This is one whopper of a run on sentence. Where are the periods and the paragraphs?

Please use the Queen's English and sentence structure in the future. Your very long paragraph is way too exhausting for me to read, to determine where one thought ends and another begins, and put any effort into a reply.

Sorry about that, been up a long time and distractions make it hard to properly review these, my english is rusty, but nothing that a few pages of writing cant fix, tyvm for the heads up. It is nice to see forum maintained, making it a pleasure to write proper, the original was huge and I shortened it real quick. I probably had to leave and posted in order not to lose anything.

I'll be checking everything and making sure it is presentable. Please do not hesitate to correct me if you feel the need. I do wish to better my language skills and appreciate it.

[QUOTE=Dankovitch;264047]About three weeks ago, I was a total virgin ( no sexual contact at all)

My gf was very horny and she wanted to suck my cock for the first time. I was rock hard because I had been massaging her naked body for over half an hour. She grabbed my erect penis in her hand so hard, like it was made of steel. She jerked it so hard that it really hurt.

Her lips were nice and soft, but when she put it in her mouth she sucked it ferociously, it was like a stinging pain. She was being so rough that it really hurt and I didn't feel pleasure. She asked me to let her know when I was about to cum ( but I knew that with her roughness I wouldn't be able to )

.....so I went down on her and fingered her until she came, then I had intercourse with her.

The question is: how do you tell a woman that you like a gentle touch from her?.....I would have cum easily if she had stroked it softly and been gentle. If she had made little circles around the tip with her tongue. Why was she so rough?[/QUOTE]

Telling her or reminding her you are new to this, and that your skin is very sensitive at the moment will most likely make her understand she must be smooth. The most important thing is to be honest and comprehensive, if her ego or sexuality feels attacked she may feel hurt seeing it has a lack of performance on her part.

In fact, I said to a women I had been dating for quite a while once, that she was using her teeth and it was not enjoyable, I must have had a bad tone of voice, since she immediately started crying, quite frankly I did not like that reaction at all, the opposite would have been scoffed at surely.

One more thing, don't bottle your thoughts up inside, make sure you talk with her whenever you can, does not have to be right before or after or during, it will make it easier for her to make demands, and also the opposite

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Just ask her 'could you be gentle please'.Some guys like to be treated roughly by girls when having bj's.Maybe a previous partner of hers liked it rough.I personally prefer to give my guys the gentle touch.Starting out sucking and licking gently and flicking the head of his penis with my tongue, gradually building till he can't take anymore and comes in my mouth or all over my breasts.

Yes,not everyone likes it rough,i do sometimes.It depends on who i'm with and how horny and aroused i am.But i do prefer my man to go slow and gently as it can take me a while to come and being too rough only makes my pussy sore.

[QUOTE=Dankovitch;264047][COLOR="blue">About three weeks ago, I was a total virgin ( no sexual contact at all)[/COLOR]

...and now the real learnin' begins....

[COLOR="blue">My gf was very horny and she wanted to suck my cock for the first time. I was rock hard because I had been massaging her naked body for over half an hour. She grabbed my erect penis in her hand so hard, like it was made of steel. She jerked it so hard that it really hurt.[/COLOR]

Yup, been there had that done to me, too. I believe it is fair to say that many guys have had this uncomfortable experience. Chalk it up to:

1. No communication between partners
2. No show and tell {demonstration)
3. No feedback on how you are responding to her "caresses"
and for what you need now/next.

Please understand that relationships are partnerships, including the romantic and sexual aspects. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other, together.

Girls/women do not inherently know how to stroke a penis. They do not have one, except in miniature and 9/10 buried beneath a layer of skin. Your complaint is often echoed by women who state that men do not know or understand how to stimulate her girly parts. Think about this.

Please read the articles listed in the Index about how to give each other a h/j, b/j, and what I refer to as the "dynamic duo"--both at once. The answers seem so logical and as easy as 1, 2, 3.

[COLOR="blue">Her lips were nice and soft, but when she put it in her mouth she sucked it ferociously, it was like a stinging pain. She was being so rough that it really hurt and I didn't feel pleasure. She asked me to let her know when I was about to cum ( but I knew that with her roughness I wouldn't be able to )[/COLOR]

Yup! this is all too common yet so simple to fix when you think about it.

