ask men.com has recently done a survey with 70,000 male participants spanning four countries(USA,CAN,UK,AUS). a similar survey was also done with women but i believe they were all from america. in these surveys men were asked the above question about women.
34% said 10th
32% said 20th
16% said never
15% said 50th
3% said 100th
women were asked the same question about women and the results are
39% said 20th
33% said 10th
17% said 50th
8% said never
3% said 100th
finally women were asked what about men? the results are
40% said 20th
26% said 10th
23% said 50th
8% said never
3% said 100th
so i ask do you have a number for both men and women? if you don't do you think it is more about how a person acts, either desperate or dirty?
Why didn't they ask men about men? A slut is just a name or label to call someone.
Probably because of the double standard for men. This also was a survey for a men's magazine, so a guy doesn't care what another guy thinks about his sex life. Women are the ones that commonly judge other women. Is being called a slut a good or bad thing to you? Do/would you own that title as someone who loves sex and has experience? Or is there always a negative stigma to it?
Being a slut is not so much about the number of partners one has or has had as much as it is about the discretion, discernment and discriminating taste (or lack thereof) that one has in partners.
In the past decade or so slut has taken on a new meaning. For over a century it meant a woman of low sexual moral and discrimination, later coming to include men as sluts too. Nowadays a slut is sometimes used to mean a person who exudes sexuality,enjoys lots of sex, and is very good at it. Thee modern sluts are often personal sluts- that is a slut for their partner and no one else in contrast to traditional sluts who will have sex with anyone.
It's probably a more relevant and interesting question what a slut is. DLB hits the nail on the head! By not defining this survey becomes meaningless. And I do think it was not much complete without men judging men anyways. It is only assumption that women are more judgmental of other women. Though I do see it could be irrelevant for the public of the magazine -though everyone please see the irony in it's called "ask.men":rolleyes::D
In my book a slut means trashy looks & attitude with lack of self-respect, number of sex-partners irrelevant. I rarely use the word, accept perhaps for the common-term "breezer-slut", which means a girl who does sexual favors for men in return for a drink.
I think the word is also used in a joking way. I sometimes call him names and so does he me, in a teasing way. But it really depends on the person whether such edgy humor is acceptable.
"breezer-slut" !!!??? Oh I like that one and had never heard it before.
Well, it was actually considered a huge problem and political debate went on about breezer-culture about 8 years ago. Politicians used the term breezer-slut just as much as the media ;) First problem considered about this culture was drinking alcohol like lemonade in far too huge quantity. The product got blamed partially, since it doesn't even taste like alcohol no more. Next problem discovered was the sexual trading; probably the alcohol caused a lack of judgment and control. Yet it also raised the question of self-respect, attitudes towards sex, lack of boundaries and control among youngsters. The issue evolved to coma-drinking, about 4 years back, meaning you drink so much alcohol you pass out, end up in a hospital and could even die. But that's not as much a big thing in media/politics no more. Probably ever since it was discovered it's not half as worse a problem here, as it is in the UK. And (anti)islamic debates seems to be the only thing of interest these days... :(
that is the point of the survey question, to find out what a slut is to men, right? if the number of sex partners doesn't matter then there is a discussion about what a man or woman does or how they carry themselves. they don't say if a slut is good or bad because it depends on the person. it is just a question that can be used for open debate.and again this is a man's magazine and its content is geared toward straight men, who do not care about another man's promiscuity since they aren't having sex with them.
RR what you are describing with breezer-slut to a lot of people is a skank. there is a difference and it is that the girl is not perceived well. she is dirty, low class but doesn't necessarily have to have had lots of sex partners.
slut, bitch, and hoe are used among close girl friends as jokes but never skank.
oh and it is not an assumption here RR that women are more judgmental, at least not me it is. women so commonly refer to girls they don't like as sluts. especially if the girl is trash talking or hitting on a guy she likes or is involved with. i have never in my life heard a man call another man a slut or whore.
I graduated from high school in '79 so to me skank still means a dance style useful for reggae, ska and punk music.
Back to sluts---
[QUOTE]if you don't do you think it is more about how a person acts, either desperate or dirty? [/QUOTE]
It is the perception of other(s) about how another acts.
[QUOTE]i have never in my life heard a man call another man a slut or whore.[/QUOTE]
I have, on numerous occasions. Maybe it's just the men I hang with.
@ big, I've heard guys call guys sluts, whores plenty of times.
I have too. Either meant offensive or jokingly. The latter more often, but that's also true for men calling women and women calling women.
While I was in highschool for some time it was a popular thing to say "hi you, dirty slut!" with a big smile, which actually was slang for "hi you, my best friend!". There was also "whorrrrrrrre" preferably roared with the "r" pronounced as they do in Italy and prolonged. This was among guys a way of greeting their buddies. Language gets pretty fascinating when it comes to slang :rolleyes: And it's funny how these words differ very little in Dutch (slut=slet & whore=hoer).
At my job someone could be called a slut, when they kiss up to their superiors. Not to the person's face; the word used by men for men while on their lunch-break (but that's easy in a company that's 90% male). Which is not meant really hateful, but it's not meant really jokingly either. Like a joke that displays irritation.
