If you are present why is he just having sex alone? That part seems odd to me since I am sure this is not a one time occurrance. He does not include you in his play? As far as the lack of cleaning up...I would address the issue the same as if he left dirty dishes in the sink, or dirty tissues on the floor. He is a guest in your home and he should respect that and your property...to me he is being very disrespectful of you. Frankly, I am suprised he does not see something wrong with his behavior. Just be honest and firm about what is acceptable...there is nothing wrong with you speaking up!

How is your sex life? Maybe he is trying to send you a message ...
I do think it is rude, but sometimes I wish i could have the never to do the same thing when my wife is just there doing nothing and I'm scratching the walls after 3 weeks with no sex. Next time ask him if he needs help or if he wants you to leave.

I think he may have a problem. He prefers to masturbate by himself in your presence, rather than have sex with you? That doesn't sound right. And messing up the bedsheets and not cleaning up sounds a bit off too, as if he's deliberately doing it to upset you. At the very least he should use tissues, and not mess the bedsheets. I could be wrong, but his behaviour sounds a bit deviant to me. I'd be wary of this guy.

I think he is SELFISH, which would make him a taker and not a giver. I would think twice before marrying him.

Sheets and blankets on the living room sofa??
Wow! And yet you want to be 'tactful'?

OKAY! Try this the next time he starts - remove the sheets and blankets and hand him a towel. Stare at him from close by and take notes - ask him to "repeat that please I didn't get that motion down quite right in my notes".
When he's about to ejaculate, ask him to "slow down you're moving too fast for me". while you fantically scribble in your notebook. Then before he's recovered, ask him to do it again because you think you missed a few strokes in the middle there.

Be VERY SERIOUS while you're doing this.
Think of yourself as a scientist carefully observing the masturbatory habits of some odd primate.
Which would only be the truth.
Then the next time - take pictures saying you need them to illustrate your paper.

[QUOTE=hedgehog;162470]ok...so this is pretty much about my boyfriend's masturbating habit....
its not that i think he's gross, does it too much or anything like that...the thing is he always uses my blankets and leaves them dirty and wadded up when he's done....in addition, although i get the feeling that he wants to be alone while he's doing his thing, he usually sits on the couch in the living room or some other completely not private place, which makes me feel awkward and like I am the one who has to leave the room and not come back till he's done...i'm not sure how i should approach the subject without sounding like i am just jealous or being rude to him...any advice? please help me be tactful![/QUOTE]

At the risk of sounding blunt, I must ask this: did your boyfriend grow up in a cave? What the hell is his problem? Was he raised by wild dogs or what?

Yeah, exactly. I think this guy has a real problem.

I still think my idea would work.

And you're with this guy - WHY?

Okay...a non-threatening approach is telling him that you don't mind his masterbating (if this is the truth) clearly state what bothers you; such as doing it in your blankets on the couch and asking him to do it in a less conspicuous area. Then ask him if he understands what is bothering you. Come to an agreement of what is acceptable to you...it's your home and he needs to comply. Skip the word deviant in your conversation.

this guy is sick....lol

[FONT="Arial">[SIZE="3">The pro to this is that he's comfy enough to do that around you...so that means he's open to you all around.

If you feel awkward w/ it, perhaps join him? it could get interesting & be fun... I know I never did that until my DH and I got together, now we can do it together & I can "get off" w/ him there. Something I NEVER thought I'd be able to do.

The part of him cleaning up & throwing stuff around, I'd just say "when you have to clean up, please use a paper towel & throw it in the trash"... just treat it as a chore, not something gross. That way he doesnt' feel rejected or embarassed. How would he feel if you left your dirty tampons/pads all over the place, he'd be grossed out too, perhaps put it to those terms. Especially if you're the one who's doing the laundry/cleaning it afterwards.

That's never happened to me, but that's how I'd approach it when it comes to the "messy" rags. As far as the masturbating in front of you, join him! I think it would be great, you both get off together & it's no longer just about HIM, it's about the 2 of you. JMO, HIH

~C[/SIZE][/FONT]

Why don’t you masturbate in front of him at he same time then use one of his shirts to wipe yourself that might make him think twice

I masturbate in front of my girlfriend all the time, she likes to watch me play with my self, infact I rarely masturbate by my self anymore. Most of the time she will watch me then finish me off with her mouth. I'd never think of not cleaning up though, that's just wrong.

Eww! That is disgusting beyond all reason!