Nicely put, As soon as I started reading, I was thinking, when you are both ready, but you killed the easy answer. I've been sexually active for about 3 years, and have experienced both sides. None of the relationships where I had sex on the first date ever went beyond that. I am a guy, and although I love sex, I don't like to rush into it. Honestly, I was turned off by the girls in the first nighters simply for that reason. They both wanted more, but it felt like just sex, no connection.

Its not easy to just say 69 days because it depends on the people. As long as there is a real, and I mean REAL, connection between the people, and progression moves in stages, I think that the minimum time is 1 month.

By that time you have a feel for each other, and std test results can go through . Sex, for at least the first time between people, should be a deeper experience (mind body and soul). I feel it helps build the foundation to a healthy relationship.

After you have been in a marriage where sex was on the back burner for a while you simply want to get connected with someone on an emotional lever where you can feel sexy again....not particularly sexually connected....that usually takes time...
I'd say that a good measure for a woman to know that the guy is there to stay if they go the extra step is when both of you are lost in each other's eyes can go anywhere and have fun, talk for hours without getting bored....you know then that you have a connection on all levels. This is the time to go the extra step!

Enjoy!

Wow interesting stuff on this topic. Let me give women a word of advice. From my experience through myself and friends the same guy can be a both a jerk and your night and shinning armour. Allow me to elaborate. You never know what a guys intentions are, or background (ie. Did he just get dumped or cheated on or whatever.) is when you first meet him. He may be looking for a relationship or he may be just looking for sex. I guarantee that any man with some experience knows for himself weither or not he wants to just sleep with you or weither or not he wants to be your boyfriend by at the most the third date!!!!! So where does this leave you? Well i would have to answer this by saying even if he knows he wants you as a girlfriend he will still try to sleep with you even if its sublte, but i have to agree that you should hold out on him for a while. This brings into play intrigue and mystery. Fool around a bit to let him know you are definately interested but make him wait i would say at least a month or about 6 to 10 dates. Because if he is till around after a month and treating you good, then he is more than likely into you. And not some jerk trying to get laid. Trust me i know because i wouldn't hang around for a month when i am just trying to sleep withsomeone! Hope this helps the ladies out there and guys i am sorry but you know its true!!!!!!

Hey,

Great Topic! this one of those things that never really gets discussed...

I am a 27 year old female, the shortest I have ever dated someone before sleeping together was 3 weeks, and it was hard to wait that long... you should have seen his body!!

Before I get caught up in those memories, I 'll get back to the point. My rule of thumb is to wait as long as possible. On average (based on 6 partners), I don't get that close with a partner for at least 2 months, usually three...

There have been several relationships where I would have done it earlier, but I decided to wait longer... Most of the guys turned out to be creeps, so its often worth waiting as long as possible....

When you feel like you need sex, I usually call an X that I have a great friendship with... We are each others booty calls when times are rough... works great!

What if this was the first time you guys "got together"...love at first site... Do you beleive that you can feel that for someone the first time you share a passionate kiss?

I've tried both. Back in the day I got involved a couple of times after just a few months or weeks of dating and even though I had known the person for months before we started dating, the relationship went nowhere. With my current bf, I decided to wait longer. We just recently had sex after almost 2 years of being together and our relationship is great. I would recommend waiting. As much as many men claim to not lose respect for a woman who gives it up too soon, they do anyway.

quite simply when the times right it will happen, either planned or spontaneous but dont force the issue when the times right it'll just happen, nothing worng with waiting weeks, months, years, its just an added extra to a relationship is sex

so what if you were to spend two weeks with someone and not know when you will see them again (long distance) would you do it by then ? or still hold out ?

Personally, I view sex as more than just a physical act, so I tend to hold off for a while. That being said, I can enjoy a whirlwind romance just as much as the next guy. It all depends on the people involved.

what about all the rest? sure sex is more than just a physical act, but surely everything else is as well?
i suppose it depends on a lot of factors, but how long does it take before the first kiss, and first of everything else (not just sex)?

i waited 7 months before sleeping wit my partner and he is the only guy ive slept with. for me, sex is an emotional connection more then a physical connection. i didnt want to sleep ewith him just because i could and when we did we were both really glad we waited instead of doing it as soon as we could.

but like people are sating, its not the same for everybody. in fact, a few hours ago i was reading a cosmpolitan mag and there was a story in there about a womans one ngiht stand that turned out to be her soul mate!

I'm a guy, it's usually a month if not a little longer for me.