Ladies,
I have a little problem. It is best described here on this website: [url=http://www.healthystrokes.com/]Healthy Strokes - Masturbation and More
I am curious as to how important to the ladies it is that their guys climax when they are having sex.
It's been an issue in a past relationship, but it's not really an issue for me (yes, I have TMS). Should it be an issue for me?
Thanks a million!
We women generally assume that ejaculation is our partners goal. As a young woman, it bothered me greatly when it did not happen (rarely). As an older woman, I simply ask if he wants more help.
I always enjoy her orgasm, but I don't know that I'd consider it "Very Important." That a good time was had by all is very important, but her climaxing not so. I understand now that it's not the same for everyone. For myself, my climax is totally irrelevant. It won't happen so I don't care. Simply spend time with the partner is my pleasure.
Ya, I'm a freak, I know. :D
Well, how do you feel if she doesn't orgasm during sex?
Same here, buddy.
We all enjoy knowing we have contributed to our partner's pleasure.
[QUOTE=wet_suit_one;242464]I am curious as to how important to the ladies it is that their guys climax when they are having sex.[/QUOTE]
Depends on the guy I'm with. It's more important he enjoys the whole experience. Some guys enjoy going for a long time before climaxing, and in that case I wouldn't want to rush him. In a world where climaxing too soon is some mens' problem, it might be a good thing that a guy doesn't easily climax during sex.
If it's a guy who has physical trouble climaxing during sex, if/when he's ready to climax we can do others things to help him finish. For example, I find it hot when a guy masturbates and lets me watch, so that would be cool. Or he could teach me his personal tricks on how to stroke him off. Oral is also a fun way to end things, if he'll let me.
The bigger picture though is that if this is meaningful-relationship-sex, the intimacy and emotional benefit of every moment of the sexual encounter is worth far more. As long as he is ok with it, I'd be ok with it. I'm just happy enjoying what I do with him.
It's very important to me, partly because of what EEK said about contributing to his pleasure, and partly because I know it's important to him. To get that close, and not finish, is a huge disappointment for him.
"All dressed up and no place to go"
and if he stopped before I had an orgasm - there would be hell to pay!!!
If he doesn't, I haven't done my job.
Well Rouge, what if you can't "do your job" because it's impossible to be done? Just curious.
Ah yes, well then, cattle prod anyone?
Zippity zap zap!
(WSO - you can 're-train' yourself.)
[quote]Well Rouge, what if you can't "do your job" because it's impossible to be done? Just curious.[/quote]
I'm not sure, it's never really come up.
I tend to feel it's important. It's like a reward at the end of a hard but fun task - like having a hot shower after a long run. Plus I find some sort of pleasure in hearing/feeling/experiencing his orgasms.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;243098]"All dressed up and no place to go"
and if he stopped before I had an orgasm - there would be hell to pay!!![/QUOTE]
Yeah but what if he's shot off and it's shrunk down to nothing? Wait for it to come back or just get his tongue in there?:confused:
> Yeah but what if he's shot off and it's shrunk down to nothing? Wait for it to come back or just get his tongue in there?
YES! There is nothing in the rule book that says making love is over when a penis goes limp. Nothing. A great make out session can last an hour or more and when an erection subsides, just rebuild it, again and again. Don't wait, do something about reestablishing it.
If and when he has climaxed, you will have to wait out his refractory period or down time before he can have another climax. This can range from about ten minutes to half an hour depending upon the person, age, and sex drive.
It should be important. It should be pleasurable. Orgasms (his & hers) should be part of a "mutual admiration society".
Remember the ol' term "cock teaser"? Have you ever seen your fella suffer from "blue balls"?
If you do not know how to help him achieve a climax--learn. Ask him to show you, guide your hand, help you to mimic his specific technique. The subject has been discussed so much that there is a how-to article on the matter.
Even if your answer is that it is of little or no concern to you, etiquette and common courtesy, and concern for him as a sex partner be it momentary, temporary, or long term, should be enough to help him and not leave him hanging.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;243124]Ah yes, well then, cattle prod anyone?
Zippity zap zap!
(WSO - you can 're-train' yourself.)[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I'm aware of the retraining possibility. I just don't really see the point. By being dysfunctional I see more upside than I do in being functional. Bizarre (even to me really), but it seriously reduces the odds of children (which don't interest me much) and the complications to life that children bring. No real long term relationship is in the cards or really desired, so it's just not a big deal to me. Plus, I'm too lazy to undo that which has been done. I have little motivation to normalize the situation, so I'll leave it be. Perhaps if I believed in "love" it may be worthwhile. I don't so I'd rather do other things.
So it goes...
It doesn't bother me.There are so many factors ie-work, stress, tiredness.If he doesn't then I'll just try again the next day!
He will cum. *Evil grin*
I have ways to make sure he does.
What's TMS? And don't you cum WetSuit? And why have you stopped trying? Like, never?
[QUOTE=wet_suit_one;242464]Ladies,
I have a little problem. It is best described here on this website: Healthy Strokes - Masturbation and More
I am curious as to how important to the ladies it is that their guys climax when they are having sex.
It's been an issue in a past relationship, but it's not really an issue for me (yes, I have TMS). Should it be an issue for me?
Thanks a million![/QUOTE]
It depends on why he didn't cum as to whether or not I'd be concerned. If he'd lost interest or my technique wasn't up to scratch, I'd possibly be hurt. However there have been several times when either my man or I haven't reached an orgasm due to tiredness or such but we have still enjoyed the closeness of our sexual encounter. There was one memorable moment when neither of us orgasmed because we were both laughing at some silly fool on the Internet but we still had a great time. :D