ok, its me again all.
I need to ask a question and well, I have never been the one to do this before. Yeasterday, I was set up with girl who a person I know set me up with. Very nice, not bad looking and very lovely. Well, to night we went out and ended up back at my place and well..........................
ok, now. It has nothing to do with anthing that happaned tonight..I mean, it was great.. been a 7 month dry spell. The thing is, the more I have sat here and been thinking about it, the more I find myself asking myself if I realy did what I wanted to do. I get this feeling it had been a LOT longer for her then me, but, I dont want her to think I was using her or it was just a one nighter..
What I want to know, how do I tell her, nicely what I am thinking and try to remember friends wtih her sence we both have a common firend and she didnt want to set us up from the gitgo. I have only a few friends and dont want to lose one..
What was it you really wanted to do ? Get to know her better ? If so, all you need to do is give her a call and talk about it. If you communicate with her, you'll find things can be pretty good between you and her.
sorry bout not making it clear last night. Half asleep when I posted. I just want it to be firends between me and her is all. Shes a great person, just not realy what I am looking for. I just want any bad feels between anyone is all.
Just be honest as you clearly just explained. Things happen...sex does not equal love, love relationships, or more than just a date.
Often it's a spur of the moment, heat of the moment, sex is good, however, you just see the other through your eyes as a friend. You never know, she may be feeling the same.
Be certain though to call her & stay in contact assuming you do wish to be her friend. If company was enjoyed as friends sex included, go out again, does not mean sex is involved each time. It may or may not be based upon her feelings as well. Remember a friendship is really learning to understand the other as a friend & takes patients.
Such is the nature of dating. We meet, we talk, we decide to see more of each other initially, we go on a date, we connect--or not, and then decide whether to remain friends or part friends and move on to the next person. If we do, the process repeats. Such is the nature of dating.
I've said this many times that dating does not begin and end with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. It is a process in which we meet lots of people in order to learn more about what humanity has to offer us. You won't really know for sure unless you meet and talk and decide to have dinner and maybe do more together. Sometimes dating lasts only one date, others two or more, still others enter a longer relationship. Such is the nature of dating.
If you want to remain friends and she is agreeable--go for it. Friends and friends w/benefits work because they serve a need each person has. Other times we meet and go out with others and learn s/he is not for us as you mentioned. Do not be critical of yourself because this is how dating is suppose to work.
Whether she remains a friend or you part company, try and enlist her on your behalf to network for you. Successfully finding people to date works better the more people you have working for you. So, whether she knows anybody who you could date or not, enlist family and friends to help with this. You just never know who knows of a person that might be eager and available.
"Just not what I'm looking for".
PLEASE stop that kind of thinking. The person for whom you are looking does NOT exist. Sorry, but tis true. Best to forget your list and go with those you can find.
As to this lady here- spend time out of the bedroom with her. So just call her up and ask her out. Then just talk and stay out of the bedroom - or not. That is up to her - but you will not know until you two have spoken.
Thanks to all of you, just to update, we parted ways some time ago. left it was two ships passing in the night..
OK, I dont want to start up a new post, so I will just post under what I started earlyer, save space right?
I did something this evening I have very rairly done, went to a bar... OK OK, I know, someone, guy no less does not like to go to bars, well, I just realy dont enjoy them but anyway. As Iwas there, I got to talking with this girl, ok, women, 22. First time for both of us at a bar realy. Anywho, she was there with one of her GFs, I was not drinking cause I was driving later. We got along good, I left about a little after 8pm with her, and, well, long story short, I just got back from her place........
Now, I am NOT the type of person to do what I just did tonight. Its just not who I am. Granted, there was some spark there, HELL, a lot of sparks;) I just dont know what I did. We are both over 21, but she had downed 2 or 3 drinks, would not call it drunk, but maybe buzzed realy good.. I left when she was asleep and joted my number down and left it on her bed side table. I would lke to see her again, but, sh*t, what is it I am trying to say.
Would somone looking at this call it just being lonelyness with some lust and drink added in or somethign else... im just feeling like I took advange of the fact that she had been having a few drinks.. The more I think about it, the lower I feel as a man. I just dont know what to do..
Any ideas or imput for me?
STOP!! Jeez, guy it is not like you broke all 10 Commandments here!
What did you think bars were for??? To meet people! Which is what you did. She decided to take you home with her. She could have said No at any time. She didn't. No harm, no foul. I hope you were wearing condoms.
But leaving your number like that - no, hun. She should have had your number in her cell phone, or purse, before you left the bar. And unless you REALLY couldn't or she had said something about doing otherwise - you should have stayed the night.
What you do now is to call her and tell her what a great time you had and how much you enjoyed her company and that you'd love to see her again. But do NOT say the words "thank you".