you SHOULD look like?!?!"

I mean really, if your lover wanted you to be 2 ft tall and weight 600 lbs would you? I doubt it. But just because it is your genitals, you go all 'eeewwwww, nasty' and want to make yourself over into some mythical ideal.

RUBBISH!

Either he/she loves you as you come or he's/she's NOT worth your time!

Get some self-esteem willya, please!

[QUOTE=big916;268687]we also have here where i live in california a kinesiology gallery i will call it. bodies that have been donated for science are structured in movements to show the body in many forms. these models for lack of a better term don't have skin so you can see all the muscles and tendons in their natural state. unfortunately i haven't visited yet because the smell wasn't very good when they were setting up the gallery, so im afraid to go in. i have seen it on tv though and it is interesting.[/QUOTE]
Is the gallery you mention something like [url=http://www.bodiestheexhibition.com/about-the-exhibition.html]The Bodies? You can view a 4 min impression here; [url=http://www.bodyworlds.com/nl/rotterdam/impressies.html] Exhibition Bodyworlds

Those bodies are preserved by a special technique with liquid plastic, called plastination. I've seen a documentary on it. Really fascinating how these bodies are molded into positions. The technique was invented by [url=http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/gunther_von_hagens/life_in_science.html]Gun... von Hagens. Quite an eccentric type. I feel a bit ambiguous about the whole thing... Apart from the extreme educational value, he also seems to consider himself artist. And for example; they have a [url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/3249044/Flayed-babies-bodies-included-in... woman with whom you can see the fetus in her belly. Extraordinarily fascinating! It's like pregnant Barbie in life-size ;) Yet the moment I realize these bodies all have been living and breathing human beings, it kinda gets to me. I have visited university musea of anatomy, which is rather interesting, but it does give me weird feeling in my stomach at times. These plastinated bodies are so much more than the dried bodyparts and (deformed) fetuses on alcohol, that I'm not sure how I would respond to it. Adding that the exhibition is really pricey, you stand in line for hours and once you leave the room with the bodies (feeling not well for instance), you can't enter again... All combined has stopped me from going even though the exhibition has been in Rotterdam twice. It's alluring yet repulsing.

Yes RR that is probably the same company here where I live. The pregnant women is very interesting to see. I think he is an artist in the sense that a photographer is considered one. Both capture what has already been created and focuses on what they want you to see.

Yes it would creep me out I think to know this was a living human being. I certainly wouldnt want to want it a biology class and see that instead of a fake skeleton.

[QUOTE=denise<3;250685]recently i started have sex with my boyfriend
and he wants too eat me out.
but i"m a little self conscience because i feel that i"m not normal!
my vagina looks i guess i can say normal!
but one of my inner lips (like the lips inside the lips)
(sorry idk what its called libia something) but yeah one is longer
and slightly darker!! is that normal??

and anotheer thing is i havent cummed yet!
is that normal??
its been 5 times already
hes cummed every time!!
but i havent is that normal??

and he always tells me to expirement with my vagina
so he can know what i like or what feels good.
but i just cant i feel wrong doing it!!
ANY HELP!! :O[/QUOTE]

I used to think it was a big deal that my inner labia were darker, but being half asian, there's some skin colorations that are just different. Having very dark, thick hair, sometimes I think that may deal with it also. But my inner labia do stick out a bit too. All the guys I dated and were intimate with never said a thing and honestly, the first time they ever went down on me, they went straight for it, no questions asked. I realized I was just feeling shy.

Just some tips for any one, young or old, who just hasn't gotten comfortable with it yet:

When you're ready to explore yourself, make sure you're alone. Make the setting romantic, like a spa but more sensual. Buy yourself some sexy lingerie. I personally just love lingerie as it is, because it feels like I'm dressing up for both myself and my man, and it mentally it gets me in the mood. It's common knowledge that for a woman, orgasms start in the brain. Sometimes reading a steamy sex scene helps. I'm not gonna lie, Anya Bast is a favorite of mine.

Prep yourself ahead of time. I like a good, hot shower to loosen me up. If you like baths, try a warm bath and slowly feel yourself all over while you bathe. This will let you be used to touching yourself. Big key- relax.

Get yourself comfortable on the bed or on the couch. Being slightly propped or just having good neck support is important. You want to feel as relaxed as possible, like your spoiling yourself. Close your eyes and slowly draw your hands around your body, touching places you think are sensitive. The more bold you feel, get to your breasts and then nipples, and see which makes hits the right buttons. Sometimes your neck or behind your ears are sensitive. Just think of it as a full body massage.

Now, when you feel more turned on, try stroking around your hips and slowly inward to your thighs. Work your way between your legs. Then try touching your clit hood and test how sensitive you are. Run your fingers over your labia to see which parts feel "fun."

When it comes to fingering inside, make sure your fingernails are clipped. It's safer for your first time, and keeps you from having to clear under your nails later on. I tried it with long nails a few times and it irritated me having my liquids under them, lol.

