You just have to make an effort to initiate. Surprise him when he comes home from work dressed in lingerie, or with no clothes at all. Take the attitude of YOU rock his world. When you get the attitude, the rest follows.

I find this confusing in many posts from women; they are inhibited sexually by their spouses. Why? Weight gain? lack of interest? Marital issues? And was it always this way since you first met?

"I am so ready......"

Be a Nike: Just Do It!

If she is in there, give her permission to perform.

From a male perspective I think many women put a lot of pressure on themselves to "perform" when that is not what I believe is what most guys expect. There are any number of ways to initiate sex that do not involve the type of "seduction" portrayed in porn and other main-stream movies or tv shows. There are many simpler ways to start something hot. Walk up behind him while he's washing his hands and slide your hand down the front of his pants. I bet it moves :)

As Sera mentioned...surprising him is never a bad idea. As the complete opposite to that...telling him your plan for after work/dinner/football and sticking too it is also hot. I mention the plan because it has at times worked for my wife and I (she also suffers from a lack of confidence and has trouble initiating sexual interactions). The planned encounter allows him to ponder things throughout his work day and hopefully excitement and anticipation build throughout the day. Also, it "locks" you in to starting something when he gets home so the shy side of you has to either initiate the encounter or go back on your word.

A simple way to take control would simply be to get on top of him during sex (if you do not currently). I had many more partners than my wife before we started dating and I still have trouble getting her to be on top during sex. She has it in her head that since she feels like she doesn't know what to do that I am instantly comparing it to other girls who have been on top of me in the past when this couldn't be further from the truth. I simply see it as a way for her to show me that she wants to **** me just as badly as I want to **** her...as opposed to her simply enjoying it when I am in control.

Finally, find what really turns your yet-to-be-unleashed inner freak on. A woman who knows what she wants is sexy. A woman who has the confidence to tell you what she wants is sexy. If this sounds like something that makes you anxious to contemplate, just know that if he is at all like me...he will see and appreciate the effort even if you are still not 100% convinced yourself of that you are really being "sexy".

Give yourself permission to enjoy sex and him. Start thinking of him as "yours" to do with what you will. then take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and go get him, tigress!

Initiating sex is just a very simple way to get into the mindset you want to be. In the morning when you wake up, start cuddling up to him and let your hands wander down between his legs. Or before you go to bed! Or next time he is in the shower, join him and give him some oral. You don't even have to say anything, just start making moves on him and I'm sure he'll appriciate that new side of you starting to blossom.

Good luck, let us know what happens.

Good luck to you Pamedericks. Since initiating is not something you have done before, it will take a little time to do it, but you just need to start and try something different for you which is always hard the first time. Once you start, it will get easier. Just a few suggestions from a guy's view point besides what has been suggested by the others here.

Wear something different than normal that is sexy. For example, if you normally wear a bra, then go without and wear a low cut shirt, undo an extra button or two, or wear one that is semi-transparent. This can also be done with your panties. Put on a pair that you normally wouldn't wear that are sexy. I like when she wears a thong either lacy or just plain. Of course he may not notice under your pants, so you may need to whisper to him that you have a surprise for him under your pants and let him have a sneak peek. One I really like is when you go out to dinner, excuse yourself and go to the restroom, come back and slip your panties in his pocket. The dinner will go much quicker. If you wear a dress then when you get into the car you can flash him or on the drive home give him a flash at a stop light and tell him how you like him to touch you.

Other ways are to expand out what you do during sex and instead of him doing the moves, you make a move and change positions. Such as you being on top. Or just talk to him a little nasty as you are making love and tell him how much you are enjoying him. I like to tell her it feels so good being in her. She doesn't like too much talk or if I talk real nasty. But you will need to say things he would like to hear. I would love it if she would say things like I want your cock in me, or do me hard with your cock, or lick my pussy and make me cum. I like it when she guides me to what she wants such as gently pushing my head to her vulva so she can have some oral sex. I love giving it, so knowing she wants it right then is hot.

I also enjoy when she moves down on me and gives me oral without me asking. It's nice to sit back and enjoy her working on me and then to watch. Or when she moves from me giving her oral to a 69 position so we both get to enjoy. I just know she is really enjoying the oral both receiving and giving when this happens. I also love it when she will finger herself while I am giving her oral. I get a short break while she keeps herself hot and I just enjoy the visual of watching her fingers go up inside her or rubbing her clit. I'm hoping sometime that I can watch her O from her pleasing herself and I can do the same for her.

Just some passive ideas and some more active ideas if you want to try any of them. Just get started and try something different. Changing our normal actions is hard, but well worth it in making sex with your partner better.