Fingering should probably be kept to a minimum as it is anyways. Fingers are a poor, bony substitute for a penis and should not be used as one. If you're going to use your fingers in her vagina, do not try to stick them in deep or be too rough. Fingers in her vagina should be used to gather some of her lube to spread over her clitoral areas and lips, and provide a small penetration feeling at best.

My ex could take a maximum of one finger.

It was strange though because she loved her vibrator and it was much bigger than that.

I don't agree that "Fingers in her vagina should be used to gather some of her lube to spread over her clitoral areas and lips, and provide a small penetration feeling at best" and I am fairly certain that others don't agree.

We find it highly erotic to jump in the back seat and to fool around just like when we were teens--and fingering is as far as we go. She has multiple orgasms, and the teasing is wonderful!

Are we talking about the same thing?

The original poster is talking about the act of putting his fingers in his girl's vagina, not in using his fingers to massage her labia or play with her clitoral areas. I stand by my statement that as far as fingers and the vagina goes, men should NOT be putting their fingers in deep, and should use the vagina for it's lube and to provide minimal penetration. More advanced students could be reaching for the G spot. I was specific when I said vagina, and not vulva...

So either you've misinterpreted my post (as I'm a big believer in using fingers to stimulate her entire vulva, not in "fingering" her vagina) or you've just told me that you can give your girlfriend multiple orgasms simply by vaginally penetrating her with your fingers, which I find highly unlikely. Women who can orgasm from penetration of a penis are rare enough, I've never heard of a woman who could orgasm from bony fingers being stuck in her :)

So correct me if I'm wrong..

you can orgasm from being fingered inside alone. Depends on woman, man, position and how turned on etc but it can happen. x

Blackweb, either I'm not understanding something you're saying or you are 100% completely wrong. Fingering is THE MOST reliable way for me to cum and I've never cum through clitoral/vulva stimulation (not to say I'm not working on it ;)). You point out in your own post that so-called advanced students may be reaching for the g-spot. Um, that's the whole point; the finger can bend and curl like a penis can't. Do you know how to stimulate the g-spot? It's very hard to do during sex except, usually, doggy-style. At least, that's been my experience and what I've heard from several girlfriends. Also, it's difficult for many women to reach their g-spots with their own fingers whereas her partner can position him/herself however they need to. As long as nails are trimmed and hands are washed, there is no reason not to use and enjoy this type of stimulation. Every woman's needs for climax are completely different.

Oh, and as far as the thread topic, lol, two but I prefer one. Moose has an interesting point, why do fewer fingers feel better when you prefer bigger dick? Must have some thing to do with the "precision accuracy," haha, of the finger.

I'm sorry Lurk, but unlike you I have been careful in what I've read and what I've written, and nothing I have said is wrong.

Of the women who can even achieve an orgasm from a man, only a small minority of women can orgasm from penetration alone, and of THAT already twice diminished group, even less can orgasm from a finger in comparison to a penis or a dildo. That's a ridiculously small percentage we are now dealing with.

Often younger males will have little knowledge of the clitoris and believe that the only way women will feel pleasure is by sticking things in their vagina. One of the most common complaints women have with fingering is that men try to stick their fingers in deep and hard; these are usually the men who believe the only thing involved in sex is thrusting and more thrusting.

So Lurk, if a male can, without any other stimulation, use a single finger for penetration (.3 inches thick) and you can achieve an orgasm, that's fantastic. But that is ridiculously so far off the norm that telling me and others that my advice to 'not just shove fingers in vaginas' and to 'not ignore the rest of her vulva' is 100% wrong is a little disconcerting...

[QUOTE=Blackweb;156103]I'm sorry Lurk, but unlike you I have been careful in what I've read and what I've written, and nothing I have said is wrong.[/QUOTE]

From the sound of your response, I don't think you read my post at all.

[QUOTE=Blackweb;156103]Of the women who can even achieve an orgasm from a man, only a small minority of women can orgasm from penetration alone, and of THAT already twice diminished group, even less can orgasm from a finger in comparison to a penis or a dildo. That's a ridiculously small percentage we are now dealing with.[/QUOTE]

I never claimed otherwise. I cited that these were MY experiences and those of close friends. I even pointed out that doggy-style is one of the only positions I'm aware of that aid g-spot stimulation. The finger is not a substitute for the penis and I never said it should be. It serves an entirely different purpose.

[QUOTE=Blackweb;156103]Often younger males will have little knowledge of the clitoris and believe that the only way women will feel pleasure is by sticking things in their vagina. One of the most common complaints women have with fingering is that men try to stick their fingers in deep and hard; these are usually the men who believe the only thing involved in sex is thrusting and more thrusting.[/QUOTE]

Again, I never claimed otherwise. Fingering doesn't have to be "deep and hard;" with a finger, one is able to pinpoint a particular spot (g-pot) for more precise stimulation. And if the man thinks all that's involved in sex is thrusting, then he probably isn't going to know how to finger well.