[COLOR="blue">The question is: how do you tell a woman that you like a gentle touch from her?.....I would have cum easily if she had stroked it softly and been gentle. If she had made little circles around the tip with her tongue. Why was she so rough?[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

1. Demonstrate how you masturbate
2. Take her hand in yours and move it over the course
of several sessions until she learns to mimic your technique
3. Provide feedback (verbal and non-verbal) on how you are
responding and for what you need now/next.

None of us are mind readers and when we are masturbating we have the benefit of built in feedback in order to make minor mid course corrections. Not so when we turn the reins over to our partner.

While each of us, male and female, may understand the basic mechanics involved in stimulating a penis or clitoris, and while each of masturbates in the same basic way for our gender, each of us have slight variations unique and specific to each of us. Think "show and tell" -- now, go practice, together.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

[QUOTE=raunchy gal;264048]Just ask her 'could you be gentle please'.[/QUOTE]

RG, your recommendation is good as far as it goes; however, in expanding upon what I said, above, it is necessary to define "gentle" or the how-to of it. Every person you say this to will have a different interpretation.

When stroking the shaft of a penis it is not at all unusual for a woman to make her strokes jerky (with abrupt starts and stops at the ends of a stroke). Men usually make the transitions up and down much less jerky or abrupt and as a result, softer. This is one aspect of teaching that must be demonstrated.

-doc

Open your mouth and say OUCH!.
Then SHOW her how you like it done.
Guide her hand for her if necessary.

If you are mature enough for sex, you should be mature enough to communicate as well as give and recieve constructive critiscim. Try, "a litle easier/softer baby", "I like/need a softer touch", "not so rough, are you angry with me or something". If she gets offended then she really shouldn't be in a sexual relationship to begin with.
Look, unless you speak up, she isn't going to learn and you'll never get the prize you seek. It's your package and if she wants you to share it, she needs to know how to handle your goods!

[QUOTE=LustyLisa;264343][COLOR="blue">If you are mature enough for sex, you should be mature enough to communicate as well as give and recieve constructive critiscim.[/COLOR]

I find this an interesting observation and comment. I tend to agree; however, it is important to keep in mind the "why" of this venue--to teach. People come to learn. That a person should be mature enough to communicate is not unlike telling a ten year old that s/he should be old enough to ride a bicycle without instruction and without guidance. As many of you know, I am a Ballroom dance instructor on the side. It is not uncommon for students to take a verbal instruction and interpret it according to some personal set of references instead of word for word. If I have ten men in a class and give them explicit step by step instructions with show and tell tossed in, I will guarantee you that there will be ten different interpretations. The same for the women in the class. My point being, you can't just say "do this" and expect that a person will understand how "this" is accomplished. Once tested, more than one will likely need some tweaking to what they are doing.

I have been criticized a few times for writing long winded responses to people, yet the reason why is because we often have only one shot at the question(s) in their post, so I decided years ago to give the person a specific answer as well as the background info. In addition there are usually dozens of people reading each thread who will benefit from the responses all of us choosing to reply provide.

To "communicate" is the vehicle. We should also provide instruction on how to operate that vehicle effectively. So, just saying "drive it" is little different from saying talk, or, "speak up!"--yet without giving how-to information.

[COLOR="blue">Try, "a litle easier/softer baby", "I like/need a softer touch", "not so rough,[/COLOR]

Good suggestions--followed perhaps by: "here, let me show you...."

[COLOR="blue">are you angry with me or something". If she gets offended then she really shouldn't be in a sexual relationship to begin with. [/COLOR]

This is not a good response. For one thing it carries a negative rather than a positive connotation. Second, more to the point, when a woman grasps a penis for the first few excursions into manual sex, her movements are often quite jerky and abrupt which bring about pain. In this example you can pretty much guarantee she is anything but angry, yet without having been coached or shown how to stroke correctly, her chances of doing it correctly are less than 50/50. When we know better, we do better.

[COLOR="blue">Look, unless you speak up, she isn't going to learn and you'll never get the prize you seek. It's your package and if she wants you to share it, she needs to know how to handle your goods![/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Yup! agreed. It t'aint rocket science, yet neither is it a guessing game, folks. This is more like show and tell, accompanied by feedback.

Point well taken. In my experience the most direct manner of the request/suggestion/directions has been the most effective. I've asked my husband "why so ruff, are you mad at me" and we laughed about it but in the end it worked! Sometimes the one experienceing pain isn't going to be the most delicate when asking for a lighter touch ( especaillay after trying less direct approaches several times and the show and tell tactic a few times )!