Having sex with my gf is turning into a problem.
Problem is, she comes quickly--much faster than I do. It takes about one minute of intercourse for her to come. After coming, she gets a bored/worried look on her face. Needless to say this turns me off. She says she is worried that I won't cum. I've told her not to worry, but she does and because she does then I end up frustrated. After I've been inside her she doesn't want to give a bj.
She seems somewhat uptight. The lights have to be off, she doesn't like me giving her oral sex, and won't let me touch her genitals much and certainly wouldn't let me put a finger in her.
When she does give me oral sex, when I come, she makes a really nasty face (she doesn't let me come in her mouth).
I've tried to ask her what she likes, doesn't like etc. and she won't say much.
She says her genitals and breasts are too sensitive and that's why she doesn't want them touched.
Any thoughts?
There is really nothing you can do. There are some things she can do but I doubt that she is yet ready. Anything she does will have to be her initiative, not yours. Given what you have said, I have serious doubts that she experiences orgasms. You have some decisions to make.
[QUOTE=Brandye]There is really nothing you can do. There are some things she can do but I doubt that she is yet ready. Anything she does will have to be her initiative, not yours. Given what you have said, I have serious doubts that she experiences orgasms. You have some decisions to make.[/QUOTE]
That was my thoughts exactly. If she's not faking the orgasms, I'd be shocked.
It sounds like she has an aversion to sex in general.
*nods*
It sounds likes she's doing it to just get it out of the way and not really getting any pleasure from it.
Wonder why she would fake it so quickly. Like maybe she is doing her "duty"
and wanting it over quickly?? I would interested to hear some thoughts from the ladies on this one.
Well! This is a subject I've discussed over a few bottles of wine with best girlfriends. Seems like most have faked it at least once or twice. The reasons? To stop the guy from continued forceful thrusting which is becoming painful. To not bruise his ego because orgasm "wasn't happening" for her during intercourse. To get it over with because they really didn't want to "be there" in the first place. Sorry!
Not having an orgasm, at least for some women, isn't *always* that big of a deal. IMHO, each sexual encounter, whether with the same man or a different man is UNIQUE (that's what kept MY interest going). I don't think anything can be "replicated" or "FORCED to happen, by doing this, this, and that". Which is not to say that most women are willing to go without orgasm indefinitely...She doesn't sound willing to explore this.
I wonder what her age is? Women vary quite a bit according to when they REALLY want sex as opposed to when they're SUPPOSED to want it "by now" because they are a certain age. I wasn't interested in it at ALL until I met someone that I had HIGH POWER chemistry with. Par exemple, it's "classic" that most boys in their teens have little else on their minds. When I was 16-20 I found this annoying/disgusting. My own sexuality didn't really "kick-in" until after age 20. Then, it was excruciating! :-)
As for ORAL, don't expect it, don't require/demand it. It isn't everyone's cup of tea. But I agree with you, she does seem to be "uptight". She may not actually be experiencing DESIRE, but feels that she's "supposed" to, or she doesn't want to tell you NO, I'm not really into it. I'm all for NO, just as I am all for YES, depending on the individual.
Isn't it amazing that all males and all females are so similar to their own gender anatomically speaking, but after that, it's anybody's guess!
Pysical intimacy, AKA Sex, isn't always about GETTING OFF.
Ladies, y'all know that that I'm sure. But I want to to tell it to "all the young dudes".
As for the oral sex issue, I'd buy some flavored condoms that way she doesn't get the cum in her mouth when you ejaculate.
Revirginated that was, IMHO, a wonderful answer to what is evidently a very
common issue. Your reference to age is absolutely right on. Is that the voice
or experience perhaps?? Keep up the super insight and thanks for answering my question.
Is it truly possible for one's private areas to be THAT overly sensitive?
Breast and clit can become very sensitive pre and post period and during pregnancy.
I would talk about it with her in a safe loving fashion,
There may be sexual abuse in her past to cause her to fake it as well.
[QUOTE=finewine]There may be sexual abuse in her past to cause her to fake it as well.[/QUOTE]
That's what I was going to suggest. It sounds like she has some emotional issues that she needs to overcome - possibly past sexual abuse.
She does sounds like she might be a young teenager. Is that right? She could be having trouble with her own insecurities, etc. Try to talk with her in an accepting, loving way. It would hurt to try and be intimate with someone and have them seem cold/disgusted in return. She might need time to work out her issues.
Oversensitive genitalia does happen, she may have had something happen to her, she may be self conscious (that may be the lights off issue also), she may not be ready for a really intimate relationship after all. And I too am wondering what her age is. You do have decisions to make, but whatever they are, handle it with respect and sensitivity. Good luck.