[QUOTE=Blackweb;156103]So Lurk, if a male can, without any other stimulation, use a single finger for penetration (.3 inches thick) and you can achieve an orgasm, that's fantastic. But that is ridiculously so far off the norm that telling me and others that my advice to 'not just shove fingers in vaginas' and to 'not ignore the rest of her vulva' is 100% wrong is a little disconcerting...[/QUOTE]

Do you honsetly believe it's the girth of the finger that brings the orgasm?:confused: You never answered my question; do you know how to stimulate the g-spot? It has nothing to do with thrusting or simple penetration. I very clearly explained the attributes of the finger that allow for point-specific massage. I never said your advice "to not just shove fingers in vaginas" was wrong. I ALSO didn't say to "not ignore the rest of her vulva" was wrong and I did express the importance of clitoral stimulation when I said I was working specifically on that. My post was very clearly directed at your assertion that fingers should be used only on the vulva and only to acquire lubricant from the vagina and that it is unlikely a woman can cum through fingering.

Every woman requires different stimulation to cum and to claim a woman can't or won't cum from fingering is totally wrong. Some cum vaginally, some clitorally, some anally, some can cum with a combination those, but it varies tremendously.

So far as I can tell, "One, sometimes two" is the closest thing to a "standard" answer. But there's not really such a thing as a standard answer.

I suppose there are some from whom "zero" is the most accurate answer, while others go the other way. If the number gets much above ten, though, there may be a problem.

More than ten:eek:

;)

[QUOTE=lurk;156133]You never answered my question; do you know how to stimulate the g-spot? [/QUOTE]

I never answered this because the G spot was never the topic of conversation. And does an absolute beginner REALLY need to be told to hunt for the G spot? There is so much hype right now over the G spot, which I can't imagine women are happy with, seeing as _yet again_ popular education about the female orgasm is NOT about the clitoris. I've heard kids (14 or younger) bragging about how they know where the G spot is.

[QUOTE=lurk;156133]I never said your advice "to not just shove fingers in vaginas" was wrong. I ALSO didn't say to "not ignore the rest of her vulva" was wrong[/QUOTE]

Actually, you said I was [QUOTE=lurk;156133] 100% completely wrong [/QUOTE] ... ?

[QUOTE=lurk;156133] My post was very clearly directed at your assertion that fingers should be used only on the vulva and only to acquire lubricant from the vagina and that it is unlikely a woman can cum through fingering. [/QUOTE]

For someone who claims she read my post, I don't understand this comment. I just scrolled down on the page and read my original post. Never once did I say the word "only", and from what I've written it looks like I said to not focus on putting fingers inside the vagina, use it for lubrication and to penetrate her in a small way, but be careful and don't hurt her. And I'm sorry, it IS unlikely a woman can cum through finger penetration alone. That's just fact...

As I've previously mentioned, I'm careful with what I write and read. That's write, AND read. Reading is critical if you're going to reply to someone. Now, the obviously young poster asked about how many fingers to use. The correct answer is "most women prefer two, but it varies according to the woman, so ask". However, do you not feel the slightest bit wrong about not trying to impart a little education? It would be as if a young poster asked if it was possible to fist a woman. The answer is "yes" but wouldn't you ask why, or try to tell him that the majority of women will appreciate other avenues of sexual pleasure? :)

my magic number is only two.

[QUOTE=Blackweb;156159]I never answered this because the G spot was never the topic of conversation. And does an absolute beginner REALLY need to be told to hunt for the G spot? There is so much hype right now over the G spot, which I can't imagine women are happy with, seeing as _yet again_ popular education about the female orgasm is NOT about the clitoris. I've heard kids (14 or younger) bragging about how they know where the G spot is. [/QUOTE]

The only real good proper vaginal fingering can do is to stimulate the g-spot, so it is completely relevant to bring it up. This thread started with a general question to everyone of any sexual experience. If he wanted to know how many he should try on his girlfriend he would asked, but he asked what other people are like. The female orgasm is not restricted to or soley about the clitoris. Educating people about clit orgasming is great, but you can't claim you should be doing one over the other. I'll point out again that I encouraged clit play in my first post.

[QUOTE=Blackweb;156159]For someone who claims she read my post, I don't understand this comment. I just scrolled down on the page and read my original post. Never once did I say the word "only", and from what I've written it looks like I said to not focus on putting fingers inside the vagina, use it for lubrication and to penetrate her in a small way, but be careful and don't hurt her. And I'm sorry, it IS unlikely a woman can cum through finger penetration alone. That's just fact...[/QUOTE]

You said -
[quote]Fingering should probably be kept to a minimum as it is anyways. Fingers are a poor, bony substitute for a penis and should not be used as one. If you're going to use your fingers in her vagina, do not try to stick them in deep or be too rough. Fingers in her vagina should be used to gather some of her lube to spread over her clitoral areas and lips, and provide a small penetration feeling at best.[/quote]

Firstly, it's not your place to determine what others should or should not be doing with their fingers; if my partner took your advice to keep it to a minimum and use little penetration, my sex life would be sorely diminished. I would hate for someone to read that and think fingering is a waste of time, and then have their partner miss out on what could be a incredible experience.

