Just wondering what is a good way, when it comes to sex/foreplay, how to turn a man down without hurting his pride, or making him feel insecure.
I know I'm very truthful with my boyfriend, but sometimes he gets a little insulted/offended/hurt, as I do come on a little too strong at times.
Any suggestions???
Sat, 02/16/2008 - 22:07
#1
How do you turn him down?
LOL, awww poor little boy, my heart bleeds for him.
No, not really.
Frankly, if you do not want sex, you do not want sex and he has to accept that when it comes to sex: women rule. If she says no, it is no. She does not have to apologise or explain. "No, thank you." is sufficient.
He is in charge of his emotions/pride/whatever, not you. Rejection does hurt, however, so say no with kindness and some regret. If he "pushes" then the gloves can come off and you can be as "strong" as you like without any regrets as he has violated the "women rule" law.
No thats not what I meant
I WANT SEX!!
I'm sorry it came off like that, I meant if he's doing something I don't necessarily like.
Um... lets say for instance if someone didn't like the way their boyfriend kissed them, how would they say "hey you suck at kissing" in a not really nice, but not rude way.
Hope this clears it up.
Well, instead of saying "hey you suck at kissing", how about something like "I'd prefer it if you did it like this..." or something like that. Its really quite easy to tell someone that you don't like something without putting them down, just suggest an alternative that you might like. Be open and honest, there is no point in putting up with something you don't like because you are afraid to say something.
If he is a considerate person, then he will appreciate the feedback. Speaking as a male, sometimes it can be difficult to know if we are doing it right. A little bit of feedback can be really helpful.
Oh, so THAT'S what you meant!
Easy peasy!
Words are wasted on men.
Just take charge ala www.wickedwomangroup.us and SHOW him what you want from him. Tell him to hold still. He cannot move or you will stop doing whatever you're doing. Then caress, kiss, etc. him as you want him to caress, kiss, etc. you.
Let him get a taste of you at your most gloriously incandescent and he will not complain.
EEK
I've read that stuff... it's a little too advanced for me, just began all this sex stuff like 4 months ago.
I do plan on it some day!! Hopefully soon!!! Just don't think I'm ready yet, plus doubt we'd really get the chance to do that anytime soon.
Cyclefreak, you are so right, so far feedback has been very beneficial!
Thank you both
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;209117]Oh, so THAT'S what you meant!
Easy peasy!
Words are wasted on men.
Just take charge ala www.wickedwomangroup.us and SHOW him what you want from him. Tell him to hold still. He cannot move or you will stop doing whatever you're doing. Then caress, kiss, etc. him as you want him to caress, kiss, etc. you.
Let him get a taste of you at your most gloriously incandescent and he will not complain.[/QUOTE]
Er, well, yeah. I guess that's another way you could do it!
Either you have it in you..or you don't.
Sometimes a simple "here, try this:" and a demonstration are all he'll need.