Read this- if you have the stomach for it:
[url="http://www.advocate.com/html/stories/923/923_scotty.asp"]Scotty's Last Moments
It just make me sick that it takes something like this to make people realize that discrimination leads to hatred... which leads to death. So how many more??
LOL...That's even better!
LOL... I don't know about "wisdom", but it does get easier to say, "Get over it!"
You're right. I do have a lot of time to deal with it and it's comforting knowing that. It's good to know that it will get easier as I grow older. I guess with age comes wisdom.
You're more than welcome, Iamawesum. Anytime.
I checked and noticed that you're eighteen. You've got plenty of time to deal with this. It becomes somewhat easier as you get older, become independent and are more comfortable with yourself as a person.
Take care.
[QUOTE=Quote ]Wow! This is probably more than you wanted from your post...lol.
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lol. Actually not at all Oberon. You helped me a lot. Maybe I just don't need to share this aspect of my life with my parents right now. I'm quite new to it myself and would like to explore more before I for lack of a better word subject my parents to it. They're not gay bashers by any means but I know they'd hate the thought of their little girl having an unconventional sexual lifestyle. I come out to a lot of my friends. I feel comfortable sharing this information with them. And if the subject comes up with people I'm just meeting I'll admit it to them. It's just harder with my parents. Like you said with other people you can just say if matters to them then they don't matter to me but it is very hard to have that attitude with your family. Well I think I've brought this offtopic enough but I'd like to say thank you again oberon!
Venting is good, Iamawesum.
I'm sorry to hear that your parents would react badly to the news that you are bisexual. That's one of the hardest parts of coming out. You always feel that you are going to lose people that you love. If you visit any LGBT board with a coming out section, you'll see you're not alone.
The maxim for most situations is "If it matters to them, then they don't matter." But that's hard when it's your parents. I know. I've been there. My mom still gets upset when the subject is brought up. The way I deal with it is "This is MY life. I'm the one that has to be happy with it. No one else." I can't change who I am so the problem is her's not mine.
I'm also not one of those that feel you need to come out to everyone. The most important person is yourself. If you are happy with your life, then don't worry about whether or not anyone else knows the intimate details of your bedroom. You come out to make things easier for yourself. It's hard living a double life. But that doesn't mean you have to make a general announcement. Deal with each person as the situation presents itself. A friend of mine recently said something I liked... "When you come out to some one, you are 'acting' instead of 'reacting'. It puts the other person on the defensive instead of yourself." I'd never thought of it that way... even though I've used that tactic before... I'm sort of "This is ME. Deal with it." lol
Personally, I've gotten to the point that I don't "come out" to people. I just don't shy away from the topic or questions when they bring it up.
Wow! This is probably more than you wanted from your post...lol.
I just wish society as a whole was more openminded and I'm not only referring to different types of people. I'm talking about in general as well. This closemindedness that a lot of people still possess makes it difficult for people to try new things and be open about their sexuality. Society makes us embarassed about some of the things that we do behind closed doors when we should be able to talk about it more and be open about it. For this reason I'm unable to admit to my family that I'm bisexual. I know they'd love me the same but they'd look at me differently. I can just hear the lectures now. I'd like to be able to admit to them this part of my life without being looked down upon and without them feeling the need to get me into a church asap. Sorry this was a little offtopic but I guess I just needed to vent.
I'm glad a few more people were moved by this story. You are all correct... only by knowing about such things can they be stopped.
Shadowcat, another friend of mine recently said something about sometimes being ashamed of being straight. I'll say to you what I said to her... "I'd find it all too ironic to have to tell someone that it's okay to be straight.
Don't be ashamed of being straight, be angry at the people who can commit such heinous acts." It's not a matter of gay and straight, it's a matter of human rights and human decency.
Gay people don't want everyone to be gay. We want to be a part of a large group of good people. Period. Straight, gay, bisexual or transgender.
This is a horrible story, but it needs to be told, it needs to educate people. Don't turn your heads and not see what is going on in our world.
This is what happen when people don't respect human life and people as they are. God made us all equal, we are perfect and loved.
We need to change this and I am so glad that this was posted, I hope all read it and share it with more people, it is time for change.
Thank you for sharing this story, as henious as it is.
i cant believe that while we have all these super kool things in our world today we cant have a little tolerance for people whose beliefs or ways of life are different. I mean, straught people are different from gay people, and you dont see gay people burning up straight people so why is it that straight people can do it to gays? grrrrrr sometimes i wish i wasnt human and dint have to know that there was all this hatred in my race. If I wasn't totally in love with my boyf, I'd be ashamed to be straight when you see all the things against gay people. I mean, for one thing you dont have so many rights that all people should have. You dont get the respect that all people should have. Its not fair.
Thank you, Lady.
I think talking about these things is important.
"What isn't talked about, can be ignored."
hmm its weird, its sad because honestly they dont know who did it... but its sad, not only does this happen to gay peopl eit happens to ANYONE.. just people seem to have this hate.. i dont understand why.. hate.. makes your heart black.. u know?i dislike things.. but how can peopl ehate so much as to take anothers life? thats just.. wow.. a cloud is over them... its so sad
and Oberon by the way love, i LOVE What you post!! seriously.. it really.. gets people thinkin and stuff.. keep it up
Wow. This kind of stuff has sickened me since I was a child. I really wish people would just let everyone be as they wish, instead of judging and trying to make everyone be like them. The world would NOT be a better place if we were all the same. I am so sick of these people who think they have the right to do what they want to whomever they want, based on some belief that their own judgements are the only way.