My opinion is that if a lady has had 10 or less men and/or women she is kind of inexperienced. If she has had 100 or more she is well experienced. If she has f**ked 10 or 100 guys and/or gals on a pool table in a crowded bar during happy hour she is more than likely a slut!:D:p
[QUOTE=dirtyoleman;272054]My opinion is that if a lady has had 10 or less men and/or women she is kind of inexperienced. If she has had 100 or more she is well experienced. If she has f**ked 10 or 100 guys and/or gals on a pool table in a crowded bar during happy hour she is more than likely a slut!:D:p[/QUOTE]
I know it's wrong but LOL!
seriously, I cant imagine anyone doing that unless they were paid or out of their mind (possibly on drugs?)
a follow up question related to the original question. have you ever lied about your number of sex partners? either increased or decreased the number to protect your ego or reputation.
I spent 9 yrs in the U.S. Navy, traveled 3/4 of the way around the world, there is no way I have any idea how many women I've f**ked. But none of them could begin to compare to my wife when it comes to giving me pleasure.
[QUOTE=big916;272076]a follow up question related to the original question. have you ever lied about your number of sex partners? either increased or decreased the number to protect your ego or reputation.[/QUOTE]
No. My little sister -who was already rather sexually experienced in her teens- gave me the advice to lie about being a virgin. Because no man would want an inexperienced woman, especially while already in her twenties. A bunch of BS off course!!! I've been honest from the start; the same evening he told me he was falling in love with me, I've told him I had zero experience in the sex- and relationships department. It took him only a few seconds to think about that and told me it was all ok. He was just sorry to say he wouldn't be able to give me any of his first times. Come to think of it; he's never told me a number of girlfriends, along the way he did tell me their names and about some of his precious memories. What's in a number anyways?
I read askmen because it makes me laugh! They're so clue-less that it is funny.
I do not use such terms to describe others nor do I permit others to describe me using those terms. I have heard men describe themselves that way but none of the women I know use those terms - any of them. But then, we don't fight over men - we pass them around.
I do not lie, nor have I ever lied, about the number of sexual partners I have enjoyed. I simply ignore the question as not being anyone else's business.
Well, I guess whether prude or highly sexually active: if you go for numbers, you forget that a number is only quantity and not quality :rolleyes: Having had a lot of sexpartners could mean a lot of adventurous experience. Yet; it could also mean the sex soon got boring. (I actually knew a girl who only had sex in missionary and did not do oral, though had had many bf's). Those who've had only few sexpartners, could either be vanilla or very naughty in the bedroom. Having had many sexpartners could perhaps tell that you know how to please different people. But the number doesn't say much about the kind of lover your are; selfish or a pleaser, could be both. The number of partners does not even say anything about the number of times someone had sex (as in: 10 sexpartners, but all relationships lasted very short). The number alone says nothing about the kind of relationship they had together. And then we haven't mentioned the age of the person. 10 sexpartners at the age of 14 may be a lot, whereas at the age of 75; not that much. That's why I'd say: what's in a number anyways? :)
Btw: I'm not sure whether his purpose was to "teach". Perhaps guiding or stimulating to thrive is a better word. He usually called it "experiencing". He basically enjoyed it to see me respond, how I discovered and enjoyed these new sensations. To him; it was a special and beautiful experience to see me grow and blossom. I do agree it must take a certain type of personality and attitude. And it must have been a bit of a challenge; pleasing a person that doesn't even know how to please herself (admittedly; he only found out zero experience really meant "zero" after my first orgasm:rolleyes:).
Of course your sister RR didn't know that there are people that like to be teachers. and to your question what is in a number it depends on the person. the higher the number is better for highly sexual people and no so much for prudes. the lower number may discourage very sexually active people because you have little experience, but the prudes think good i am not getting someone's slopping seconds.
EEK i do see a difference between you and some dirty skank that has no discrimination with who she messes around with, don't you? i see you as a successful modern woman, with class and knows what she wants. and you have stated that the first date you size up the man to see if he is trustworthy, smart, and knowledgeable before he even gets into bed with you on the second and third date.
ok i appreciate that it is no ones business what your number is, but does the guy's number matter to you? you being very experienced would you turn down a virgin or someone that has less than 5 partners?
Number is meaningless - quality is where it is at. What sort of women? For how long? Upon what terms? How did it end? Why did it end? Who is he seeking?
It is not just his body that interests me but the person within so my criteria focus first upon his mind.
> so i ask do you have a number for both men and women? if you don't do you think it is more about how a person acts, either desperate or dirty?
1st. if the man in question perceives the girl/woman as either desperate or "easy".
Don not make the mistake of "easy to get" as also meaning "easy to keep". There are women who might want you for fun but would NOT accept you as a husband.
The guys we play with aren't necessarily the ones we marry.
There's no such thing as "sluts."
It's a nonsense word (when on reflects on it) created to oppress people who are different.
on the flip side i have heard people own the word and say yeah that is how my sexual behavior is. SO WHAT! i think it is in our nature to categorize everything so that we can properly understand it for safety reasons.
agreed - WSO