Start with one finger, and get used to your inner anatomy by slowly wiggling it around. You'll note where your gspot is, and typically will feel your cervix if you reach in far enough. Until you're turned on, the vaginal walls are only roughly 3 inches long.

Lubes:
Later on, when you're more comfortable, you can experiment with lube. Water based are usually most friendly, especially if you want a toy later on. If you're just fooling around and want something nondescript, olive oil is your best bet. I've seen plenty of research and used it myself. It's perfectly safe for insertion. I love how olive oil feels. Yes, it may not be some flowery or fruity smell, but it's just oily enough to allow my fingers to glide along and doesn't take gobs. Others like using grape seed oil, but it's really not something I could find easily. Olive oil can be bought anywhere, and because a little goes a long way, you don't need to buy it so much. The cheapest brand I found was Gem, and it comes in a smaller bottle also that was under $3 I think. Surprisingly, Wal-Mart has their Equate brand of lube gel for around $3 also, and people have given it good reviews. For those over 18, you can always get KY and those other popular brands. I mentioned those because, if you live with your family or have more prude friends, or simply feel embarrassed, a sneaky alternative is fun.

[QUOTE=Poethe;263965]Sort of related; I find I have a lot of white heads on my labia, its not an STI, i've had them forever, and I can pop some of them and it's clearly bathroom tissue residue. Any ideas on how to get rid of them??[/QUOTE]

I've had some pimple issues before, as well as odd growths that felt like inner pimples on my labia. Make sure that you aren't drying out your skin there. You do need to lotion the outer area. Just be careful not to have lotion inside your vaginal region. Olive oil also is a good moisturizer, not just a good sneaky lube. I actually use olive oil for many forms of conditioning and skin moisturizer. Pimples in general can form from lack of moisture, or having clogged oil ducts. An almost hot wash cloth over the area for a few minutes keeps them clear and draw antibodies to fight any hidden pimple-like infections. Also, you might want to try the "manual" bidet, what Filipinos use, called the Tabo. Basically, with a tiny bit of soap, barely a film, and a large cup of warm water (recycled large fountain drink cup works) use your hand (after splashing yourself with one slight pour) and wash the area thoroughly. It's not as gross as it sounds. You can lightly dab dry with tissue afterwards. I feel much cleaner, and if you have a heated moment with your date, you never feel gross because you're always prepared and fresh. Just wash your hands with hot water and lots of antibacterial soap, and you're fine. It's kind of an old hat for me to do this since I grew up with the Filipino culture, and you don't have to spend money on a bidet. It uses less water, too.

"and he always tells me to expirement with my vagina
so he can know what i like or what feels good.
but i just cant i feel wrong doing it!! "

Thus the 'hatred of her body' reaches its INTENDED conclusion - to make her fell ICKY and that her body is NASTY. Thus ensuring that she will permit others to control her sexuality. Side effects include anorexia, bulimia, un-needed plastic surgery, "I'm fat" insecurity, Victorian timidity and so on.

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG about your body. It is your body - OWN it and masturbation to orgasm is almost mandatory if a woman is to acheive orgasm via intercourse. You wonder why he achieves orgasm while you haven't? Your squeamishness is precisely why. Can you imagine a guy NOT playing with himself just because he's been 'told' it is wrong? Probably not. More than most likely, he'll play even if he feels guilty later. Because orgasm feels so very,very,very good.

Clear the nonsense you were taught about girls, boys and sex from your brain and start actively exploring. Take control of your own sexuality, body and of your relationships.

You're right, it shouldn't feel wrong. Obviously she should take her time, but what I suggested will make any woman feel sexy. Feeling relaxed and training the mind to enjoy it will also make yourself feel better. Masturbation itself has also been good for me period wise. It has lots of benefits.

I also almost wonder if the guy is helping at all. Is it just me or do some of you read it that way too? Now if he really is a sweet guy, I understand. But in my own experience, guys I wasn't really feeling the love with, I couldn't cum. With my current boyfriend (and future husband) sometimes I have to go play because I think about him and I simply can't help it. As a single woman, I'd just make it a fun activity.

Masturbation is about loving yourself. You may not find yourself as sexy or pretty at first, but take time to explore yourself, and see all your good points for once.

'Sexy' is not something a woman feels about herself. She is just 'me'. What she has to feel about herself is: HAPPY. She has to LIKE herself and her body - just as it is- right here, right now. And that requires a change in her thoughts, opinions, and policies regarding sex and sexuality.

Change your Habits of Mind, denise!

'Sexy' comes with the experience of the evidences of desire from others. There are women who look like "YUCK!" and yet men are all over her - they follow her down the street even if they're driving buses at the time. Such women can make a sewage plant 'sexy' just by walking by it. Then there are absolute goddesses who men avoid like the plague 'just because' and not because of anything she does, says, or thinks.