Secondly, proper vaginal fingering isn't supposed to be a substitute for the penis, it serves a totally different purpose. Your statements are misleading. That's great to suggest being gentle and using vaginal lube, but to insist it should be kept to a minimum and penetration should be limited is misguided. The hype that it's ALL about the g-pot is obviously inaccurate, but no one part should be ignored. That'd be just as bad as me claiming the clit is a waste of time because I haven't had a clitoral orgasm.

I'm sorry you haven't had better experiences with the g-spot, but if the woman is "g-spot-enabled" (not all are), you can have her squirting across the room with the right technique. It's all part of the experience and all deserves time and energy.

[QUOTE=Blackweb;156159]However, do you not feel the slightest bit wrong about not trying to impart a little education? [/QUOTE]

Suggesting that fingering, in general, should basically be avoided is not educating, it's pushing your opinion as if it's objective. It's one thing to say that inexperienced partners will probably have more success with clit stimulation, but it's very different to make a blanket statement that fingering should be kept to a minimum. If you want to educate, explain the "mystery" of the g-spot, what it might be, how different women respond to it, and the importance of including clit play.

Interesting discussion where two guys argue over what women like or not :confused: ... You could go on like this forever! And to be honest, I am more interested in what women (littlegirl122 thank you!) have to say about it! As for my girlfriend, she likes two for both deep penetration and gspot stimulation. Sorry lurk - I like so much your absolutely affirmative, no-room-for-disagreement (even from women?), statements.

And, by the way, I'd be surprised that my girlfriend is alone in 3+ billion!

Sorry lurk, reading over again, I realise you are a woman! [blush!]. My point remains though, different people like different things. And temptation is often too great to either "generalise" or categorise certain things into "right" and "wrong" categories. A sad state of affairs if two persons nonetheless enjoy each other's company and both derive increased intimacy and pleasure from any particular sexual exchange... [ sigh]

Okay for me to answer the original post, people go as far as fisting (using your entire hand up to your wrist or further). This act should be done with a lot of lube and work your way up to it finger by finger, and slowly. It varies from woman to woman of what they can stand.

As for this whole Lurk and Blackweb thing.. I agree with Lurk. Blackweb your thoughts of not using fingers is absurd.. Fingers sometimes are better than penises.. It all depends on the couple though. I have made girls orgasm sometimes multiple times from fingering, and not just clit stimulation either, finger penetration. It's called different techniques, patterns, number of fingers, etc. Telling people to not use fingers more than to get lube is just stupid I am sorry to say. That is like saying it would be wrong to use our hands on penises for masterbation because it's no substitute for a vagina. Same thing goes with toys and such. You are pretty much being hypocritical by saying fingers are wrong. It all leads to passion, pleasure, and pleasing your partner.

Hi Wagie, don't worry about it. I'm often mistaken for a guy on a different forum, maybe because most of my friends have always been guys and the attitude must've rubbed off ;) I don't mean to give the impression there is no room for discussion; afterall, that's why we're on this board. But if I read information that is misleading or wrong, I'm going to point out exactly why it is such. I think we've made similar points when you say, "My point remains though, different people like different things. And temptation is often too great to either "generalise" or categorise certain things into "right" and "wrong" categories." No one but the couple can determine what works or is good for them. The range in ability to cum is huge and every woman should have the pleasure of having her full range explored and discovered.

I didn't quite understand the last part of your post, though. "A sad state of affairs if two persons nonetheless enjoy each other's company and both derive increased intimacy and pleasure from any particular sexual exchange... [ sigh]" It kind of sounds like you're saying it's not a good thing for two people to get pleasure from just any kind of activity together, which doesn't jive with what you said before. Sorry, I'm confused, I pretty sure I'm misunderstanding that last part.:o

Everyone is diff some girls can orgasm from fingering others can't i think you have both misunderstood each other and should have a truce lol no point arguing over something that varies so mch.

Lurk,
My reply was sort of twisted around, and I apologise for my criticism ending up being unfairly "misdirected" - at you in particular. I whole-heartedly agree with you and rather have problems with Blackweb's angle on this.

As for my closing comment in second posting, again poor drafting, I meant to say it's sad if two persons get along together well and are able to fully please each other, yet somehow bcse of other people's biases/sad experiences or whathever, their shared pleasure and well-being should be seen as either "wong" or a "taboo" area. (Is that any clearer? Guess this means I still need English 101 classes - my mother tongue is French :o ).

Got it, totally clear! Thanks for clarifying:) I wish my Spanish was as good as your English; lack of practice has really diminished my skills.