I would like a female viewpoint,
I recently got married, and we have been sleeping together for 3 years. She doesn't enjoy sex is much as I do, and it really frustrates me because I want her to enjoy it as well. The main problem is she doesn't get wet very easy and she gets very frustrated because I'm always ready to go. Usually to get her wet I give her a massage, a naked one of course, which I like doing. Then I use her vibrator on her and it gets her wet. She just gets frustrated that we have to do that everytime before sex to get her in the mood.
Only a few times she got wet on her own I think, once she was lying for me naked in bed, and when I came home from work, she was really wet. Her vagina is very tight as well, I don't know if that as anything to do with it. I have tried candles and romantic music, but I think it doesn't happen right away she gets frustrated or tense. Can anyone give me any advice on what I can do or try, she also doesn't like when I try and give her oral sex. Any advice or experiences on how you get wet, or overcame a similar problem would be much appreciated
Try the stickies on The Program, as well as foreplay. Also, does she have any psychological hangups about sex? There was a study done in Malaysia regarding
the anterior fornix and frequent massaging there helping with vagina dryness. The fact that she doesn't like attempts at oral hints at psychological hangups.
Good point. In addition to reading EEKs two articles please read those articles listed in the Index about the how-tos of making out.
As you relate your situation it seems to me like the two of you do very little making out. Is this true? Do you devote a lot of time just fooling around, Necking, Petting, and Heavy Petting, before moving on to Foreplay, and...? It takes a woman at least a half hour of cuddling and caressing to get tuned in and turned on. If you can devote more within reason, great. This will also benefit the man. So, if you are rushing toward the finish line by not doing much "love making" as described, you are not doing your manly duties well.
Use a lubricant on/in her as well as on you, if necessary or as need be.
Ahem..are you listening?
You're NOT thrilling her, buddy, therefore she's not getting wet.
First thing is to read my two articles. Next thing is to get the right attitude which is a combination of masculine heat tempered with a respect for the feminine. You must understand that if unleashed, her desires can completely overwhelm you.
The trick is to unleash her desires. You cannot DEMAND this, you can only INVITE her.
So while you are moving through the steps outlined in The Program esp during the body worship murmur gently how desirable she is, how absolutely wonderful you find her, and yet, do NOT let her reach orgasm. What you want her to do is to get so frustrated that she attacks you.
Poke the tigress with a stick in the hope of getting her to pounce upon you.
Afterwards, scoop her up into your big strong arms say WOW! and swing her around whilst laughing - CELEBRATE! REJOICE!
and then tell her she needs never hide from you again, you can take all she cares to give you.
Got it?
Thanks for the thoughts everybody,
Evil kitten where are your postings where you describe what to do, and what does your man do to you to get you going?
With me, all he has to do is to "just show up" but that's me. Not every woman is as much a sexual powerhouse as I am.
Look under the Married and Long-Term Relationship area.