Well folks, I need your advice.
I've gone for 31 years only having sex once.
I'm now 33 and just not interested in having a relationship at all.
I've basically decided that if I'm to enjoy anything at all of what sex has to offer, prostitutes it will be.
I've started down that road (though to be honest it's been a bit boring), but I see few other alternatives.
Women are infinitely too complex and relationships too dangerous (in my view) to engage. Too many incomprehensible rules, regulations to getting anywhere. Then there is the psycho aspect (like the one girlfriend I had whom I almost married - thank god I dodged that bullet. Thank god for her sake too, I'm a mess).
Eh... Hmm... Am I actually asking for advice? Perhaps not.
So I'll ask the question, how many other men feel this way? Probably not many here, but if you hit a punter's board (pooner's or Johns for those in North America) you'll probably find a few.
Discuss.
Thanks.
The Wet One
There are women on the other side of this equation. I have a friend with the desire for sex and no entanglements. She has a friend with whom she has dinner and sex once a week. Arrangement is for no contact outside of Tuesday evenings except to inform of non-availability. They take turns paying for dinner.
I had a friends with benefits arrangement in med school. We were both to overworked to address a relationship. As far as I could tell we were the only sexually satisfied people in the class - including the married ones.
Must be cheaper and safer than hitting the pickup spots. Use a little imagination.
Wetsuit:
You might find women who are seeking true friendships and sex on the side--no emotional attachment beyond good friends. These are the ones you can go to a movie with, laugh, have fun, and sex when there is no love involved.
Seek a good friend; generally outlast relationships. However, often many people use the words FWB too loosely. In need of one currently! LOL!
While I appreciate what you are suggesting, that requires the time and effort of searching. I'm not the most socially adept person, so this is difficult for me to comprehend.
The other thing is that I would like the woman with whom I'm having sex to meet some criteria (ok, that's the most shallow thing in the world, but I stand by it).
How long would it take to find the a woman fitting into the category you're speaking of? I've wasted 33 years of my life already, no time for that now. Plus there is the risk of a relationship there which is a risk that I am unwilling to take. Granted, there's a risk of a relationship with a prostitute too, but it seems far less likely to occur. Note, if it's not clear, I mean a romantic relationship.
I suppose I'm being a chump as I could, in theory, get it for free, but I do not understand how this achieved. Plus, I want to have sex with what I can afford, not what I can get.
Hmmm... Perhaps I'm simply too retarded to figure this out. Geez, I should join a monastary (sp?) and just give it up. It's not meant to be...
Sigh...
Try some of the sites, plenty of fish, Adult friend finder, I want u. com, etc. Establish a profile and be very specific about what you want. Over years I met men who made great friends & had all the sex benefits. Over years we had established deep friendships; one needed a date for a wedding and the regular sex was great. Much better than a "bootie call with NSA".
I am still good friends with many, they have since married, and now are just friends--the time I am talking of the on/off sex relationship lasted 8 years until we became platonic. Happened fast, I was recently divorced & just looking for a fun friend to go out with and for sex.
I would never subscribe (pay) to a site BTW just a profile and let people contact me if seriously interested.
Skip the monastery!
Join some activity that has more women than men. Dancing class, reading club, gardening club, church, use your imagination. Many of those women are looking for waht you are and are disappointed at finding more women than men.
Or. just write off the advice here as inappropriate and do what you want.
I have no problem with someone opting for paid sex, depending on how they go about it. It shouldn't be viewed as a substitute for a relationship though. Relationships can be very difficult to establish for some people, and there are lots of pitfalls. In the meantime, people have physical needs that cannot, and should not, be denied.
Why have a relationship though? It's such a pain in the ass that I might as well be shoving pins under my fingernails. I disagree with the who physical needs thing. My hand has served me well all my life so far and could well continue to do so. I just felt like actually having sex because I figured why not? Why shouldn't I have sex, so I did.
I'm not looking for love which is presumeably what relationships are about. I want sex. Period. I've had it now, and it was sort of dull. The gropings I was involved in during my ill founded relationship were more exciting in some ways, but not worth putting up with a psycho drama queen. In the meantime, I suspect that I will return to solitary masturbation.
CHEERS! :)
Question???? Is the desire for the "pro" simply because more than likely
this will NOT involve emotional ties?? Hence, no worry about a true
relationship evolving?? What are the "shallow" requirements just for the
sake of discussion. These should be interesting?
That is certainly part of it. It's also the matter of certainty. It's proven to be quite boring to be honest, the sex that is. The sex has been, well, rather a let down. I suppose that figures.
The shallow requirements? Not sure I follow you... Female and living is a start. I'm not that picky to be honest. Also, I only seek out the pro's in environments where I can be reasonably sure (as sure as anyone can be about anything in this world) that their participation in the business is wholly of their own free will. One can never be perfectly sure, to be sure, but one can be more certain than not in some circumstances.
Why the interest?
Masturbation will satisfy the need to ejaculate, but I think there is another basic need, which is the need for touch. No amount of masturbation can satisfy that need.
