Definably I'm needing to orgasm better. The sex with my fiance is awesome. Just can't seem to cum at all with him lately. I'm usually able to from anal or doggie-style( vag) with playing with myself. It takes a lot of work. I don't get enough foreplay from my man either. He's just ready for sex instantly. I need at-least 20 minutes. How do I get him to too and say it to him. I have a hard time saying things in words sometimes. Any tips on having a orgasm more?
Sun, 06/27/2010 - 02:53
#1
How to orgasm better with fiance?
Open your mouth and TELL HIM, dammit. "I want 20 minutes of foreplay." You think the man reads minds or something? Jeez! Give the man his chance.
You GOT to be assertive with him. Most women would have trouble trying to orgasm that way. And why aren't you on top, why isn't he performing oral on you? But yes, most importantly, making an effort to arouse you. He just wants his and is leaving it up to you to pleasure yourself. Both you are missing out here. So talk to him, be strong, if he's rushing let him know garbage like that won't get him anywhere. He should be completely aware of your body, why are you not communicating your needs to him? Maybe he just feels you don't care that much about sex and it's just your gift to him. He's missing out on how enjoyable it is to pleasure his partner, and if he truly don't care about that, you should leave him. That's what I would do anyway.
Dear CG,
Have you read any of the articles listed in the Index? There are several by EEK, Brandye, and myself, that discuss the how-to's of making out, and, the female "O" in all of its forms.
What type of personality does your boyfriend have? By that, I am asking if he is attentive toward you and your needs in other areas, or, does he pretty much adopt the attitude of "I'm right", damn the torpedoes and thus not interested in any input from you, regardless of the situation?
It is time for you to remind him of the ol' adage: "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." It may be that he believes he knows what you need and want therefore doesn't believe he has to check and confirm along the way; or, is the situation that he simply is trying to be a good lover and simply does not anything is is or is not doing needs changing?
> I don't get enough foreplay from my man either. He's just ready for sex instantly. I need at-least 20 minutes.
How you answer the questions, above, dictates how you proceed with this requirement. You certainly are not alone in this requirement, in fact, you can do a forum search and find many many replies in which this time requirement has been expressed to others. At least one of the articles listed in the Index addresses the arousal differences between the genders.
If he is cooperative and truly interested in your pleasure, then I recommend that the two of you together or independently read the articles listed in the Index and discuss what you have learned. Knowledge is empowering and I am simply recommending to him that it is foolish to believe that he either knows enough, knows it all, or, that he does not need your input and feedback.
The matter of communication and providing feedback and their importance has been a matter of discussion. He needs to be aware and understand that making love is not what we do to each other; rather what we do with and for each other in partnership. What is your boyfriend's position on this?
I hope he is open to pleasing as well as pleasuring both of you, not self serving and insensitive to your needs. Either way, please do the reading, have the discussions, and, enlist his help. If he truly cares about how to be(come) a great lover, he will be interested in adding to what he already knows. If not, then he needs to be made aware that what he is doing is not working. How he responds will give you a clear understanding of how to proceed with your relationship.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?