I swear sometimes I really hate this world...
I agree, Kathy. Sometimes I think about the fact that we complain about the stuff we don't have (like the latest electronic toy) and talk about the wonderful things our society is thinking of doing (oh, say like colonizing Mars), and then I remember that many people on this planet still live in mud huts. How can we think of moving beyond our own planet when we can't get along or bring everyone up to a similar level on this one.
Good post, Soulmates.
I don't necessarily think that it's the "things" we have that are the problem. It's people's willingness to be addicted to the "things". At any time in history, it's been easy to divorce yourself from "the world". Now, we just have machines to help us do it.
People get so focused on controlling their lives... when life really can't be controlled. There is a lot to be said for the Zen approach of just letting life happen.
Incidentially, I agree totally with your reasoning of intolerance. I think that people who try to force others to believe the way they do lack the backbone to stick to their beliefs unless everyone else is doing the same thing.
awful and makes it worse to know that is not an isolated incident. as bad as things use to be as far as discrimination it has gotten far far worse and way out of hand. gays and people with any other skin color but white, people that have different relgious beliefs, a persons job, number of kids, neighborhood yu live in, car yu drive, even the gym shoes you wear...... goes on and on and on ... society seems set on having uniformity as a standard or goal - as long as it is set my way or it is wrong and i am against it and will not tolerate those noncomforming sobs.... sooooooo much hatred and firm bias beliefs, no tolerance AT ALL in acceptng the beliefs and ways and lifestyle of those who are not just like ourselves. kids seem born into this mindset like its in te water their mom drinks while they are in the womb. lots of folks arent willing to be identical to everyone else and those free sprits are almost hounded and shuned and pointed out as outcast and people dont really hate the person as much as they hate them for having selfworth and the strength to stick to being who they are. the folks who do the picking really hate themselves because they dont have the guts to stand up for themseves. too chicken to stand out from the crowd themselves they instead figure get rid of temptation to "join the dark side" or get rid of them and it will be better not to have to think any way but identical cuz the crowd will soon forget there was ever any other way to be - no reminder left but faint memories of times and ways of the old days. easier to "break" a behavior, brainwash or hypnotize or whatever fancy word they call it these days. some of us are old enough to remember life without ADD and obese kids and a dress code at school where pants on girls were only allowed under a skirt or dress if the snow was too deep and you took them off in the classroom. tshirts were not even allowed and a buton up shirt or some sort of dress pullover was what the guys wore and skirts had to be knee level or lower. you watched what your parents watched on tv and actually went to the show with an adult if it was not a g rated movie and we had curfew and had to be home when the street lights came on and no member of the oposite sex allowed in the bedroom even to do homework and chores and no play until homework was done and checked by parents and grounded meantextra chores and no phone and no going anywhere without mom or dad and no phone calls during meal time and it was 5 pm and you be at the table with your hands washed and we sat and ate and then went to swim practice. you dressed up to go out to eat and every outfit was handpicked by a parent and no makeup allowed and i dont care what everyhone else it doing no daughter of mine is leaving the house looking like that.... i babysat or mowed the lawn or got a good report card to get my spending money and i spent it real wisely and stuff i was saving for cuz there was no gimme money handed out on a daily basis. hot lunch costs money so earn it or take a bag lunch, once in a while on special days i could beg the extra so i could have pizza from the cafeteria. you ate what mom cooked and you ate what you put on your plate and even stuff you didnt like you had to at least try and didnt leave the table until you were excused and did dishes and made your bed and ..... what the he)( happened to family structure and guidance and all the prep work you needed to be on your own. how is the world gotten so freakin busy. cell phones and tossed salad in a bag and ready made carry out meals and maids and day care and one stop shoping stores and permapress fabric and no wax flooring and tilt in windows and holy cow can we get any lazier than remote control tv and cordless phones and fax machines and .... all the modern conveniences that make life so much easier and yet no one has TIME to cook or TIME to play games with their kids or TIME to do anything other than whatever the H*&^ it is that takes up so much of their TIME!
sorry for rambling but it all makes me very angry and clueless at what to do to try and stop civilation from destroying itself
Yes, it sent me into a rage for a while. I seem to spend a lot of time lately trying NOT to turn into a cliched "angry gay man".
I get angry enough when I think that in 36 out of 50 states, it is still permissible by law to fire someone just for being gay. It is still okay to discriminate against gay people looking for housing. Not to mention, the 1,100+ rights that gay people are denied by not being allowed to marry.
Then I read something like this and think, apparently, it's still okay even to kill us.
omg oberon wow......i cant believe not more people have responded to this topic....thats horrible!!! omg....
I really do hate these kinds of stories and yet I know I must hear them.
Actually I don't even wish to address these issues or kinds of people anymore. They repulse me.
But I do thank you for bring it to us. Kathy
That story was one of the most horrifying things I've ever read. It almost made me cry when I read it. How could anyone do something so horrible to someone that gave so much to people? I just don't understand this at all. I don't really wanna end up going off on a tangent so I think I'll stop here.