I'm not talking about love here, either. Love seems to be a one in a million chance. The right two people have to meet in the right circumstances for it to happen, and both people have to feel the 'chemistry'. The odds seem to be heavily stacked against it. With or without love though, people have a physical need to touch and be touched. There is a need for physical intimacy, which one should not deny to themselves just because they haven't found love. Personally, I think that need is the most powerful one of all.
Wet_suit_one, don't put yourself down just because you haven't formed a relationship at 33. I'm considerably older than that, and am in a similar situation. I know how frustrating it is, but its not the be all and end all. Getting too cynical about it can be a trap too. Then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
As I mentioned earlier, I have no problem with the fact that you have chosen to opt for paid sex. If the experiences were not satisfactory, then I would say it is really a matter of finding someone who can give you the quality of experience that you seek. (And I am speaking from some personal experience here!)
But for goodness sake, don't write off sex just because your initial experiences were not the greatest. First experiences are often disappointing, but practice makes perfect, and learning can be fun. Just try to lighten up a bit, don't take it so seriously, and allow yourself to experience the pleasure.
Cycle,
Thanks for your comments. Rather more insightful IMHO than Constantly's tone of voice.
Cheerio!
No "tone" intended (if taken in that vain I apologize). I was merely asking
to understand your reasoning on the situation.
How bout a blow up doll??? :D;):p
[QUOTE=wet_suit_one;218155]
The other thing is that I would like the woman with whom I'm having sex to meet some criteria (ok, that's the most shallow thing in the world, but I stand by it).
Sigh...[/QUOTE]
This is where you will find why Constantly asked you the " said question"....Taken from your own words...
:D
There is simply nobody better than NUTTY.....PERIOD. Her man is indeed LUCKY.
I often wonder if it is a burden to be as good as she is..........day end and day
out???
In light of your recent comments, the shallow requirements are decent reviews from reliable reviewers. That's about it.
I've now had blondes, brunettes, strippers, fake tits, real tits, a little roly poly, bodybuilders and others.
It's all kinda dull all the same. It is interesting how different women can be. The 2 strippers, one about 35, huge fakers, long time smoker, the other about 19 or 20, a-cup and still naturally firm with youth was quite a contrast. Very interesting experience indeed.
That being said, one woman was very very very beautiful and I must say, the experience with her made me fully understand in a way I hadn't before why men strive so hard to be with the most beautiful women. The experience, though very similar to the rest was somewhat different just due to her sheer beauty. I'll cherish that experience to the grave.
[QUOTE=wet_suit_one;218155]While I appreciate what you are suggesting, that requires the time and effort of searching. I'm not the most socially adept person, so this is difficult for me to comprehend.
The other thing is that I would like the woman with whom I'm having sex to meet some criteria (ok, that's the most shallow thing in the world, but I stand by it).
How long would it take to find the a woman fitting into the category you're speaking of? I've wasted 33 years of my life already, no time for that now. Plus there is the risk of a relationship there which is a risk that I am unwilling to take. Granted, there's a risk of a relationship with a prostitute too, but it seems far less likely to occur. Note, if it's not clear, I mean a romantic relationship.
I suppose I'm being a chump as I could, in theory, get it for free, but I do not understand how this achieved. Plus, I want to have sex with what I can afford, not what I can get.
Hmmm... Perhaps I'm simply too retarded to figure this out. Geez, I should join a monastary (sp?) and just give it up. It's not meant to be...
Sigh...[/QUOTE]
You should stick to porn and toys...this site has some amazing toy ideas....LOL:p
Nothing wrong with "pooning" WSO...find a website in your area that does reviews of SP's and you will be better off...:) good luck and you can for sure leave all the drama behind that a lot of relationships have...I mean just getting laid without all the other baggage.
HardNgood, I've considered that for the last 3 years or so, and have long since concluded that if I am to enjoy some intimate female company on this earth, this is the road to take.
Finding a "friend with benefits" seems to be a bit beyond my social abilities. Perhaps I overestimate the difficulties, but that's how it seems to me. Also, even if it is not that difficult, I want to have the experience of having sex with a fabulously beautiful woman. I've done it now, and it was worth it.
Personally, I don't believe in sex without love, but whatever trips your trigger. And I mean that in more ways than one, heehee.
I wouldn't try to convince this guy to give a relationship another go if thats not what he wants, but it does seem like a lot of his aversion to being in a relationship has to do with being on one bad one. I'd just like to point out that although it is unfortunate and drama is no good, not every woman you might be in a relationship with is going to turn out crazy.. and while every relationship has its ups and downs, not all are drama filled nightmares. However, I'm also not really a believer in the whole "there is someone out there for everyone" idea. Like someone said before, the odds just aren't there.. I guess as long as you're doing what makes you happy...just don't do it for the wrong reasons is all I'm saying.
what that you have gone 31 years with only having sex once and you're only 33?
so you had sex when you were 2 and then ????
I think the math is somewhat messed up..........LOL
let us hope anyways